


Outsider pt. 3

by StarryNighty



Series: Outsider [3]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Assault, Dominance, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Graphic Description, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Original Female Character of Color, Past Sexual Assault, Polyamory, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Tenderness, Violence, arousal from pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 68,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21524527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNighty/pseuds/StarryNighty
Summary: This is PART 3 of Outsider: Slow burn, Dark! Bucky, Dark!Steve, Angst-y goodness, smut, dubious consent/non-consensual, obsessive behavior!Warnings For overall Story: SMUT, violence, dubious consent/non-consensual! Not all chapters have this. But there is an undercurrent of angst and recurring dark themes! Do not read if this content if it offends you or isn’t your thing, please! DO NOT READ! And if you are under 18, click off this page!-Also: I do not condone any behavior that is depicted in this story. No I do not believe canon Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes to behave this way. It's just how I wrote this dark! story which kinda depends on non-canon qualities.Check out some amazing art by Cheeky9274! https://call-me-kayyyyy.tumblr.com/post/190160830927/inspired-by-sapphirescrolls-original-female
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/ Female Character/ Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character of Color - Relationship, Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Outsider [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1514882
Comments: 99
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

Steve drew in a breath and let it settle before allowing the weight of it to pass through an emerging crocodile smile. He was back. Steve glanced around the kitchen, he hadn’t been gone long enough for much of a shift. But the perfect life he had worked so hard for had altered. And the change was standing next to Awenha.

Her eyes, large and scared watched Steve. And Bucky, stiff and unmoving clenched his fist when Steve patted Azie on the back. Awenha’s eyes dropped to Steve’s hand spread over her daughter’s back where he gently rubbed, once and then twice.

Bucky shifted tensely next to Awenha.

She stepped forward leaving Bucky behind. She ignored his warm metal fingers grazing her wrist as she walked half-way between Steve and Bucky.

“Azie.” She said calmly and looked down to see her daughter’s round face lit up in a smile. “There are donuts in the fridge.”

Azie beamed. It was enough to tempt her away. Awenha’s eyes panned up to Steve and waited. When Azie ran from Steve, Awenha finally took a breath when she bounced by. Awenha’s fingers grazed over her messy soft curls.

She continued to watch Azie. Already covered in powdered sugar, the little girl grabbed two donuts slung the bag on the counter. “Azie, after you eat, wash up. We are going to the store.”

If she wasn’t scared into inaction, Awenha might have scooped up Azie and ran out of the house. But as she turned back to Steve, he was walking toward her at the same time Bucky was coming up from her right.

Azie wove her way passed Bucky and Awenha, then nudged Steve on her way out of the kitchen. Another sigh of relief billowed from her lips as she returned her focus back to Steve.

“I think of Azie as my daughter.” said Steve, his voice was low, hurt.

“She isn’t.”

Awenha could hear his jaw click before he spoke. “Why are you here?” asked Bucky through clenched teeth.

A feigned indignant expression swept across Steve’s features when he glanced at Bucky.

“This is my family.” said Steve, his hand slowly made to touch Awenha’s burgeoning belly. “My baby is here-“

Bucky snatched Steve’s wrist with his metal hand, twisted back. “Don’t touch her.”

“Okay, enough.” Awenha’s voice shook coming out of her throat. She glanced from Steve who was staring at Bucky. “Let him go. Azie is in the next room. The last thing she needs to hear or see is her favorite uncle getting his ass kicked by her father.”

As usual, Steve was composed and steady just like Bucky. But even as Awenha glanced between the two of them she could feel the shift. A restless energy, a palpable tense force snapped when Bucky released Steve. His metal arm crossed in front of her stomach slowly pushing her behind him making room to stand where she stood.

“Bucky.” She said anxiously, her eyes round with fear stared at Steve before her vision dissolved to the back of Bucky’s head.

“Go. Take Azie. Go.” said Bucky.

Steve moved, stepped up closer. “She’s not going any-“

Before the gasp and the shock could set into her muscles Bucky punched Steve in the nose with his flesh fist. It was quick, calculated enough that Steve never moved only slightly snapped his head back.

Awenha stepped back from Bucky in time to see Steve wipe away a trickle of blood from his top lip. Blue eyes burning with rage, Steve glared from his fingertips to Bucky.

Awenha closed her eyes. She took a long deep breath before the storm she knew was about to crack off. When she opened them Steve struck out knocking Bucky across the jaw and back into the island to her right.

She stood there in horrified surprised as Bucky and Steve took turns punching and shoving each other in the space between her and the slight kitchen counter. Fast moving and amazingly quiet the two of them knew each other enough to anticipate the others next strike.

“Stop!” she hissed and reached in to grab Bucky’s arm.

Neither paid attention, they meant their blows—hit each other with every bit of power they possessed.

And when she touched his arm Bucky became distracted. The unguarded seconds were enough for Steve to suddenly move, ignored her efforts and shifted around to grab Bucky around the throat.

Bucky fought back, but so did Steve.

Awenha slipped between the island and the two of them struggling against each other’s strength. Hugging her belly with one hand and gripping Steve’s shoulder with the other. Awenha pulled on him, fisted his slick cotton button up in her hands and tried to pull him off Bucky.

In the mix of hands and maneuvers someone struck out. They swung hard and hit Awenha in the shoulder knocking her back beyond the island toward the entryway threshold. She landed on her left hip, and shoulder, smacking her ego in the process. As if she could have stopped them. Awenha stared at them from the floor. The satin purple robe slipping open, her legs laid crooked she knew then it was time.

Steve jerked back and shoved Bucky toward the sink. Awenha saw him rush toward her, one hand held out reaching to help his eyes worried narrowed in on her. But Bucky yelled a horrible low bellow for Steve to stop and he turned in time to take the entire blow to his jaw.

Awenha scrambled from the floor. The soles of her feet slapped over the wood toward the living room where Azie now stood watching from the threshold. Deep set, down-turned eyes, like Bucky’s, stared fixed on the commotion behind Awenha. The girl only moved when Awenha grabbed her hand hurried back down the entry way toward the bedroom.

Crashing. Smashing. The house vibrated and shook from the bodies in the kitchen warring.

She rushed Azie in first and pulled open her drawer while slinging off her robe and quickly dressing in whatever sweater, leggings she managed to find first.

Yelling. It was low, in pain. The groan belonged to Steve followed by another crashing bash somewhere down the hall.

Awenha slipped on her shoes and grabbed one of Azie’s light jackets hanging off the door knob of the closet. She didn’t concentrate on the shake in her fingers, or the tears now slipping down hot cheeks. Awenha had to get out. She needed to get Azie out.

“Mama, what is happening?” Azie’s small voice stilled Awenha who looked at her daughter with the best imitation of a light smile. “Why is daddy fighting with Steve?”

Azie’s fingers swept under Awenha’s chin and stared at the water over the pads of her fingers. “Why are you crying?” she asked in a shaky voice.

“We need to go. Can you keep up? Do I need to carry you?” asked Awenha as she snapped out of her daze and zipped up Azie’s jacket.

“I’m too big.” She said.

“No you’re not.”

Awenha stood, held Azie under the arms and lifted as if she weighed nothing. The girl wrapped her legs around her mother’s hip and back. Awenha locked one of her hands around her wrist under Azie by-passing the six-month pregnant stomach in the process.

She turned toward the open bedroom door listening to the sudden silence. Slowly she walked out of the room, still aware of how quiet it had become.

“You don’t belong here!” shouted Bucky. Loud and angry, and desperate for whatever he was doing to Steve to end.

Awenha shuffled midway into the hallway that led to the kitchen. It wasn’t all silence she discovered. The struggle was contained, though leveled out in ensuing violence that only made her shake more in its ringing stillness. She looked to her right, toward the front door. Maybe she wouldn’t have to run.

Steve’s voice mumbled from down the hall from the kitchen. Awenha turned back and listened. Hoped.

“I took—“ Steve gargled as he spoke. “I took care. Of. Her.”

Steve screamed, the groan that followed after sunk down inside Awenha.

“You butchered her!” Bucky shouted back.

Azie squeezed Awenha’s neck throwing her off balance backward. “Mama.” said Azie softly.

The sound of glass shattered the moment. Something large, most likely one of them broke through the window alongside the dining table. And Awenha rushed down the hall toward the kitchen.

She glanced toward the large window now in pieces, the wood splintered in the corner, the curtain ripped off and beyond it Bucky and Steve blocking and throwing punches.

Her heart dropped when Steve made to move back toward the window. Bucky pulled him back with authority. He wrapped his metal arm around Steve’s neck secured the hold with the other and held him there. Awenha’s eyes shifted to Bucky’s face. He was speaking, his jaw flexing lips moving fast even as Steve took shots at the spaces where Bucky was exposed.

He took the hits.

Azie squeezed her neck again and buried her face in Awenha’s neck.

Awenha turned and hurried down the hallway toward the back door. The barrage of clattering breaking glass behind them had her holding out a stretched hand ready to open the door.

“Mama!” screamed Azie as Awenha twisted back around to find Steve standing there.

Awenha froze. Beyond his looming frame, no Bucky, just light from the sun shining shards of pale yellow afternoon rays around him. Steve glanced over his shoulder back out of the window. He ran his hands through his hair as he turned back to Awenha.

“We have a minute.” said Steve as he began to walk through the kitchen.

Azie squeezed her neck again, the girl never looked up but kept hugging her mother. And despite the eruption of fear currently rushing through her, Awenha stepped toward the door and gripped the knob.

The moment Steve realized he ran towards Awenha. Quickly she slipped Azie from her arms and pushed her in the space where the wall met the door and stood in front of her.

Steve was there, in front of her, in a matter of seconds. She got a good look at him then. His shirt torn down the front, the buttons plucked off, a smudge of red near his nose. The brave captain stared down at her studying the shake in her shoulders, the tears in her eyes.

He reached behind her toward the knob and turned it. He opened it.

“Go on Azie.” he said.

The girl did not move.

“Azie?” asked Awenha.

The girl hummed back and tugged on her mother’s sweater.

“I’ll be right behind you.”

Awenha could not see her face but knew immediately after Steve shut the door that Azie had walked out. Because Steve moved in closer, crowding her against the wall and part of the door as he reached for her face.

Steve held her there, hot hands cupping her jaw, his thumbs beginning to press into her cheeks. With his lips a breath away he locked eyes, brown met blue and Awenha couldn’t shake the feeling that he was not wholly threatening. That even though he had lost his way he would not hurt her. But she knew his frantic love, left unchecked could turn dangerous.

“Where’s Bucky?” she asked, tried to speak louder but the capacity to do so was lodged in her throat.

His voice was light, unperturbed as he spoke. “Outside. Sleeping.”

Steve closed his eyes, leaned in and rubbed the bridge of his nose over Awenha’s right cheek.

“I love you.” He said and his lips kissed the edge of her mouth.

Awenha held his wrists, pulled gently against his hold but he would not relent control. “Steve. Let me go.” she pulled on him again.

His thumbs began to dig in. “No.”

Steve kissed her hard, pressed his lips against her unwilling pout without further thought. He was too busy loving her warmth and shaking off the overwhelming feeling of jealousy to care much further than her hopes. This was where she belonged, he thought. She fit right in, here in his grip, with her lips on his and her attention on them. Their family.

Awenha’s hands slipped from his wrist to his chest. She pushed against him, turned her head dodging his kiss.

It was then and there Steve felt the last holdout of his fury break down. Jealousy exploded in his mind. He had showed her how far he could take it. The actions that he took at Tony’s hide-away had all but proved it. But here she was, once again shoving him off denying his feelings. Because of Bucky. It ignited his rage.

“You want me.” whispered Steve and jerked her head back to his glare. “You wanted me, remember? In my quarters?” Snappishly he shook her head made her focus on his every word. “You were lost without me.”

Awenha could only stare up at him afraid and watching for his next move. His boots slid in closer, body heat fit to boil water laid upon her skin in humid waves. No distance, no air. Steve’s love was suffocating.

“Please don’t do this. Don’t leave me.” He whispered again, though this time his hands dropped from her face and slid around her waist.

He hugged his body into her. “It’s dark without you.”

She could smell his sweat, the rust of blood, and as he raised his head to kiss her once again the scent of desperation filled her nose.

“What you’re doing…you’re out of control Steve. Can’t you see yourself?”

“I see only you. Our family.”

“If we are a family-“ he wasn’t listening, simply staring at her lips. Awenha held his face, the action of her touch began to soften his hold around her waist.

“We are a family.” Her voice cracked while she tried so very hard to hold herself together. “And you are hurting it. You’re hurting me.”

Steve blinked. The angry spark that set off the wildfire in his mind fizzled. She looked different. Stronger maybe, not so much as threatened as she was tired of him, it was new. Like barely contained, well placed contempt.

Steve snapped back and pulled Awenha with him as Bucky grabbed him around the head. She jerked forward in time to catch the wall as his hands snapped to Bucky’s metal arm. They fell to the wood floor.

Bucky, wild eyed and furious looked to Awenha.

“Run!” he shouted.

* * *

Azie’s long thick curly black hair spilled over Awenha’s lap. Both she and her daughter now sat in the shuttle bound for Wakanda.

Awenha leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes as she caressed Azie’s shoulder.

She ran. Awenha thought it would feel different. That somehow being out of Steve’s reach would bring relief. But at the moment, the only sensation that filled her was dread.

The little girl’s head snuggled into her mother’s thigh. “Why were they fighting?” asked Azie.

Awenha thought for a moment as she stroked Azie’s cheek.

“They disagreed.” Said Awenha.

Azie sat up. Confused hazel eyes gazed up at Awenha.

“About who gets to be the dad?” asked Azie.

It was Awenha’s turn to be confused. She had to imagine what it would be like to be so little with so much going on around her. It would appear as if this was the simplest answer. Playing house, where there was a mama, a dad, and the kids. Yes, it seemed like the easiest explanation to such a young mind.

Awenha waited, she watched Azie as her eyes roamed over here and there in thought. She could see the questions forming out of the ether planting thoughts in her daughter’s mind.

“Did daddy win?” asked Azie.

Awenha’s hand slid down Azie’s back.

“I don’t know.” She said, honestly. “Who do you want to win?” Awenha asked.

“Both so you don’t cry.”

Awenha blanched and looked to the sleek floor of the shuttle. Azie placed her small hand over Awenha’s stomach.

“Is he okay?”

“He?”

Azie smiled. “My brother. I know it’s a boy. I want a brother.” she said.

“The baby is fine, love.” Awenha assured.

“Will he be without a daddy too? Like I was?”

Awenha pulled Azie into her, wrapped her arms around Azie’s shoulders and body and enveloped her in warmth. She pushed passed her curls and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

“No, love,”  
  


* * *


	2. Terms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warnings: angst

**S** teve stood in the light pouring through the broken window. “I’m not proud of some of the things I did.” He said and kicked a piece of broken table as he sat on the dirty floor.

Shaded behind the second counter, Bucky too sat on the kitchen floor, against what was left of the island observing Steve posted against the wall leading to the entryway.

“I wanted her.” Steve picked up a thick shard of glass, turned it over in his fingers before tossing it away. “Just like you, no different. And I don’t butcher people by the way.”

It didn’t feel great to sit, but rather, a relief in doing so. The fight had pretty much dampened the moment Bucky strangled Steve. His unmoving body, the limpness in his arms, the life leaving his friends eyes was enough to make him reconsider taking Steve’s life.

Bucky swiped at the cut above his head, smeared the blood on the knee of his sweats. He was seemingly motionless, in the relaxed post fight frenzy. His blood cooled, but his patience waned.

Steve drew up his legs, draped his arms over them as he tilted his head back on the wall. The fight wasn’t gone, Steve promised, it had just begun. Though now, the focus had to broaden. Something had to change. Their situation was extraordinary which required tactical precision planning on his part.

Bucky hung his head, cast blue eyes at the man across from him.

“What happened? Steve, what’d you do?” asked Bucky. He wanted to demand the answer. He wanted to beat it out of Steve. But if the house was any clue as to how that would end up he forced himself to retreat to a compromise. He would listen.

Steve sighed like it was heaviest thing about him before he finally spoke.

“I fell in love with her because she loved you. It was the look in her eyes, Buck. I wanted that too. I needed it, still do.” 

Bucky continued to stare at Steve. It was unbelievable, the level of poise he reigned to justify his actions. Steve never took his eyes off Bucky, even as he spoke the conviction in his voice backed up the control he wielded.

“She needed a family,” said Steve. He brought his head back down, squared his eyes at Bucky as he spoke. “Since we failed…I gave her one.”

His eyes jerked away to the debris between them on the floor. “But she resisted. I had to show her the way.”

Steve slowly lifted his chin and looked back at Bucky. “’Can’t tell me you didn’t do it too.”

“Berlin- we went through it together.” Bucky insisted.

“I know what you did.” Steve retorted.

“What I was _forced_ to do.” Bucky struck back.

Steve agreed, but grudgingly. At least he had an excuse for his actions. Unlike him, he took steps to ensure Awenha stayed whether she wanted to or not. All that was required of Bucky was love. Steve looked away again at the debris, and tried not to let the resentment he felt show.

“And after?” muttered Steve, and then he asked more tentatively. “It wasn’t all great?”

Bucky stared at him for a moment, unsure if Steve was being sincere or laying in wait. Besides the disheveled shirt, the dried blood around his nose, he appeared just as understanding as the man he had grown to call his best friend.

Bucky grabbed a splintered piece of counter and pitched it into the pile between them.

“After? She was all I could think of.” Bucky hesitated and stared at Steve waiting for a snide remark or gesture. When Steve nodded, the familiarity of the moment of two friends chatting over a girl reminded him of simpler times.

“It was the last worst thing I could have done to another human as their puppet,” said Bucky. “I wanted to make it right. The treatment, from the Wakandans, she was part of it. I got more of her then, a lot more. And I wanted her even more because of it. And she pushed me away but I couldn’t let go, Steve.”

“She’s the best part of me now. I love her.” said Bucky.

He sat there, remembering the last visages of a dream he no longer clearly could access. Like a memory of a memory he could see himself now, watching a version of himself that only existed in the past. The dream-world, her angelic face within it, had been his saving grace.

“I love her too.” said Steve.

“What,” said Bucky frowning, “are you saying?”

Confusion swept over his features. There was something strange in Steve’s voice, almost lost or like he too was caught up in a memory.

“I can’t be without her. I can’t move forward. And I don’t want to look back, not anymore.” said Steve.

“I knew bringing everybody back meant you would return too. I took that chance. I hoped she would pick me and when she didn’t I slipped up, Bucky.” said Steve.

His head turned from Bucky to the large broken window. He gazed at it, light blue eyes trailing over the peaks of dark wood sticking out where the frame used to be.

“We love the same girl.”

“This is..is..” Bucky muttered, he struggled to find the words that would give his thoughts justice. But Steve rolled his head back toward Bucky.

He looked at Bucky but did not see Bucky. At least not in this moment as an idea gathered and took hold in his mind. Steve thought of Awenha’s face then. The last unhappy image he had of her before she ran. Her picture perfect lips trembling. Large dark eyes, always watching always perceptive, carefully gauging his level of fanatical behavior. Somewhere beyond the studious look in her eyes he could still hear her voice. The pitch waxy as it was placid. Pacifying.

“I know.” Steve stared at Bucky and then looked around at the destruction of the kitchen. “But we can fix it.” He added. _They_ could fix it. He could, for once, make her happy. Truly happy.

“You love her -so do I. I’m not leaving, and neither are you.” said Steve as his eyes glanced back to Bucky.

Part of him spiraled at the inclination. Before Steve even said the words Bucky knew it in his gut the plan that hatched in his friend’s mind. He knew Steve, maybe better than he knew himself. If life didn’t give him what he wanted, he made room for in other ways. Sometimes working within society, and outside of it if need be. The man was a contrarian at heart after all.

“Both of us can have what we want.” said Steve. Bucky felt sickened with the elation beginning to wash over him. He knew it was coming; it was unavoidable where Steve was concerned. But it didn’t stop his heart from racing in light of all the possibilities, it wasn’t right, but it felt necessary. It _felt_ good. And all the more reason to pursue the thought. Maybe Steve knew him too, thought Bucky. That Steve was aware of the strange desire or at the very least felt comfortable enough to prod at the idea with Bucky.

He needed to move. Bucky rose quickly as he got to his feet. His skin buzzed with the uncontainable twinge. Steve followed, though unsure as to how Bucky was taking his suggestion. Bucky’s face was reserved, but drawn in at the lips.

Watchfully, he took a step toward Bucky. He did not move, his eyes stared at the floor still deep in thought.

“It would be easier on her.” added Steve. Bucky blinked and looked back at Steve with an uneasy glare.

“Awenha wouldn’t have to worry about anything.” He quickly followed up. “We could take care of _our_ family.”

Bucky crossed his arms and took a few steps away from Steve. His bare feet stepped on top of bits of wood, flat pieces of broken glass with no bother.

His mind was in deep, checking and negotiation with himself and his higher morals. It was appalling, the offer to share her. He would be lying if he told himself it didn’t make him jealous, or, admittingly so, too much like Steve. Who never minded dealing out authority if he felt his grip loosening.

It was this tick that drove Bucky mad about the situation, about Steve. If Steve had just loved her, as Bucky loved her, it wouldn’t have hurt as much. If he had respected her Bucky wouldn’t have minded the idea. Her face at the Stark cabin alone was reason enough to end Steve’s life. God knows he tried. But he didn’t, and now Bucky was left with the task of pulling it all together.

Because this tension had to end for Awenha. She deserved better.

Neither one of them would go. Bucky shifted back toward Steve, his eyes still searching for another answer.

Because there were children, now.

Bucky looked at Steve who’s expression of absolute confidence reflected the choice Bucky was about to make.

“What makes you think she would even consider it?” asked Bucky.

Steve’s hands dipped into his pockets. He tilted his head as he spoke. “She will go along with it.”

Bucky shrugged slightly. “How?” he asked.

Steve bowed his head for a second his eyes lingered on the mess on the floor. Slowly he looked at Bucky from under his brows. “You have to first.” he said.

Bucky felt his temper spike. “What do you mean? I’m standing here. I’m talking about it. What else is there?” he asked.

Steve jerked his chin as he spoke. “Say it out loud.”

Bucky’s arms dropped. Steve had always been a stickler for loyalty. Now he required it. Bucky considered him, brow wrinkled, his heart beating hard in his chest.

“Awenha will be ours,” said Bucky.

Steve nodded, subtle but echoing the victory in his heart. He cracked a grin, it pulled small at the corner of his lips. “Awenha belongs to us.” added Steve in agreement.

* * *

Birnin Zana never felt more like home. The city was full now. Before, when Awenha left bound for New York, it had been silent. The dirt and paved pedestrian streets bustled with movement. Autumn turned over greens into vibrant gold, a few reds of the msasa trees. The city hummed with life once again. Everyone was back now. They were home, and so was she.

 _Home_.

Awenha held Azie’s hand within her own as the girl hopped out of the small terrain vehicle. The end of October here meant the beginning of the fragrant yellow wildflowers. As Awenha turned to walk up the path to her home a memory unwrapped in her mind with the gusting wind.

What was always most on her mind, Bucky. The same year when she avoided Shuri’s favorite areas. When she guarded herself from interacting with her once attacker. It was the same year she had gone against her gut and fed her curiosity and let him in. The scent of the flowers reminded her of his skin, the supple sinuous muscle wrapped in the softest skin she had ever felt. The smell reminded her of his heat too. Where once they laid together, in a cove springing with the delicate pale stalks of color and he had tickled her neck with his beard and whispered sensual promises for the day.

Awenha looked down at the girl to her side. She observed Azie’s eyes taking in the shades of fall, and then to the long blades of grass covering the red stones they walked upon.

“What do you remember?” asked Awenha.

“I remember Daddy.” said Azie and smiled up at her mother.

Awenha and Azie walked up to the stairs to the front door of their new old home. But before she could open the door it swung inward.

“Wenha!” shrieked a high, familiar voice.

Yuki jumped out of the door, strode a few steps toward Awenha.

She couldn’t move as Yuki, short but tightly bundled energy bounded toward her.

“Yuki!” whispered Awenha.

Yuki held out her arms, as did Awenha in a long missed hug. They stayed that way for a few seconds until Yuki finally pried away.

Awenha shook from her shoulders to hands as she stared at Yuki and her unchanged expression of sweet kindness.

“I’ve missed you!” said Awenha as tears slipped down her cheeks.

Yuki stared for a moment caught in her friend’s appearance. Narrow dark eyes floated down to Awenha’s stomach.

Her eyebrows jumped. “You’ve been busy.” she dropped her voice. “Another baby?” she asked.

“Kiki!” shouted Azie. Yuki stepped back and looked to the little girl standing to Awenha’s left. “I remember her mama! That’s Kiki!” said Azie.

“Azie?” said Yuki breathlessly. “You’re enormous!”

Yuki knelt and wrapped Azie in a hug as she stared up at Awenha with apprehension. Her thin short fingers held Azie’s head to her shoulder. “I remember you Kiki!” said Azie.

Awenha walked a few steps behind Yuki through the sitting area.

“I’ve freshened up the place. Washed the sheets. Dusted. Fluffed.” She turned back to Awenha with a sharp smile.

“My room!” shouted Azie and took off down the hall.

The two women continued to the kitchen. Where in the middle of the short counter in the center sat a two cups. Near, steam rose from the pot on the padded piece of cloth.

“And there’s some hot tea. I think I made it correct.” Said Yuki, she took a seat as it unfolded from the counter and pointed at the other.

“Sit. Talk and I will listen.” she instructed and pointed again at the seat.

Awenha shook her head and made to continue around the counter. “Azie will be back in here.”

“None sense. She’s rediscovering her room. Sit, please.” asked Yuki.

Awenha paused, she glanced back at the direction Azie would have come running from. She sighed and looked back at Yuki who sat there tasting the warm beverage with a grimace on her lips.

“What are you waiting for? Sit.” She asked again.

She walked over, the seat unfolded and she sat. “How have you been Yuki?” asked Awenha.

“Oh. So odd. One day you are here, and the next you pop back up five years later. My good friend only had one child and today I found out she will have two. Odd.” she said with a chuckle.

Awenha grabbed the small blue cup and held it in her hands. She remained silent as she nodded to Yuki.

“So. How have _you_ been?” asked Yuki.

Awenha explained what had happened after Bucky vanished. Moving to the U.S., accepting Steve’s offer for friendship, the Outreach. But then she stalled. Yuki watched Awenha shut her eyes as she took a long sip from her cup.

“What happened?” asked Yuki.

“Steve wanted to be a father to Azie. He wanted a family.” Awenha began and gazed over to Yuki. “He wanted us to have a child.”

“Okay…” said Yuki, her expression grew from concern to worry.

“I wanted him too.” said Awenha, and Yuki sat up straighter, surprised at her friend for being so open with her feelings. “I was finally accepting the idea until he lost control. He wouldn’t let me go.” said Awenha.

Yuki looked aghast. She sat the cup down, her warm fingers cupped Awenha’s arm.

“And when Bucky came back.” Awenha’s voice shook. Her eyes lingered off to the steam rising out of the pot. “I thought it was over. I hoped it would be.”

Awenha put the cup down and suddenly stood. Her face twisted into pain, a silent weep that had Yuki so apprehensive she too stood. Yuki walked around the stool slowly receding back into the counter and stepped up to Awenha.

“We had to run.” she said tearfully. “Bucky and Steve began to fight. I had to leave.”

Awenha burst into tears. She choked on her breath, she leaned forward, hands gripping the counter as she tried not to full on weep.

“Wenha!” cried Yuki, feebly she reached for a small table cloth and began to dab at Awenha’s face. At the same time Yuki motioned Awenha to the kitchen sink. By the time Yukie got her there, Awenha gagged hard into the basin as Yuki continuously bathed her face in icy cool water from the facet. Yuki cooed reassurances that only seemed to make Awenha cry harder.

“I lost both of them.” she gasped as tears poured out of her eyes and down her face.

It took a few long minutes but Yuki managed to convince Awenha to lie down. She sank into Bucky’s side of the bed and stared out of the window. Eyes blood shot, her breathing finally steady as Yuki laid opposite her on the bed.

Yuki stared across the bed at her friend. Awenha laid there gazing, her focus fixed on something beyond the window, perhaps trapped in redundant thoughts.

“I’ve gone back to allowing kids in the med facility.” said Yuki suddenly. Awenha’s dark brown eyes slid to Yuki’s face.

“Yesterday, I had an illustration of the human body.” said Yuki with a smile as she continued. “I went on about the intestines until we reached the appendix.”

“A little girl repeated it.” Yuki chuckled. “She had to be four, and as her teacher ushered the class out of the room after the lesson. I could hear her down the hall shouting a-pen-dicks, a-pen-DICKS! Dicks! Dicks!”

Awenha huffed. A smile split across her lips as she gazed at Yuki. A laugh erupted from her washing her dark mood to the side momentarily. It was wonderful. It felt transcendent in the moment as she giggled toward Yuki as she arrived at the point.

Yuki watched her friend. She observed the sudden hilarity of Awenha’s eyes as they brightened with her deep chuckle.

And then the laughter turned to a whimper, the smile curved to a frown as she brought her hands up to cover the tears.

“Oh, Wenha.” said Yuki and began to pull Awenha’s hands down.

“Steve. Why couldn’t he have just been _good_.” Scorn settled in her thick voice and she buried a part of her face in the pillow and Yuki’s concerned gaze. “I love him. I hate him. I want him. I want Bucky.”

“It’s so much.” said Yuki through a shaky sigh.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Give it a day or two.” Yuki implored. “And then speak to Bucky. Bring him here. You need him.”

“And Steve?”

Yuki dropped Awenha’s hands and sat up in the bed. She was silent for a few seconds as she gazed at her friend. She sucked in her lips as if she was willing herself to not make the next words she spoke unpleasant.

“He needs space. And so do you.” said Yuki.


	3. Prism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter warnings: angst.

  
  
Diligently, Bucky carefully surveyed the craftsmanship of the new window.

"At least it only took a week to fix this shit," he said.

Steve hummed a reply and threw in the last of his tools into the chest. Bucky glanced over to him and then to the new table near the window, and then to the smooth counter with the granite top. Steve didn't look over at him. He picked up a pile of torn cloths from the corner of the shiny island counter and shoved them into a plastic bag.

"They still wouldn't let me in this morning," said Bucky, and glanced back at Steve.

Steve nodded. There was another long pause filled with the clattering of tools hitting other tools inside the chest. Steve mumbled something under his breath. Bucky walked forward his hands falling into his pockets as he approached the island counter Steve stood at.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“I said, I doubt she wants to see either of us," said Steve and this time he did look back at Bucky. 

Steve tossed the plastic bag full of rags next to his chest on the floor. He ran a hand over his thickening stubble. Bucky could tell he was holding back. That the thin veil of control Steve covered with was the only thing from keeping him from exploding. Fixing the house, their mess, was sufficient to focus his mind for the last week. He knew Steve had not slept much, and rarely ate. Bucky wasn't worried, nor did he care much at the moment.

“I mean she would have called us right?” asked Steve, his brows pinched together as he stared at Bucky. When Bucky did not respond Steve cursed then grabbed the chest and the bag of rags and then headed through the kitchen toward the entryway. Bucky followed him out of the front door.

"She knows I hate that," said Steve as he dropped the chest in the back of his truck.

Bucky shifted moodily back on his heels as he stared at Steve and his sore attitude.

"I miss her too," said Bucky and glanced down the path of the sidewalk.

Two women approached. One with a high bun carried a small dark suitcase. The other, younger with bouncing short curls close to her head smiled as they grew closer.

Bucky turned toward them. His eyes fell to their wrists, black beads, the distinct style of the threads in their shirts gave their origin away to his careful gaze.

"Hello," said the younger woman. Bucky nodded, Steve turned from the bed of the truck and nodded as well to both women.

“James Barnes?” she asked.

“Yes.” He confirmed.

"We have a message to deliver. Please, can we go inside?" she asked.

Steve glanced over to Bucky. He motioned the women to follow him, and Steve joined them.

The woman with the bun laid the case on the island counter-top. The other placed her finger over the dark shell. Pieces fell away and transformed into an object Bucky could only describe as an upside-down triangle that seemingly stood suspended on its own.

“Merely press your finger to the top of this surface. We will be notified from the next room when you are finished.” said the younger of the two women.

They both walked through the kitchen, into the entryway and disappeared into the living room.

“It’s from Awenha,” said Steve. Eagerly he watched the device on the counter-top.

"Maybe you should step back," suggested Bucky. "We don't know what's on the other end of this." He said.

Steve glanced automatically up at Bucky. As he knew he would find, Bucky was watching him intently, waiting for Steve to raise his voice, or have a spiteful remark.

But Steve stepped back. He receded to the entryway arch and watched.

Not wanting to wait one more second, as soon as Steve walked away, Bucky pressed his finger onto the slick surface of the inverted triangle.

It spun on the tip as the silver dissolved into slinky black, the device rose into the air slowly and reorganized into the moving life-like image of Awenha. 

Bucky’s eyes roamed over her face, he noted the tiredness of her eyes, the melancholy of her voice as she spoke.

“Bucky?” she asked.

"Hey doll," he said louder, and overly enthused than what was necessary. He cleared his voice, winced while he smiled. "It's good to hear from you. I was worried," he said this time evenly.

Awenha smiled, though Bucky could see that it did not travel to her eyes. “Can you find your way to Wakanda?” she asked.

“I’ll be there.” He agreed right away. “How’s my girl?”

Awenha turned from him, her eyes focused away as she spoke.

“She’s sad,” said Awenha and raised her eyes back to him. “Confused mostly. But I told her you will be coming soon.”

Awenha gazed at Bucky. The smile was gone, as was the air of hope.

"I'm sorry I ran so far away," she said.

"You don't have to apologize," said Bucky.

He sensed movement from his right. Steve was drawn back in, his attitude had little improvement as well. His eyes darkened with repressed annoyance as they glided from her lips to her eyes.

"Ask her," demanded Steve.

Unable to see him, Awenha looked to the sides of Bucky. The expression of passive hopefulness slid off her face. "Steve?" she asked with an uneven voice.

Bucky's eyes slid in his direction, he forced himself not to react and then looked back to Awenha. "It is," said Bucky.

Awenha slunk back, bowed her head and away from Bucky. Steve saw the shutdown, the vacant eyes lost memories, the pain in a flash across her face. He was one of two that most likely knew it was a prelude to a total shut _out_.

So he strode toward Bucky and stood near him before Awenha could terminate the feed. Perhaps if she saw him standing there quiet and focused wholly upon her, it wouldn’t be so easy to do so. There were several distinct moments he remembered when she looked like this. Sad, with the lost feel about her. But this, Steve’s eyes moved from the dark circles around her eyes to lack of glow of her skin.

He did this. Steve realized he took her shine.

“How are you?” asked Steve quietly.

Awenha’s head lifted, her eyes landed on Steve.

“I’ve felt better.” She said softly. “But then again I’m free of you. So maybe I do feel great.”

Unable to bear the pain in her eyes Steve's eyes shifted down and away toward the floor. Awenha’s hard expression upon seeing Steve abated as Bucky looked over at Steve and then back to Awenha. She was glad he was hurt. But it also did not feel as satisfying as she had imagined. 

Awenha continued to stare at Steve with neither anger nor pity. He did not look as well as she remembered. He appeared as distraught as she felt actually. Bucky noticed where the image faded into nothing at the edge of what could be seen, Awenha’s arm moved. An action of rubbing her stomach, he thought.

"The baby's kicks are stronger," she said. Steve's eyes met her once again.

They locked eyes for a moment. Steve smiled weakly and then nodded slightly as her eyes focused back to Bucky.

“We will be waiting for you. I miss you.”

Bucky said his goodbye before the image abruptly cut off. As the woman said, they returned to the kitchen to collect the device that had returned itself atop the counter.

With a quick farewell, the women left the house.

Bucky and Steve stood there for a few minutes in silence. Bucky leaned against the kitchen sink, both of his hands held the rim of it as he stared at the island counter.

"I'm going," said Steve, his voice was lower, tighter as he continued. “She can’t shut me out. Not now.”

Bucky looked toward Steve who was just standing there, he could see the anger in his eyes, his lips pulled thin in a scowl.

"You can't force your way in," said Bucky hastily.

"I'm not. You saw her," said Steve. "Besides, she can't last much longer without us," he said indifferently.

Bucky pushed off from the sink. "She didn't ask for you," he said quickly, biting back the anger beginning to jolt through him.

"There's no way I'm not going," warned Steve.

Bucky’s voice spoke heavily, implying the words with an unspoken brutal promise. “And if she rejects you, I’m going to rip-“

"I'll leave," said Steve evenly.

* * *

Bucky's face faded and Awenha stepped away from the panel in the corner of her father's lab. Damp palms rested on her stomach as the baby kicked and fluttered. Awenha’s memories flashed back to the last time she was in the house with Steve. She couldn’t help but do so.

The baby kicked again somewhere under her ribs shooting waves of aches down her right side.

Awenha stretched a hand on the tight muscles of her lower back. It would be soon. Two months so much could happen and for the moment all she could think of was Steve.

“Are you not on good terms with Captain Rogers?” asked T’Challa.

Awenha’s head snapped to the right. Unaware that her kingly cousin stood in the entry of her father’s lab she quickly recovered with a small smile.

“T’Challa.” She said and walked toward him.

“Are you?” he asked again.

Awenha walked passed him through the doorway into the small sitting area.

“He is not welcome.”

An electric current shot through Awenha rooting her to the spot. T’Challa quietly approached from behind her.

“M’Yuki told me.” He said as he now stood to her side.

She could feel the pulse in her neck jump to a pitter-patter beat. "That man is not to set one foot on this land, Awenha," said T’Challa flatly.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. Gently, he came to stand in front of her. “Not until you retrieve him yourself. Your guest will be mine as well. And also subject to exile if I see fit.”

Awenha quickly thought back to their conversation. It wasn’t much. Mostly tears on her part.

“What did Yuki say?” she asked.

T’Challa stared down at her unmoving. "That what is going on is far more than what it appears."

“You don’t have to worry about me, cousin. I am more than capable of –“

“I know you are.” T’Challa interrupted. He stepped back, respectfully giving her space. “But this is about your safety.”

T’Challa paced near the lumpy couch before turning back to her.

Awenha scoffed as she stared back at T’Challa. “You know nothing.” she nastily retorted back and started to walk off to the next lab area.

“I know you have not been in Wakanda for five years," T’Challa announced, his voice low though the tone more than spoke for his authority.

“Five years away from your family. Even when they attempted to reach out, Steve Rogers was there to lie, to cheat his way around our further efforts. That is what Okoye spoke of.”

Awenha stopped halfway into the entry of the second lab.

"I know your father and mother would go away with you," said T’Challa softer. “But it was never out of fear. You were gone Awenha. I know it was out of fear that you could not return.” said T’Challa slightly crestfallen. “The Queen said your daughter returned here for a time without you. Why?”

Awenha turned back toward her cousin. No tears, no expression crossed her face other than faded apathy.

“Why?” he asked again, gently.

Awenha closed her eyes, the wince in her brows let T’Challa know he had hit a nerve.

“So if I go get him. He will be allowed to stay?” Awenha asked as she opened her eyes.

T’Challa nodded. They gazed at each other; Awenha felt the agreement would only apply if _she_ deemed him no threat and it would be the only way T’Challa would allow him entry.

And for the first time in the last three years, Awenha felt relieved. Finally, she could take a breath.


	4. Casa Loma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter warnings: angst, smut

_In Brooklyn, where Bucky was born and raised in a well-to-do home with the typical family, two parents and his wily three sisters were his base. His father owned and operated a mortuary that provided for his family. The man was stout, with a personality as cold as the dead he worked with and could be seen at all hours of the day and night heading out to work. And when Bucky was old enough to write his father had him in the tiny corner shop, running messages, delivering flowers to the departed's relatives, and ordering kits to use on the dead_

_Bucky did alright for himself. There weren't many teenage young men, old enough for war, that could walk around in a three-piece suit and look this good. Not when so many were so hungry. And when he walked into a room, flashed that overtly sensual smile words evaporated from would-be rivals and women swooned. The only problem then was his father. His restless lifestyle rattled his father’s sensibilities, set fire to his no holds bar work ethics. And kept Bucky right where he didn't want to be- stuck._

_And when his father would corner him near the table as a body lay there awaiting the next procedure Bucky had no choice but to listen._

_“When are you going to do your part? A man isn't a man until he has his own home until he can stand on his own two feet.”_

_And Bucky would leave him where the old man stood. Bucky didn’t care. He wanted more from his life and took zero shit from anyone, including his father. He made compromises on only one thing, his friends._

_Steve Rogers. The skinny little kid with too much fight in him and too little power in his punches appealed to Bucky. He had guts. Bucky admired that. Now as a man, who desperately wanted to be a part of something more than the grimy streets had to offer inspired Bucky. He wanted that too._

_He wanted a life rightfully earned._

Bucky’s eyes glazed over around the two thousand five hundredth mile. Neither he nor Steve had much to say to each other anyway. He welcomed the silence for what it was. A chance to catch his bearings. Somewhere in the last five hundred miles in their 7k destination, Bucky decided to focus on the bigger picture. 

He had adapted to unforeseen circumstances before. Not as a Hydra puppet, but as a free-thinking man, young and glory bound to a cause bigger than himself. At a time when he had followed his friend despite being a pin cushion for Hydra. He believed, he had faith in Steve’s leadership. And even though Steve’s eye coveted the gem, Peggy Carter, with her ruby lips, hair smelling like flowers and gun powder, Bucky stayed focused.

And when she sloughed Steve off? Bucky was there to remind him there were millions of dames in the world. Steve took that to heart. Bucky had to convince himself that while Steve was just chasing tail, it was harmless. A little fun to waste some time, sure, why not. But it turned into rumors, the silent accusation of stalking around the base for nurses, new and easily broken. Bucky had meant to stop him then. 

The world happened though. Events swept him away into a life void of heart.

And Steve, he was now used to getting his way all the time. Captain America, the golden boy, the man with the plan, the stickler with the biggest dick had been out in the world for too long.

Bucky's jaw clicked with the grinding of his teeth. Steve was like Bucky, touch starved and lovesick over the same woman. But they were different too because as time progressed, while he had to fight his way back to a semi-normal life Steve became beholden to absolutely no one.

That shit was going to change.

Bucky blinked away the fixed glare he had on the darkened windscreen. Slowly, he turned his head to Steve who was ever awake and tightly focused on the gauges on his left.

Bucky promised himself that he was going to get back to Awenha. And if by some miracle she actually wanted this, whatever this was, then he would be there. If only to ensure that Steven Grant Rogers kept his fucking word.

* * *

"ETA one hour," said Steve.

Bucky shuffled a bag to the other side of the jet behind Steve and said nothing in return. Steve continued to watch the windscreen.

A low beep flashed on the panel below to his right in the middle of the controls.

"We have a message incoming," announced Steve.

Bucky zipped up the bag and hung back as Steve accepted the communication.

"Your majesty," said Steve.

T’Challa’s image emerged from black on the screen. He stared back at Steve, and then his head shifted to Bucky who now stood close to the co-pilot seat.

“New coordinates. Accept them. We will see you soon.” Ordered T’Challa and then screen resumed the previous image of a map.

“That was short.”

“Ya," said Bucky and sat in the seat. He began to input the data provided by T’Challa quickly.

“Kinda seems like he wasn't happy to see us," added Bucky.

Steve glanced at the map as a new point began to flash on the screen.

“That’s outside Wakanda," said Steve tightly.

Bucky leaned back and stared at the screen. Steve snappishly clicked a few switches correcting their course.

"I guess she wants it done this way," said Bucky as his eyes turned to Steve.

Steve shrugged as he stared out of the windscreen. A few seconds passed, as if he couldn’t hold in his contempt anymore Steve jerked his head to Bucky.

“I don’t care what she wants.” He snapped defiantly.

Bucky swiveled the seat toward Steve and leaned in on the haunches of his arms. Never taking his cool blue eyes off of Steve’s glare Bucky spoke toward him levelly.

"You're used to getting your way," said Bucky, still calm though his eyes narrowed in. "You can't have it here. Not with Awenha, not with me, and not in Wakanda.”

Steve continued to stare at Bucky even as the glare turned hard he listened intently.

“The only thing I want right now is my family. And guess what, I don’t care what _you_ want," said Bucky.

He swiveled the seat in the forward position leaving Steve still watching him momentarily surprised.

Bucky glanced at Steve from the corner of his as he spoke.

“Don’t get in my fucking way, _Stevie_.” He added.

* * *

Bucky nodded to T’Challa and followed his command.

With Steve’s petulant yelling at Bucky's back, he walked into the forest that provided cover to the land that had become uncovered. Wakandan Border guards allowed him to walk through the tall wet grass, the low hanging leaves that slid across his face.

Steve did not take it well. Being told he could not enter.

Bucky only looked back once. It was dark now. And Bucky was grateful because now he could not Steve clearly through the brush. But he could hear his sharp tones, the defiance in his words the promises that what had occurred wasn’t the truth. That if T’Challa would just listen that he was sure he could make him understand.

Bucky stood there, listening and becoming angrier by the moment. Steve's words tumbled from a thin voice calculated for certain but offered information Bucky had previously had no clue. Awenha had not been back to Wakanda for five years. That was Steve’s doing. T’Challa’s voice fell low, harboring on threatening and drowned out any further explanations on Steve's part.

Bucky’s tongue rolled over his teeth as he listened to Steve’s vows of trustworthiness. Bucky shrugged in the direction of his voice and turned around. He walked further into the border leaving Steve behind.

* * *

“Dad,” said Azie.

Bucky picked up his last boot and tossed it next to the other at the end of the couch. With a half-smile, he looked down at her sitting right next to him with her arms woven within his metal arm. Staring up at him, hazel eyes, maybe darker, he thought. A shade like the color of the hilt of his best knife—he hadn’t noticed that before in the past. But she leaned in, laying her face on his arm.

“Ya, sugar?”

“What’s your favorite song?” she asked, her small voice hitting him in the heart.

Bucky blanked for a moment. Nobody had ever asked him that before. Blue eyes shifted to the woven rug under his toes as he scrunched them into the fabric. What song? He thought quickly. He remembered a moment just after his birthday. He had argued with his pop and left before the small cake could be cut. His sister, Rebecca, damn how long it had been since he had thought of her name? She tagged along behind him, young, specks of freckles over her cheeks, she had stared at him then too. The shape of her face reminded him a little of Azie, funny how that worked. _Family_. Eventually, she had managed to drag him to the park and bought him a hot-dog with some of the money she managed to save up all week by hemming a few of her friend's dresses.

She had called it a doggy-cake. The radio hanging slanted from a pole in the cart blasted. He tore the hot-dog in half and handed her the other part. She swayed to the song and smiled up at him while she ate.

Bucky turned back to Azie, who was still watching—maybe fixing his image to memory, he wondered. It had been so long.

"Blue Moon, Casa something played it," he said with a small smile.

Azie moved her hands around his arm, though still close, and pressed her beads between her thumb and first finger.

“Play the song, Blue Moon by Casa.” Asked Azie to her beads.

From all around, from speakers unseen, the song began to play softly. Immediately Bucky was swept up in the ethereal, the deep melodic tones of wood and brass rang through his ears and soul.

"It's a pretty song Dad," said Azie over the tune.

Bucky watched her as she closed her eyes and lightly swayed her head.

Awenha walked from the hallway, passed the front door into the sitting room. Bucky sat watching Azie while the song played around them. Effortlessly, like five years hadn't passed at all, he reached out with his fingertips and caressed her warm small cheek.

"You look tired Winnie," said Bucky, his daughter leaned her head against his arm and hugged him tighter.

Bucky felt the weight of Awenha’s gaze and turned to her there half-hidden in the shadow of the darkened hallway entrance. Her large curly hair pinned back away from her face, dark eyes staring lovingly though gloomy.

“Time for bed love,” said Awenha. “It’s well past twelve and you have a big day tomorrow.”

Azie opened her eyes to Bucky. A small feigned frown curved her lip into a pout.

“School.” reminded Awenha.

Bucky was still watching her when she stood and folded her arms around his neck. She gave him a light peck on the cheek as she walked away toward Awenha.

“Goodnight, dad.” She said with another look at him over her shoulder.

"Sweet dreams Winnie," said Bucky.

Awenha’s eyes fell to Bucky’s frame as she walked into their bedroom. Half lit from the small sconce on his side of the bed his body was awash in layers of dark and pale shadow and white light. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

His bare chest, fuzzy from a distance with swirls of patchy dark hair trailing down his stomach and disappearing under his sweats. He bent over and pulled back the covers of both their sides in one motion. Awenha watched his back work as he tossed the pillows to their proper places.

It smelled like him in the room. It wasn’t her imagination this time.

A moment or two passed of Awenha watching before Bucky seemed to realize that she had been observing him. Bucky turned to look at Awenha, no smile just his light eyes trailing over her as well. Her eyes moved away as she walked to the closet aware that soon she would lie near him once again.

But she wasn't afraid. Bucky was calming compared to Steve. With an open generosity to share himself, he was a man now comfortable in his own skin, unlike Steve, he reminded her of healing, he reminded her of home.

Reaching for a new top to sleep in her mind pushed memories of Steve to the front of her thoughts. Like how he was around her, pushy and needy, as were her memories of him. Steve’s body was hot, like every atom he was made of was combustive like his possessiveness. Just fevered skin barely containing the unrefined hot within, always, even as he slept. She made it a point to sleep in the thinnest of tops when they shared the bed.

She didn't have to worry about that tonight. Awenha selected a long-sleeved yellow shirt from the closet, loose enough around her midsection, but snuggly, cozy.

Bucky was near, she hadn’t noticed until she felt the softness of his warmth.

“You won’t need this tonight.” He said into the curve of her ear. Both of his arms glided down her forearms to her hands as he removed the top within her grip.

Awenha’s stiffened when Bucky’s body pressed against her back revealing the hard erection grazing her ass. Awenha opened her mouth to speak, Bucky was there wrapping his arms around her, over her arms and over her chest in a hug.

"It's okay," he whispered. His arms loosened, self-aware of what he asked of her and began to back away.

She turned as he took a step toward the bed.

“Why do you want me?” she asked.

Bucky stopped; he turned back to her looking confused.

"Because I love you," he said as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

Awenha laughed, short-a strained scoff from slightly parted lip. Immeasurably confused and taken aback she hadn’t meant to laugh at him. Even after the last five years, Bucky knew or at least had an idea of what had occurred. And he wanted her anyway? It seemed unbelievable to her.

Bucky moved back to her, his eyes caressing and memorizing her features as his hands cupped her face.

"I didn't have anything before you," said Bucky. "Not your love, your understanding, your patience."

He ran his flesh thumb over her bottom lip. “Without you?” he asked and smirked. “We met ‘cause you exist.”

Awenha tried to look away, bow her head away from his knowing gaze but he brought her head back to him.

"I love you because you love me and together we can do anything Awenha," he said.

He leaned in, his lips and short emerging stubble grazed her top lip. “You love me?” he asked on a breath.

“Yes.”

He pressed his lips to her. Awenha sank into the feeling of being his again. And at that exact moment a kick within stalled out the budding yearn.

Awenha sighed into his kiss, drawing her hands to his warm chest she pulled away from the kiss. Bucky’s lips skimmed over her chin, he kissed her jaw, his hands fell to her back pulling her back to him.

“It’s not your baby…” she said softly.

His tongue licked below her ear as his metal hand glided back up to the nape of her neck holding her there under his focus.

"It's okay Wenha," he said between kisses. "I know doll..and it’s okay.”

The faintest whimper, the soft moan he pulled from her as his teeth nipped along up her neck to her lips was the best sound he had heard in days.

"I swear I thought about you with him. I never forgot about you." she pleaded.

Before she could say another word he whispered “Shhh..” and kissed her again.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and fell into his embrace. His hands traveled down her sloping curves hemming up her floral dress. Higher, over her wide thighs, further up and over her ass, his metal hand glided underneath her silk panties.

And then she stalled again. Awenha’s hand snapped to Bucky’s metal wrist as she broke the kiss.

“I wanna see you, doll. I wanna see all of you.”

She was still appealing to his affection, his sudden soft handedness but it didn’t work. Bucky had the top over her head and onto the floor without another word.

Awenha couldn’t hide behind her hands. Full breasts and an even fuller stomach became fixed in his gaze. Bucky licked his lower lip as his metal hand caressed her belly up to the swell of her breast.

He had planned to give her another one. After the battle, after the dust had settled he had thought about planting another there. A mix of him and her and watch it grow from the start like he had missed out before on. And as he stared at her wider hips, the weight gained in her thighs and arms he loved her more, wanted her more now than he had ever in the past.

It wasn’t his child. Steve did that to her.

But Awenha was his. Her eyes lingered on him, worried and raw with emotion. The type of vulnerability he had come to adore and need.

Bucky pulled Awenha toward him, walking her back to their bed. Her underwear off, legs spread he was inside of her before she could make another protest. He licked her painfully erect nipples, enjoying the hiss from her full lips as his teeth scraped over them one after the other.

She tried to push back, in his mind it was a miss-step on her part--a flashback to Steve, but he kept going. He pulled her round thighs back apart and pushed inside her once again. Deep, commitment thrust to let it be known that he was back.

Her Bucky.

Bucky leaned over held her hips pulling and matching his pumps to every draw. “So warm doll…” he said breathlessly. “Warmest place I’ve ever been sweetheart.”

Her breasts bounced with his steady thumps. His love and adoration had a rhythm to it he would bet that Steve never achieved. She was his soul mate and it didn’t matter for shit that Steve had taken her body maybe even her heart for a time. He just knew as he felt her tighten around the length of his cock she was his.

Before he realized somewhere in the well of slinking darkness within he had his hands around her throat. He didn’t squeeze. God know's he wanted to. The fear in her eyes was plenty to send him into a pounding frenzy. And when her orgasm flowed over her so did her nails scraping down the sides of his ribs to his hips driving him harder faster into her hot center.

He wanted her again, moments after he came, Bucky wanted her more. But as his eye refocused on her quiet face the feeling waned with her gaze. Warm eyes, soft mouth held open with feathery pants stilled his need.

He let go of her neck, lowered his hands to the mattress and leaned over her completely.

“I knew you wouldn’t have forgotten me," he said and then he kissed her.

~

Awenha rolled, and scooted in the bed. Eyes wide awake, hair slipping out of the wrap. She couldn’t sleep. Bucky’s soft snores hadn’t kept her from the sleep she desperately needed. Another’s face stayed with her even after she shut her eyes and tried to keep out memories of the last five years.

Awenha rose from the bed, put on the long top Bucky had thrown to the floor. Her feet scooted across the wood floor carrying her out of the room and down the hall. She peaked into Azie’s room, her eyes automatically fell to the small mound in the bed, the dark hair wrapped tight in a blue scarf sticking out the top of the blanket. Azie was safe, Awenha reminded herself, they were back home now.

Her eyes shifted to the other side of the room whereby now Yuki had provided her with a crib. She had dug it out of storage a few days ago and put it together despite Awenha’s rejections.

She wasn’t ready.

Awenha walked from the room and down the hall. The baby kicked and moved inside her so hard she had to pause mid-step to take the tiny jolt. 

Steve’s baby, no, _their_ baby was awake. The one thing that truly tied them together that she couldn’t ignore or run away from.

But she was far from him now, a continent and an ocean away shaded her from his attention. It should have brought comfort. The feeling of finally being free should have been the best moment had in the whole world.

But it was not.

Awenha walked to the kitchen pulled a cup from the shelf and poured in some water while her mind completely and utterly remembered and wondered about the super-soldier.

Not the one in the bed.

But the one who was currently tearing at her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :D


	5. Oranges and Apples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over heard conversations and choices!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: angst, cursing

It was a beautiful day. But of course it was always beautiful in Birin Zana. Bucky, for the first time in a week, walked with his head held high partially blasted with the light of the bright afternoon sun. As a consequence of the angle he walked with in shadows, pale faced and half hidden in the gray of the shade looking more out of place than he preferred. The city bustled with an influx of Wakandans from all over. The noise of the street somehow muffled in his ears and quieted the chatter of his mind.

Rested breaths roared instead and became sharper as he neared the laboratories. Men weighed down with bags of produce passed in front of him as he continued. But it was the women and children that sent his heart racing. He didn’t understand, he couldn’t quite get a grip on what it was exactly that was pursuing his peace but it was shaking him up.

He picked up the pace. The thud of boots on soft clay dirt seemed louder too. His light but haunted eyes glanced up at the building seemingly carved out of the rock itself in the distance. Bucky focused on that, his destination and also it anchored him in the world on the busy streets.

It was safe to say that for Bucky that inner peace he was searching for and thought he had found was falling away. Piece by noisy piece. The stability of his place in Awenha’s life was shattering before his eyes.

Azie. The little girl, his daughter had grown up without him.

He had almost convinced himself that it wasn’t his fault. Not this time. But even so, he couldn’t escape the prickly feeling of not knowing his daughter.

Bucky crossed another street, his eyes lifted to the spire, it was close. His eyes darted to a woman selling hot food, the smell both sweet and bitter reminded him a bit of the aftermath of exploded ordinates. So he looked away and thought of Awenha.

He worried for Awenha. With Steve gone, it was her ability to push through that hung in his thoughts the most. When she looked at him, if she felt ambitious enough to look him in the eye, there was an echo in her. A small little hurt that was sneaking up on her faster than she let on. But he could see it. Bucky figured it was shell shock, the thousand yard stare that battle brought on. Like recognizes like. And so he knew from the tremble in her hand, the wild fits in sleep that the last few days were hard for her.

And while she did look better this morning the lasting image of her head hovering over the toilet was not to be forgotten easily. Bucky did his best to comfort her, in his own way. With a cool wet cloth precariously stuffed through the bathroom door toward her hunched over figure near the sink.

He couldn’t take the sick and the pain that Steve had wrought. But he wouldn’t leave her either.

Fuck Steve. And fuck his plan, thought Bucky as his eyes once again glanced up at the gold and silver tower.

And then as he grew close to the door to the building that held Wakanda’s largest engineering lab he remembered her voice. The sliver of affection as she slept that struck at his heart as he listened. Awenha had whispered Steve’s name as she slept. No, she _moaned_ his name. And as quick as it happened before Bucky could really take it all in her voice lifted through sleep to say his name too.

Maybe there was room in her heart for the both of them. As choppy of a situation as it were Bucky could also imagine a time where all of this was behind them and they could just be. The three of them.

Security was stronger in building than what Bucky remembered. No longer cut off from the world they welcomed others to their city. Bucky half wondered if it was really necessary. By now the guards in the lab knew who he was but still insisted on having him walk through their scanners. He did it without provocation and moved on further into the building without hold up.

She had wanted to be here today. It was easier to work on hardware, to calculate rather than stipulating on her emotional gravitas. It was too much, all of it was so heavy and this just felt easier. 

Awenha delicately placed the circular metal slat atop of the revolving magnetic pole. No taller than a donut but far more powerful than a thousand batteries she initiated the program. A blue glow grew from the center of slat as it spun slowly it became engulfed in the static vibranium fibers.

“The part is ready.” she said quietly to Shuri who was turned watching the read out on the screen.

“I see it. Take the spanner, poke it.”

Awenha turned her head toward her younger cousin. “Are you serious? I just got this fixed.”

“We’ll make another. This is amazing, let’s see how much it can take before fails.”

Awenha shrugged and walked away toward the blast wall. Behind it, her fingers flew over the control panel as she observed a thin string of silver descended from above the table of the object. It cracked with power along the thin skin, it hissed with electricity the closer it grew to the dial she had placed there.

“You adjusted the amount?” asked Shuri quickly as she walked near Awenha and stared out of the clear blast proof glass.

“Yes.” Replied Awenha.

“This is going to be loud.”

Awenha smiled at Shuri curiously watching the young woman who stood there with wide determined eyes.

Awenha made the final calculations and initiated the completed commands.

“Let’s hope so.” She chuckled and waited.

“Shuri,” called Ramonda’s sing song voice from behind them.

Both Awenha and Shuri whipped around fast and at the same time the loudest sound either one of them had heard today exploded from the other side of the blast wall. Three of the four Dora Milaje ducked to protect Ramonda the other raised their weapons. The ceiling cracked, dust poured over them as Awenha shielded her head while Shuri turned and quickly began to translate the information into the computer.

The sound dissipated with another shudder but Ramonda’s voice rose far above any more aftershocks of the experiment.

“Shuri! Awenha!” she shouted and rushed through the guards to the women at the panel.

Awenha was still turned toward Ramonda and bore most of the hard glare.

“You’re pregnant! What is this?” she turned to Shuri, her back was turned with her eyes locked on the panel.

“Sorry Mother!” Shuri glanced at Awenha who was covered in white cracked paint. “But Awenha added too much.” She winked and Awenha gaped and turned back to Ramonda speechless.

“No!” Ramonda walked to the side of Shuri. “No. This has your name all over it.”

“It can be fixed.” Said Shuri lightly and leaned over past her mother and input another round of calculation.

“Ah! We did it!” she said excited and turned back to Awenha. “It was perfectly weighted and completely capable of holding that much energy. You’ve done it, cousin! Look!” Shuri pointed at the window. Beyond it sat the small ring, it simply hovered in the air in a dark burned spot where the table had been.

“Okay. Enough Shuri.” Butted in Ramonda and turned to Awenha as she spoke. “I came to invite you to lunch.”

“I wanted to say and finish-“ she began.

Close to a once again shouting Ramonda silenced her rebuttal in a single stern glare. Awenha shook the flakes out of her hair and began to twist the heavy strands into a loose bun at the base of her neck. Without speaking she turned from Ramonda toward another slick panel at the back of the lab. She strode to it quickly as Ramonda followed behind with light steps.

“D’Kowe has petitioned the medical council on behalf of his mother.” said Ramonda.

At the drop of his name Awenha turned. “About?” she asked. Though not entirely worried on D’Kowe’s feelings she did however have concern for Urkean, his mother.

“Apparently all other treatments have been exhausted.” said Ramonda who took a single step toward her as she continued. “The brain is still yet an uncharted region even with our advancements. He asked of the council for the same treatment used on the soldier to be applied to his mother.”

“I tried it.” Called Shuri, never bothering to turn around. “It doesn’t work.”

“Why?” asked Awenha now concerned that her invention failed.

“I have run multiple diagnostics. It appears that the halo only works with you, cousin.”

Awenha stared back at Ramonda. “I understand..” said Ramonda, quickly as she noticed Awenha’s incredulous glare. “As it only operates with you. The council has asked that you use it.”

Awenha bowed her head away from her aunt and focused on the back panel. She tried not to react too harshly. Her eyes swept over the read out ignoring the heat building in her chest.

“He isn’t allowed to enter my lab at all.” She finally spoke. “At all,” she repeated and stared at her aunt. “And I will go to her, where, he will not be allowed to observe in anyway.”

Ramonda nodded. “I will inform them.”

Awenha acknowledged her words with a curt nod of her own and turned back to the readouts. But Ramonda did not move, Awenha could see her aunt’s clasped hands draped over her fine clothes fidget.

“Is Sergeant Barnes in good health?” asked Ramonda.

There was silence in the room as the machine that initiated the reaction whirled down. Awenha stopped mid stroke of the panel and looked to her aunt once again. Concern lingered in her fine features but so did disappointment though it was thin around her mouth Awenha had to look away.

“He’s fine.” said Awenha as she knocked a few bits of white off her shoulder.

Ramonda glanced over her shoulder at Shuri and then moved in closer with a hushed tone in her voice. “And this other? This Captain Rogers. Do you intend to go to him?” she asked softly.

“Go to him?” Awenha repeated and turned toward her and fully. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“He’s outside the city,” said Ramonda.

Awenha stepped back, feeling more humiliated than worried by the moment she glanced over at Shuri and then back to Ramonda.

“You did not know?” said Ramonda. “He has been there for three weeks. He is living out of the aircraft.”

She could feel the blood in her ears pound. It warped the sound of Ramonda’s voice. Awenha looked away, she turned back toward the panel and held it lightly. Dark eyes glided over the read out in front of her. Seeing it but not really paying attention Awenha gave a vague sigh to whatever Ramonda was saying.

Ramonda’s warm hand touched Awenha’s shoulder lightly.

“I wish you would speak to me.” said Ramonda even softer. The lace in her voice, the quiet concern shifted Awenha’s attention back to her aunt.

“Drea would get so angry at me.” said Ramonda with a small smile. “You would tell me everything of your day. You would keep me there until I had heard every second of it.”

Ramonda was closer, her hand glided over the line of Awenha’s shoulder to the other in an open hug.

“We used to talk all the time. Please. Tell me what has you so frightened.” She asked.

Awenha’s eyes fell to the brocade of beading on her aunts beautiful gown. Shiny, like Steve’s eyes, the color deep purple like the bruises he would leave on her wrists. She closed her eyes and willed the images back to the pit of her mind.

“Wenha. How are you holding it all in?” asked Ramonda.

“I’m not.” Awenha struggled with words, she wandered through reasoning until she opened her eyes and stared at the floor.

“I’m coming apart.”

Awenha could not look Ramonda in the eyes. Instead she gazed at her own hands entwined brown fingers flecked with white from the cracked paint of the ceiling. Her mind journeyed far away from the lab to the man outside the city. Coldness set into her bones, a chill of uneasiness crawled up the skin of her arms. But she felt her aunt, warm and goodness embodied hug her more snuggly closer than she had ever done so before.

“Two men?” she whispered to Awenha. “The other was taken but now he is back. Is this weighing you down? Are you trying to decide where your loyalties lie?”

With Awenha’s continued silence Ramonda continued.

“Captain Rogers was the reason for your absence here. I do not have to say at length my disapproval of him because of this. I do not know the details of him and of you, but I worry that they will be worse rather than better for you.”

Awenha turned to her aunt who hushed at her reply.

“And the other is Azie’s father. From what I have seen he is certainly able to be this and a formidable partner to you. But this Captain,” she said solemnly. “He has been a father to Azie far longer than Sergeant Barnes.”

“Bucky is her father.” Interjected Awenha.

Ramonda huffed. “And Captain Rogers is this baby’s father. What are you going to do?”

Her aunt’s dark amber eyes shifted to the left of Awenha. It bristled against her anxiety, it made her alarmed that her aunt could so easily ignore her. “Ramonda-“ started Awenha but her aunt released her arms as her full attention was focused behind Awenha.

“Sergeant Barnes.” announced Ramonda warmly.

Bucky’s eyes moved from the back of Awenha’s curly head to Ramonda’s brilliant smooth features. And in a low, light voice he said, “Good afternoon ma’am.”

“Nice to see you Sergeant Barnes.” said Ramonda and looked once again at Awenha with a nod.

Ramonda lightly pecked her on the cheek before moving off toward Shuri. With her nerves rattled she turned back to the panel and quickly input the last of her calculations.

“Hey Bucky.” She said and glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

“I brought lunch.” said Bucky and held up a pale blue cloth bag but she did not look.

“Your favorites. Something sweet, something a little spicy.”

Awenha turned her eyes and stared at the bag and then slowly moved up to his face. Angled features rested as he gazed at her hopefully. A tight grin greeted her as he lightly shook the bag for her to follow.

“Okay, alright.” She chuckled, and walked away from the panel.

Bucky’s metal hand held hers, he gave one last look at Ramonda and Shuri before walking around Awenha and escorted her out of the room.

* * *

Awenha grabbed the pitcher of orange juice from the small cooler in the kitchen. Bucky sat on top of the counter, legs spread, arms on his knees watching her awkward gait to the counter across from him.

He didn’t like oranges every much. He liked apples, tasted like sweet sandy goodness and never got stuck in his teeth like pulp and pith. So they never had an orange in the house. But he did know who did love it. Steve.

Bucky felt the coil of panic in his gut twist but it offset the resentment pushing its way around in his head. His eyes moved to Azie, now running in with precious pigtails bouncing her hazel eyes wide as she began to talk toward Awenha.

“I want chocolate ice cream.” She announced.

Awenha barely registered their daughter’s voice so Bucky perked up, he sat up a bit and smiled down at Azie. “Just plain chocolate?” he asked.

Azie turned to Bucky and walked to the counter. She tapped her small fingers on the slick surface while regarding her father.

“Uncle Steve would always bring us ice cream on Friday.” Bucky’s smile faded. “It’s Friday.” said Azie with a smile.

“Well sometimes traditions change.” Bucky chimed in. “Maybe we could try something else like-“

“Uncle Steve said that’s the best in the world.” Bucky hopped off the counter and listened to Azie. “Are you going to get?”

Bucky glanced over at Awenha. She had stopped pouring her glass of juice and patiently observed.

Azie stomped, childish but she was a child and Bucky didn’t let it blow his cool. “Probably not sugar.” said Bucky as he turned back to her.

“Then ask Steve. Where is he?”

Bucky’s hand was suddenly damp and he tried to keep a straight face at the mention of Steve again. He didn’t want to sound harsh but it came out like that anyway. “He’s gone.”

Azie stepped away from the counter and put her hands to her hips. “Why?”

Bucky chuckled, watching Azie he saw a glimpse of the future her in the little attitude she was cultivating. “It’s just something that happens,” he said.

“Like you leaving?” she said, her voice small. “That just happened too. Is Steve alive?”

The chuckle fell flat in his throat.

“Why is everybody always leaving?” said Azie, her voice cracked.

“Whoa, whoa.” hushed Bucky softly, he knelt in front of her and held her hands with his own. “Don’t snap your cap, no one is going anywhere.”

He tugged on one of her tails with a smile covering his worried expression, in an attempt to distract her. “We’re all here, Winnie. And I’m sure we can find some damn great ice cream around here. Okay?”

“Damn great?”

Awenha made a disapproving noise behind Bucky.

“Some _fantastic_ ice cream, say that.” Bucky corrected.

Azie considered him for a few fleeting seconds before she smiled.

“Fantastic ice cream,” she repeated.

“Okay, so go finish that last chapter. I’ll come get you.” Said Bucky as he stood.

Azie threw her arms around his waist and squeezed hard. Bucky yelped when her hands scratched and tickled at his ribs. It was the first time she had tried to do that again. Bucky remembered a feisty 1 ½ year old imitating her own version of a tickle. But this Azie, bigger but still funny as his memories pulled forward tried her best too.

“Alright alright scratchy.”Bucky swung her around gently by the shoulders and pushed her out the kitchen. “I’ll be there, so read.”

Azie ran around the counter, through the living room and then hooked a right down the hall. Just the sounds of her thumping footfalls lingered of her.

“She’s going to be saying damn for weeks.” said Awenha behind him.

“And Steve’s name.” added Bucky.

He turned around in time to see her shut down. She leaned back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest, distant dark eyes seeing him but not emoting.

“I heard some of what Ramonda had to say.” Bucky took a few steps toward her still waiting for her to react. So he closed the gap and got real close. “So what are you going to do?” he asked.

Awenha nodded as her eyes fell to his chest but Bucky tucked a finger under her chin bringing her eyes back to him before folding his hand back into his pocket.

She didn’t answer but he could see her thinking hard about the answer as she gazed back at him. “Do you think you could live in peace with him?” he encouraged.

Awenha hesitated, slightly taken aback by Bucky’s question. “Steve wants to rule over me.” she said softly.

Bucky tilted his head back and stared her down. “He’s dedicated. To a fault sometimes…”

Awenha’s heart jumped. “You defend him?”

“I understand him,” said Bucky darkly.

Awenha’s frame tightened as she slowly shook her head. “You didn’t do what he did.”

Bucky’s metal hand caught the edge of the counter near her as he leaned in.

“I wasn’t good either. I’m still not. But I’m willing to work on it. Maybe so is he.”

Her stomach dropped around the same time she turned her head from Bucky’s concerned expression. He was honest at least. No matter the circumstances between them for now he was capable of telling the truth. Even if it was strange, if not altogether off putting all.

Bucky’s voice broke through her thoughts. “Do you love him?” he asked.

Silence fell between them again. Bucky’s eyes noted the increase in her breathing. He brought his hand out of his pocket and caressed her cheek with the back of it.

“I thought I did.” She said and looked up at him. “Or I could have. I’m not sure anymore.” she admitted and felt better in doing so.

“Do you miss him?”

“Yes.” she said, honestly.

“What do you miss?”

 _His hands, his lips_ she wanted to say but thought better of it. Bucky continued to regard her in a cool flat expression with narrowed eyes. 

“I miss how concerned he was about us. In the beginning he was assertive but not overly pushy. He was just there and didn’t mind letting me tell him how I felt. It was a refuge I missed deeply with you after the blip.” She began, though her eyes chanced a glance back to Bucky and still he hadn’t reacted. He listened.

“But he drugged me.” He leaned and pressed his lips to her temple as she spoke. “Bucky he hurt me and I am missing this beast?” Awenha rubbed her mouth pulling it into a grimace. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked to the air.

“I’ve been at this level of fear for so long that now that it’s gone, I _miss_ it. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. Not with you, and not with Steve.”

“You felt that with me?” he asked.

Awenha stepped from the counter and Bucky as she slowly walked to the other side of the kitchen that gave way to the dining area. Her eyes fell to the cushioned cubby near the window and remembered her first night with Bucky. Though soon memories of Steve, his desperate hands the possessive nature of his actions reminded of a time before he changed. Or was he always so lost?

“Yes I felt that. You were a scary guy Bucky. It took time and now I feel free with you. Steve was a cage.”

Bucky shadowed her steps behind her. “And now?”

“I want him back but not because I want that pain. I want his security back, his warmth. And I feel like if I never see him again it won’t be over. I need my say, my voice again.”

There it was, Bucky thought, an opening and perhaps an ending to this new stress. He stepped behind her watching the mellow sunlight dance through her hair.

“He wants to live here,” said Bucky near her ear. “He wants us to share you.”

Awenha turned quickly back to him expecting a joking smile but all she found was sincerity. “Do you want that?” she asked.

“I’ve been alive longer than I would have imagined. Giant men to magic stones, I saw aliens, Awenha.”

Bucky’s eyes now powdery-blue in light shifted toward the window seal in thought. “Sharing you with Steve? It should bother me more but it doesn’t. I think the better question is do _you_ want it?”

He turned his focus back on her. The intense peaked interest of his expression worried her but not enough to look away. Even if she wanted to step away, give herself space Bucky was there with his hands holding her shoulders as he spoke.

“Do you understand what that means? I can’t half love you and neither can he. I want all of you and so does he. You will have all of us. Do _you_ want to be ours?”

Bucky’s hands glided over her collar bone to her neck, gently he kneaded the nape of her neck while the other grazed her cheek.

“Both of us loving the same woman is different than having her. My life stopped being normal the moment I fell into Hydra’s hands. But you make it feel normal, you make me feel loved. I want to do that for you too. And it has to be your choice.”

“So he comes here, we live together? And if he doesn’t listen?” she asked.

“I’ll kill him.” He said it quick and without much feeling.

“What.”

A grin cracked his lips and then a deep chuckle erupted. “I’m joking.” He said and cupped her face in his hands.

“Are you?” she asked not so amused.

“I could be.” He smiled.

“So do you want us?” he asked, the beautiful smile faded from his face.

Unsure if Steve could be controlled she said the first word that sprang into her mind. “Maybe.”

“Yes or no.” he asked sharply.

She thought of the baby. “Yes.”

Bucky’s hands dropped to his pockets. “I’ll go tell him.”

He started to move away from her but the beat of her heart quickened the further he walked away. “Wait.” said Awenha and quickly caught up to Bucky in the short distance. “I’ll do it.”

T’Challa’s words, his kingly promise to support her decision kept her from allowing Bucky to do it. She would have to face Steve herself. Though not alone this time.

“I’ll go to him. I want to talk to him first.” she said.


	6. Thickets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: angst

Awenha reached between the sleek metal console and held Bucky’s warm hand. Dark brown eyes stayed facing forward taking in the plains dissolving into the tall trees stretching for a blush colored sky.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Her other hand rested on the top of her belly.

“Yes. I’m just not sure what I’ll find.”

Bucky took his eyes off the dirt road for a moment and glanced over at her. She was still staring out of the window and did not meet his eyes.

“Listen,” started Bucky, and Awenha turned to him. “You don’t have to go alone.”

Bucky concentrated back on the path before them. Awenha took in the softness around his eyes, even after years of hardship he hadn’t lost it. His tongue licked his bottom lip, he shifted a bit and peeked out of the corner of his eyes, feeling her leaning stare.

Awenha squeezed his hand.

“I’m not alone.”

Bucky nodded. She was right. He was sure T’Challa had his eyes panned over them through technology at this very moment. And of course his guards, which they passed by as they entered the beginning of the border. And he was here. Once again, Bucky glanced out of the corner of his eye at her surprisingly relaxed posture. He slowed down with every rough incline and avoided overgrowth. The vehicle snaked around a curve and plunged deeper into the border forest. And the closer they traveled to the jet, toward Steve, the more his stomach felt like it was being pulled sideways.

He gripped the wheel tighter.

A few more minutes and they were parked where the path bottle necked into a few trails. Awenha’s eyes lingered on the moist leaves of the nearest tree as she exited. The shin length boots she wore bogged in the decaying leaves and dark soil when she stepped. Her neck stretched back taking in the evening light dancing off the dampness. She had never been to this area of Wakanda before. Awenha observed the wild life slithering, chirping and running away from their presence.

The sun was setting, golden light tainted with crimson shot through the canopy. Awenha seemed indifferent to the effect as Bucky rounded the vehicle. She stood there swaddled in light, her skin glowing hair funneling the rays like the unearthly being he thought of her as. She straightened the bright top around her stomach. Bucky stood and simply enjoyed the subtle beauty of her.

Drawn to her, Bucky walked closer watching her take a deep breath of fresh air as her eyes panned from the trees to him.

“The jet is few feet over there.” He said hooking a metal thumb over his shoulder.

Awenha looked passed him at the dense trees and ferns beyond the path.

Bucky held out his hand to her and without hesitation Awenha placed hers within his.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

Her eyes rose to his as the light washed out the color to gray. Bucky squinted and moved from the shine, his eyes traveled down to her stomach and back to face.

She nodded and then timidly moved forward into his arms. Awenha wrapped her arms around Bucky’s neck as he leaned into her enveloping her back within his strong hold.

“You afraid?” he whispered into her ear.

Bucky’s hands caressed from her lower back to her shoulder blades. “I’m here. He’s not-“

“With Steve, I don’t care about the fear.” She said quietly.

Awenha pulled back to Bucky’s face, she lightly stroked down the stubble of his jaw admiring the few pricks of gray.

“I’m afraid of losing you.” said Awenha as her eyes met his, her hand moved to rest over his heart. “This is insane right? God, we’ve come so far but-“

“We choose.” said Bucky with a steady voice.

Awenha stopped speaking. Those few words, their vow to one another seemed a life-time ago came tumbling back. Her heart beat faster with the memory of committing their lives to each other. And then solemnly she began to reconsider Steve. However, breaking down Steve would not be easy. But if Steve wanted her—this family, thought Awenha, he would have to earn his way.

“We get to choose our family.” she repeated.

Bucky’s metal hand gently held her wrist as the other curved under her jaw.

“You’re still in my dreams,” said Bucky, as he leaned in his lips grazed the side of her mouth. “Nearly every night I see you there. I’m not going anywhere. You’re part of me.”

Bucky kissed her lips embodying longing in a single peck. “Do you understand?” he asked.

“There’s nothing in this world or whatever comes next that will keep me from you.”

She stared into his eyes. “But it did.” she said.

“I was there though.” Bucky’s hand moved from her jaw to the nape of her warm neck. Underneath the curtain of thick curls he caressed her skin there. “I wasn’t too far away from your thoughts?”

“Never.” She shook her head.

“Then I was there.” Said Bucky and drew her deeper into his embrace.

“And I’m here now.”

Awenha walked through the lush green of the border forest. Surprisingly light on her feet and just as steady in her soul she strode passed the guards posting sentry. Within a few more steps the trees thinned out to shrubs she came upon a clearing and in the small bushy area sat the quinjet. The back end was open, she heard nothing coming from the air craft nor saw any evidence that Steve was near.

She paused just upon the edge of the green grass. Warmth at her side she turned and there stood Bucky. A serious expression settled on his face as his eyes swept the immediate area.

“I’ll be right here,” said Bucky as he turned his focus upon her.

“I know.” She attempted a tight smile back as she spoke.

Awenha stepped into the clearing. Light blue skies had faded to darkness leaving her in the cover of shadow. From the rear of the jet pale white light shone down the ramp and onto the black mud. She stood at the base and looked up into the interior. A cot lay open with a thin blanket spread across it with sheets of white papers scattered upon it. A single light on the opposite side of the cot was on, but it was enough to see most of the ship within. There was no Steve.

Her eyes searched the area beyond the ramp into the trees. She heard nothing, saw very little in the darkness and began up the ramp.

Inside the jet it appeared lived in. Military cutlery sat near the cot all washed and clean. But soon her focus fixed on the sheets of paper. Awenha’s eyes widened as she stared at the drawings. Faces, some she recognized as her own and a few unknown gazed back at her. Her eyes moved with her step along the length of the cot.

She stopped suddenly when a date scribbled at the top of a sheet caught her attention. It was Azie’s birthday. It was the day she turned three, and the day that Steve had joined them on the roof of her family home in Harlem.

Awenha plucked the thick sheet from underneath a graphite pencil. It was her. Smiling, eyes sad but within them Steve had somehow imprinted hope too. And yet it was drawn so intimately. With darker strokes on her eyes, her mouth, her hair. Within her lap sat Azie with the stuffed dog Steve had given her. And there were others around it…versions of her smiling, holding Azie. It was the drawing he wouldn’t let her see. The drawing before he had devolved into the man she knew now.

Gently, she ran her fingers over the outline of Azie’s face.

“That’s one of my favorite days.”

Awenha startled to the left with the paper still in her hands to see Steve standing at the opening of the jet. He was shirtless, his combat pants hung low at his hips and he took a step closer with muddy thick boots.

His hair now longer than she had ever seen it was clinging to the sides of his cheeks and long beard. Steve wiped off his face, ran a hand through his dark blond strands pushing them from his brow.

He looked down at his naked chest. “Sorry. I washed off in the nearby river.” he muttered.

Awenha turned watching him unravel the fabric in his hands, a shirt, and pulled it over his head. With a sigh, she placed the sheet where it was found. She felt the pull to him. Whatever bonds created and passed between them was still there. It would always be she suspected, always there with the sense of unease to the point that it shocked her when it arose. And she tried to not let it surprise her, dared herself for once not to react. But for once, take back some control and observe. Awenha looked back at him as he finished rolling the shirt down his torso.

“I don’t deserve you.” said Steve.

Awenha clasped her hands beneath the swell of her stomach and listened. Choosing not to speak, but take note was the only power she felt that was solid at the moment. So she stood there, Steve drawing closer toward her with each step, and reminded herself that she was not alone.

“You were right…about me.” Said Steve with both his hands held out to his sides, palms open in an act of concession. “What I did. I hurt you.” He continued.

Steve was now at the end of the cot, Awenha near the middle. His eyes floated down her frame to her stomach.

“Say something…” he encouraged and took another step closer.

Awenha said nothing. Instead she stared at what time had done to his appearance--his hair, the strands of his beard. But his eyes had not changed. Blue as ever, though dark in the little light the small lamp offered reminded her of his grip.

“This last month gave me a chance to think.” said Steve as he shuffled the last few inches nearer until he was face to face with her. “It was an opportunity to really think about what you went through, with me. I knew what I was doing.”

She watched a drop of water slide from his hairline down his cheek until it disappeared into his thick beard. Steve’s brows pulled together with her continued silence.

“I would understand if you never wanted to see me again.” The pitch of his voice dropped as his hand moved to touch her shoulder. But Awenha stepped away to the other side of the ship.

“I’m here aren’t I?” she snapped at him over her shoulder.

Awenha could hear movement behind her, the rush of footfalls and turned quickly to see Steve following close behind her. He didn’t quail under the look she gave him. Nor did it stop him from crowding her.

Steve halted in front of her. “Ya, but it’s because Bucky told you to come.” he said hopelessly.

“No, he didn’t.” she said looking bitter. Awenha stepped away again, though the space was small she could only put but a few feet between them.

“You shouldn’t want me!” Steve shouted at Awenha as he rounded on her again. Alarmed at his tone she whipped around to find him yet again close. “You’re afraid remember? That night when I came to stop you from leaving. I asked if you were scared of me.”

“I am!” she yelled back in his face. Silence followed as Steve stared at her, his eyes caught the tremble of her hands and the wandering fear and courage ping-pong’ing in her eyes.

“And now what?” He asked, eyes narrowed down at her. Awenha’s lips parted, dark eyes widened as he continued. “You’re here. What, you’re brave now? Worried about me?” he chided.

Awenha’s eyes moved from his sun-kissed face to the opening of the jet behind Steve. She wanted to run, she had thought about it from the moment she saw him on the ramp. But her eyes moved back to his defiantly.

“Don’t tell me what I’m supposed to feel or how to react.” she cautioned quietly.

“So you forgive me?” he huffed.

“I don’t!” Awenha’s voice exploded from her lips as she spoke. “I don’t forgive you! And stop trying to get into my head!” she screeched.

She took in a shaky breath.

“I just need you. Isn’t that enough for you?” Awenha hissed harshly. Steve took a step back, his eyes moved over her like he was seeing her for the first time.

“If you want this-this compromise?” she said with a glare in her eyes and stepped up to him. “If you really want to be with me. Then that has to be enough. Or I can leave. And don’t think about trying to keep me-“

“I wasn’t.” he said softly.

“Bucky knows I’m here, T’Challa knows.” She warned.

Steve leaned in, grabbed her jaws and smashed a crushing kiss across her lips. Awenha immediately returned it, fleeting seconds passed as she fell back into the pressure of his love. His misguided, over the top emotions came declaring that she was his. And as her fingers scraped from his wrists to his face she remembered the disappointment. Her hands caressed his beard and pushed on his face breaking the kiss with a gasp. She yanked her face out of his hands, stepped back and slapped him across the cheek and jaw.

Steve’s head didn’t move, just a blink of his eyes and he was staring back at her.

“I –“Awenha mumbled after but the words dissolved in her throat.

He rubbed his jaw, stretched his mouth into an ‘o’ appreciating the sting she left behind. Steve stood still as Awenha walked around him. Still nursing the smack, he tracked her from the corner of his eye unnaturally calm until he turned to watch the back of her head.

Awenha stopped at the end of the cot and turned her head to the side as she spoke. “We can start over,” she began. “But there will be none of that.”

She walked through the ship until she reached the edge of the ramp. Awenha turned completely back toward Steve still standing there looking wild eyed.

“So are you coming or not?” Awenha asked.

Steve slowly nodded and followed.

* * *

“Yuki is in the house with Azie.” Awenha sat up in the seat and turned toward Steve sitting behind Bucky. “I’m going in first.” She said and looked to Bucky. “Wait, ten minutes okay, then bring him in.”

Bucky leaned over across the console and kissed Awenha on the cheek. “I will, doll.”

Awenha’s own purpose took hold in the fleeting moments of nerves pushing around in her spirit. She nodded and exited the vehicle.

Bucky’s eyes stared after her figure as she walked the path up to the front door. As soon as she disappeared into the house his eyes flicked up to the rear view mirror to find Steve already staring at him.

“Took you long enough.” said Steve.

Bucky squared his eyes at Steve. “You wouldn’t be here without me.” His eyes dropped to a small woman leaving their home. “Remember that.” he said and stepped out of the vehicle.

Steve followed Bucky up the path to the front door. Through the vines falling from trees, the damp tall green grass licking the sides of his boots, he immediately felt at home. It was quiet, late in the evening here was drastically different than in the now populated New York City. The curved stone path twisted around a large tree and he was reminded of Central Park in the Spring. Steve gazed at the window, now illuminated from within, he could see Awenha’s shadow pass by. Followed close behind it was another, shorter with puffy hair—Azie.

Bucky stepped up to the front door as soon as he opened it Azie’s voice tore Steve out of his reverie.

“Dad!” she bellowed, her steps bounded toward Bucky just as he entered. He scooped her up into his arms as he walked fully into the sitting room.

When Steve followed him in he watched as Azie hugged Bucky tightly around the neck. As he spun around, Steve saw her face. Hazel eyes opened slowly and then widened when she saw Steve standing near the front door.

“Steve!” she shrieked and held out her hand that was around Bucky.

“There’s my girl!” said Steve with a smile and stepped into the room.

Bucky put Azie down before her feet even touched the floor she was already beginning to run toward Steve. Bucky’s eyes stared at the back of her bouncing curls as she ran toward Steve with arms open.

“Steve!” Azie’s voice broke slightly when she nestled against Steve’s neck.

He squeezed her tightly, shut his eyes and swung her around in his arms. “It’s okay.”

Azie began to sniffle. Steve’s eyes opened momentarily he gazed at Bucky before looking to Awenha who appeared distraught. She began to walk forward, but stopped her eyes slid to Bucky unsure of his reaction before concentrating back on Steve and Azie.

Bucky stepped back into the kitchen, turning his back on the reunion unfolding before his eyes. He tried not to care. He attempted to not let it knock his self-esteem further down than it already was. But as he turned back and leaned against the counter taking in the scene pain inched its way into his chest.

  
  



	7. Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: angst

Bucky said little as he folded cheese and butter between two pieces of bread within a thin light material. He was packing a lunch for his break at noon from working with the Merchant Tribe once again. And not a moment too late either. It had been a week since Steve joined their home. Awenha was a bundle of nerves. She was up late and early to rise, however, her movements only increased the tension in the house. With Azie, she had said it was preparing. Bucky considered it a tornado.

He had told himself that it was good work. Being out in the fresh air, getting a chance to learn the local languages. But honestly it was an out. A welcomed break from Steve’s roving eyes, his charm, and his outright over reaching ever ready to be a father to his daughter.

Awenha waddled into the kitchen rubbing her face. From the brightness of the kitchen she squinted her eyes as she spoke.

“I’m going to the market today. Do you want anything?” she asked sleepily and came around the freestanding counter to his side.

Bucky placed the wrapped lunch into a small pack and shook his head slightly.

“Bucky…” her hand rested on his upper arm. “Why don’t you come to the lab with me today? You don’t _have_ to work with the goats.”

“I like working with them.” He said without looking at her and moved away to the small fridge in the cabinet.

“But you liked coming to the lab-“

Bucky slammed the door of the fridge rattling the dishes in the next shelf. Awenha stayed near the counter watching him turn around, his jaw muscles flexing as he returned.

“Whatever this is-“

“What?” he snapped and finally looked her in the eyes.

Awenha stepped closer to his shoulder her round stomach grazed his hip as she melted her body into his side.

Concerned with his mood Awenha’s hand tentatively stroked his arm hoping to calm him. But it did not, Bucky’s eyes stayed hard, brilliant blue orbs stared at her.

“I need you here. Azie-“

“She has Steve.” He admitted, though not wholly believing his own words it slipped out more to hurt her.

“Stop.” She hissed, squeezed his arm a bit. “What’s wrong with you? I thought you said this situation with Steve could work? But you’re pulling away from me—from Azie.”

Bucky blinked and turned his head forward, he gazed beyond the open counter to the sitting room. His expression softened the longer he stared. Feeling the weight of her loneliness, her devotion Bucky tried to focus on the carefully crafted painting in the other room. Maybe if he didn’t look at her it would be easier to muddle through the melancholy alone. Awenha’s hand moved from his arm to his chin drawing his attention back to her though.

“This can’t work without you.” she said, her eyes blazed. “Is there something you aren’t saying? Has Steve said something to you?” she asked sounding distressed.

Bucky wanted to say a whole string of thoughts that formed rapid-fire and sat on the tip of his tongue. _I can’t stand looking at him. I wished he was dead. But I don’t mean it. I miss my friend, I wish things were different_ . _I wish my daughter remembered me better._

“No.” Bucky shook his head slightly. “I’m trying—it’s not enough. I know it’s not enough with Azie.”

“You’re enough, Bucky. I promise, spend time with her. She loves you. And most importantly, she knows who her father is.”

Bucky leaned in and kissed Awenha. A short, loving peck before he grabbed up his pack, hitched it over his shoulder without another word.

Awenha gazed after him as he walked through the living space toward the door. He opened it and then paused. Bucky looked over his shoulder and nodded. Awenha weakly smiled back, her hand raised in the air as her fingers waved good-bye. Bucky strode out of the door and shut it behind him.

* * *

“Where have you been?” asked Steve before he took a long drink from his water bottle. He was hardly out of breath but sweat slid through his beard joined the gray ring of wet around the collar of his shirt. The humidity didn’t agree with him. But Awenha couldn’t take her eyes off the effect of Steve ripe from a long hike, shirt clinging to the clefts of his abs, the shirt stretched tight across his wide chest.

Awenha shrugged as she walked through the yard. “I walked Azie to school.” she said passing Steve on her way into the house.

He caught up and strode next to her. Steve cut his eyes down to her cleavage, achingly exposed at the edge of a thin lavender blouse that haphazardly floated over her breasts. Decidedly well placed, thought Steve as he further gazed at her stomach. Gone were the deep curves replaced by a mother’s body, a woman almost done growing a life within. A consequence of him and her. As usual she was beautiful. Black and honey curls, shiny in the sun, brown skin absorbing the light and glowing like the beacon he had always imagined her as.

Awenha walked up the steps to the porch, Steve instinctively held her forearm nearest to him as she struggled with the last large step up. Awenha turned and looked at the hold he had when they reached the top. He hadn’t let go, his hand glided down her arm to her hand. Slowly, as he stared at her skin he brought it up to his lips. Steve’s eyes flicked up to her when he placed a kiss atop.

“Where are you going to now?” he asked and released her hand.

He observed the shy lowering of her eyes off and away from his heavy gaze. Steve smiled within. And suddenly as if she were back to business, she cleared her throat and passively looked back at him before she spoke.

“I’m going to the market. Do you want to join me?” she asked, seemingly unfazed by the previous interaction.

“Ya, of course. Let’s go.” He smiled, Steve’s eyes lit up, he felt his chest swell with pride.

“I’ll get the bag. Wait here.”

When she turned to go retrieve the tote from within the home Steve allowed the smile to crawl into an open grin.

Awenha perused the fruits. Steve watched her judge the shape of apples, the firmness of tomatoes as he walked beside her. Periodically she would hand him some produce to place in one of the bags he held. Steve spent the time in between watching her to look around at the multicolored tents, the merchandise on display, and take in the smell of food in the air.

God, he felt so _comfortable_ here. Children ran unguarded near unbothered parents. Laughter, so much joy in simple actions. Nothing like the rest of the world. Steve surveyed a stall six tents away, donuts. Here? He thought, in the middle of the most advanced country on the planet? Steve grinned. Turned to Awenha to tell her he would be right back and walked toward the tall wooden and glass cart with a polite older woman behind it.

Steve eyed the large batch of white chocolate glazed donut holes. He was determined to make it Azie’s new favorite. Steve turned and looked over his shoulder to ensure that Awenha hadn’t traveled far. But she was nowhere near where he had left her.

The woman called back to him, Steve murmured how much he owed, passed over the currency and stuffed the paper bag into one of the totes swinging on his arm. He turned around, his head slowly moved as he scanned the crowd.

Further away than he could have predicted there she stood. On the outside of the market, her brows scrunched in tight, posture defensive with her hands drawn into fists. But he could not see who she was speaking to.

“I’ve commissioned this project.” D’Kowe persisted.

“I am working on it D’Kowe. But –“ she tried to explain.

D’Kowe swooped in close forcing Awenha to take a step back.

“I demand action immediately.” He stipulated. “You delay? Why? Because your mutt of a fetu-“

Awenha didn’t have time to react before Steve, who appeared out of nowhere, yanked D’Kowe by the neck and shoved him down to the dirt on his ass.

Quickly D’Kowe got to his feet fast. Eyes burning at Steve he did not approach again. He only stared down the man who had assaulted him with fury. Awenha stood shocked as D’Kowe shifted his furious gaze to her and then walked away leaving a trail of dirt bellowing off red robes.

Awenha grabbed Steve’s arm and rounded on him as the crowd began to disperse.

Her dark eyes looked at him disapprovingly. “Why did you do that?” she whispered harshly. “You could be exiled.”

Steve shook his hand in the direction D’Kowe had turn-tail and ran. “He’s disrespectful-“ Steve tried to reply but Awenha interrupted.

“He’s always been this Steve.” Her eyes moved to a few lingering gawkers before returning to Steve with a lowered voice. “I’ve given him little room to bring attention to me but this..T’Challa will have no choice but to step in. You’re a guest of the King.”

“I wasn’t going to stand there and let him do that Awenha.” Steve scoffed.

“And be kicked out?” she asked and the question held in the air for a few seconds as Steve reconsidered what he had just done. “You won’t be here for the birth if that happens.” she added.

The anger in his expression relaxed. “You want me there.”

Awenha dropped her eyes to the hold she had on Steve’s taut bicep, his hot skin slipped under her fingers as it glided down his arm.

“Yes.”

* * *

Azie shrugged when asked why she didn’t finish her sliced tomatoes. The little girl flashed a smile, high and tight at the corner of her lips. A carbon copy of Bucky’s mischievous-you forgive me-you know you love me smirk. Bucky had only seen the effects of it, and had yet to be on the receiving end until now.

“Can I go to H’Hrome’s now?” Azie’s bright eyes turned to Awenha who sat beside her.

Bucky leaned in, his metal hand floated in high from his plate. His eyes danced over her face as he whistled the wail of a plane falling from the sky. The crash landed on Azie’s plate as he poked at the tomatoes and moved them to his plate. “What’s at H’Hrome’s? You wanted to watch that movie with me remember?” he grunted and bit into one of the slices.

“Her mama made this pack! You wear it and inside of it you can float!”

Awenha looked at Bucky. “H’Hrome’s mother is an engineer and inventor.” She said and addressed Azie. “Okay. You can go but only for a few hours.”

Azie jumped up from her chair practically shaking with excitement. “Ay-ay!” tsked Awenha until Azie turned back around.

“No using. Do you understand?” Awenha narrowed her eyes at Azie.

Azie nodded quickly.

“I’ll be back for the movie dad!” she exclaimed and clabbered around the chair. Azie threw her arms around Bucky’s neck with a piece of tomato half hanging out of his mouth.

Steve sat near Bucky processing the interaction. He accepted it, not that he had a choice. Bucky was technically Azie’s father, and through no fault of his own Bucky had been absent. So he appreciated the mystical tendencies of children who wanted to love. The girl was no different. Steve imagined Azie, for years, lived on a rumpled and faded memory of Bucky.

Steve laid down his fork. He propped up his elbows on the edge of the table. He brought his loose fists to pursed lips while still watching the exchange of pleasantries between the three of them. Azie waved to Steve then blew a kiss at him before running through the kitchen on her way out the front door.

Awenha took a long sip from her cup. Steve watched her brown eyes pivot from Bucky to him.

“So who is this D’Kowe?” asked Steve.

Bucky swallowed what he was chewing, wiped his mouth and with a pointed gaze stared at Awenha. “Did he say something to you?” he asked, and then put down his fork.

“You knew about this guy?” Steve asked firmly, he pushed his plate to the side and crossed bulky arms on the table.

Steve could feel the cold shield around Bucky’s emotions go up the moment he asked. Bucky glanced at Awenha before answering.

“He’s been around.” Bucky trailed off, he sat up straighter and set his shoulders.

Steve tried hard to measure his anger in bursts instead of rage. He stared back at Bucky just as cool, just as calculated. Steve gritted his teeth, and leaned over the table leering at Bucky. “And you haven’t done anything about him?”

“Stop.” said Awenha, and for the first time since Harlem she reached for him. She put her hand over his round forearm, Steve’s eyes moved to her face.

“He’s a nobody.” said Awenha. “Whatever you’re thinking—it’s not worth it.”

The words rolled over her lips easily. He considered that they were most likely a rehearsed reaction to this asshole’s disrespect. Overly practiced words, she maybe even told Bucky more than a few times. Steve forgave her for the need to not make waves. Awenha was gentle where they were rough. But that wasn’t his way. And Bucky knew that better than most. Which would explain the all too knowing expression he stared at Steve with currently. D’Kowe had to go. Though at the moment Steve had no idea how, but he would have to navigate the labyrinth of Wakandan politics to do it.

To see D’Kowe brought to his knees? Yes—Steve thought with pleasure, would be more than worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	8. Conditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Royal Visitor!

Steve was ardent in his decisions, not hysterical. No matter how angry he appeared, he was in control. A leader can see beyond the core issues, he reminded himself. He wasn’t that little man anymore physically, but there were times like these where he felt external influences tested this control within. And Bucky knew that he was more than capable of seeing it to the end of a confrontation without so much as a raised voice. He was dedicated, probably to a fault. Which is why Steve was confused now, as Bucky got close, in Steve’s face. He spewed out the same ‘ _you gotta know when to walk away_ ’ speech of the past.

But his friend was fanatical and refused to sip the watered down self righteous ploy Steve was pouring out. Bucky’s cheeks were pink, his eyes little more than slits. Bucky wasn’t the same man either. He was losing his patience quickly, not like in the past where it seemed it was endless where Steve was concerned.

“God damnit—can’t you at least try to live here in peace. Why can’t you let it go. She wants to let it be.” said Bucky glaring at him.

He felt overwhelmed, resentful, disgusted as Steve scoffed and refused to stand down.

“You’re not serious?” Steve’s voice hung in the air.

Bucky eyed him, unsure how to proceed from Steve’s devastating confidence. Instead Bucky rubbed over his mouth to his stubbly chin as he walked away.

Despite the dark moods the room was flooded in light and color. Bucky stared at the dance of light on the walls from shimmering puddles of water outside the windows from the rain the night before. He crossed his arms over his chest as he considered Steve’s attitude as yet another hurdle to get over. And as his temper leveled out, it became a source to think from instead of reacting from. Steve was not wrong, he thought, but Bucky would be damned before letting him know that.

Like a true friend, Steve sensed Bucky’s shift in mood. Bucky’s lowered eyes slid slowly back and forth over the reflected light. Steve knows Bucky was thinking-- hard and decided to push the subject further.

“So we can’t touch him? You’re telling me there’s no way of preventing this piece of shit from even talking to her like that?”

Steve’s words seemed to refocus Bucky’s thoughts. The implication of taking the fight to D’Kowe instead of waiting appeared to be a better idea. One in which Bucky had thought upon for more time than he cared to admit.

“We can’t go around punching the citizen’s in the face Steve.” Bucky’s hands fell to his hips.

Steve scoffed, turned his head as he began to pace.

“This guy is spoiled. You know what I mean. He’s used to getting his way.” He plunged his hands into deep pockets as he continued. “Maybe violence isn’t the answer but he can’t be as clean as he appears, Buck. People like that think they are above the law.” said Steve.

Bucky’s expression sharpened with the dawn of an idea he had been nursing for far too long. His lids pulled in tight as he regarded Steve. “I’ve been looking into that –“

A loud knock at the front door drew both Bucky and Steve’s attention away. It wasn’t as if their unique family was the most popular in Birnin Zana. The only visitor to come was the close friend of Awenha.

Bucky broke off and strode across the sitting area to the front door. He opened it to the tall King dressed in dark robes with gold and silver design stood on the other side. T’Challa. Bucky stepped back, his loyal and faithful guards turned their backs to the door as the king stepped in.

Bucky glanced back at Steve as he shut the door. T’Challa’s graceful sway moved into the sitting room, his lively eyes were on the captain, his hands drawn behind his back as he addressed him.

“You have upset a very important member of the Merchant Tribe.”

It was wholly a statement, and certainly not a question.

Bucky joined them, though not far from the conversation he saw Steve simply nod to T’Challa.

Convinced he was right, Steve never looked from T’Challa. His voice was sharp as his eyes were focused. “I won’t let him speak to her that way.” said Steve.

T’Challa did not move, his eyes lingered on Steve’s face. True to formality, Bucky couldn’t read the King’s reaction.

“There are conditions upon your stay here.” announced T’Challa. “You know this fact.” He added.

Steve sighed, not because he was tired but he was growing irritated at the politics of the situation. Yes, every government had procedures they used to bring down hell or to retain power. But this, Awenha being disrespected without back up from her own family? Ridiculous. And worse he was getting blasted for standing up for her without support.

Steve’s voice grated as he spoke. “I only did what I thought was right.” said Steve. Bucky picked up on the slight urgency in his tone.

T’Challa pointed to the floor and stepped closer. “You are in my country, Captain. And you will be exceptionally restrained with your behavior.” He reminded.

“You’re right.” Steve agreed with a tight shrug. “So what have you done to shut him up?”

“Steve.” interjected Bucky, shifting from his far position to come closer.

“What makes you think I have not?” said T’Challa, lifting his chin. “D’Kowe has insulted a notable member of my tribe. He is paying for his insolence. This meeting is for you.”

The air in the room stifled. T’Challa walked from Steve and Bucky toward the cushioned couch and sat.

“I think we are behind on a few conversations, Captain. Sit.” Ordered T’Challa holding is hand out to the separate chair to his right.

Steve felt his stomach drop into his gut and reluctantly he joined him. He sat down at the edge of the chair, even after all these years he was still not comfortable with such soft fabrics but he sunk in to it anyway. He let the discomfort of luxury distract him from the stinging words he awaited from T’Challa.

“Let us talk about your lies, Captain. Are you ready for the conversation about my cousin? Because I want to know, exactly, what you were thinking in keeping her from Wakanda. And I want to know why she returned in such a state that she could barely leave her home?”

Bucky’s brows arched high into his hairline, his eyes bounced from T’Challa to Steve.

“I’m not going to tell you anything, it’s between us,” said Steve. “That’s our relationship.” he reiterated.

T’Challa was so quiet, so still that when Bucky looked back at him expected to see a statue. But the King’s eyes never left Steve, even after Steve looked over at Bucky wearily. They blazed with knowing, dark brown imperious eyes continued to consider Steve as he finally spoke.

“Your demeanor does not sit well with me. And I tell you now, it will not go unchecked among my people and you will quickly find yourself removed.”

“I’m not here to upset your people.” Steve explained. “Or you, and your family.”

“Oh, but you have Captain.” said T’Challa. “We have yet to see the complete picture—but the pieces you have left behind have a voice.”

Steve stayed quiet.

“You will stay away from D’Kowe or you will be banned from Wakanda.” Abruptly, T’Challa stood, still staring down at Steve’s steely expression.

“The events that transpired between Awenha and you are important. Do not assume I will forget. But you are here at my request. The consequences of your behavior are my responsibility. And as a person of such importance in the world that it has inspired true humanitarian efforts across the globe for decades. There are people who look to you for confidence, duty, and honor. Act like it. Or you will find yourself beyond the border without your family.”

The King did not give Steve a chance to react. T’Challa glanced at Bucky, his eyes were still on fire with ominous warning and nodded to him. He walked from the two of them toward the front door. Bucky continued to watch T’Challa as he opened the door and turned to address him.

“The Queen will expect you at the family dinner—sooner is better than later.” He said, and then walked out.

* * *

Bucky and Azie walked hand in hand down the dirt road toward their home. It was the first time he had to accompany her. The school called while Awenha was in her lab so Bucky walked there and found Azie completely sullen when he arrived. And now, uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn, Bucky worried. He asked about her new project for the children’s science emporium, which should have boomed a smile across her face and lit up her eyes. But she had given half hearted answers.

He looked down at her, teeth tucking in her bottom lip, brown eyes turned a bit mossy green in the sun stayed straight on the path.

“What’s buggin’ you Winnie?” he asked quietly and squeezed her hand.

Her thick eyebrows scrunched together, she slowed down a bit as she walked and looked up at Bucky. A few of the beads at the ends of her braided pig-tails tinged together as she spoke.

“A kid at school called me an alien.”

Bucky laughed absentmindedly, he thought she was joking. But the expression on her face deepened.

“What? No..you’re not an alien.”

Azie’s grimace turned to glowering in a flash.

“She said that mama was an alien and that’s why no one will work with her. And that you and Steve are laboratory experiments—“ Azie started to breath hard. Bucky stopped walking and knelt down in front of her.

“She said that your arm could blow up the whole country because you’re crazy. She said that Captain America beats people! I tried to be her friend so she would stop. I asked to join her team and she said that alien’s shouldn’t need help and laughed at me.”

“Okay..okay.” hushed Bucky taking her hands within his. “You don’t have to befriend anyone who talks to you like that.”

Azie looked down, the rims of her lids glistened with unshed tears.

“Is that why you didn’t take the shuttle home today? It’s always your favorite part of the day.”

She nodded quietly to the ground. Bucky hooked a finger under her dimpled chin.

“You don’t owe them an explanation.” He said softly as matching shaped eyes met. “We’re different, but so are others. In time they will see they missed their chance to get to know a kick-ass kid like you.”

Azie smiled at her father’s language. Bucky grinned and drew her into a hug.

“Can I go to H’Hrome’s?” she mumbled into his scratchy neck.

He pulled her back. “Are you sure?”

She nodded. “We are in a team together.” She said with a sniffle.

“Now that’s a friend to have, right?” he asked. Azie nodded again as he wiped a tear away and nudged her nose with his knuckle.

“Just for a few okay?” he said.

Bucky stood, Azie took off at the intersection before the long stretch of road to their home. Rows of mud and brick homes lined the way, he counted each house she walked passed before stopping at the seventh. Another little girl ran out to the road to greet Azie with a wave. Bucky stayed until she was in the house before he continued to walk home.

He was surprised she didn’t hit the girl. Bucky reflected back on his own childhood. It seemed in those days he was always in a fight, especially where Steve was concerned. There was never a lack of standing up for him. Not that he blamed him though. He was happy to defend his friend, take care of him too if it met Steve would be okay. Even when he was caught peeping, and he eventually pulled Bucky right along with him on more than one occasion into his jaunts.

Bucky could hear their voices before he opened the door. Awenha’s sharp tone spoke over Steve’s.

“These aren’t your rules anymore Steve!” she shouted. “This isn’t the brownstone where you seemed to have lost your mind!”

“I’m sorry for that,” his voice sounded more crushed than Bucky had ever heard it. “You know me. I’m not going to stand there and listen to someone speak to you like that.”

Usually controlled when he had the privilege of authority but now, as Bucky listened Steve sounded hoarse, maybe even truly apologetic.

“Awenha, you have to believe me.”

“I don’t have to believe shit!”

Bucky opened the door. Immediately his eyes swept the hall to the left, nothing, and then to the sitting room they weren’t there either. He stepped in and shut it quietly behind him.

“What I do expect is that you listen to me. For once? Can you do that?” she barked.

“I always have.”

Awenha laughed, sharp and shrill. “Do you hear yourself?” she asked on a sarcastic chuckle. “Of course not, because that would require you to listen.” She bit off hatefully.

Bucky grinned, he couldn’t resist. He stayed in the hall between the door and the sitting area. He was sure Steve had heard him enter. But perhaps he was waiting to out him for his own purposes.

“Well it wouldn’t have happened if you had told me about all this.” He retorted back.

Bucky stepped from around the corner into the sitting room. Steve glanced back putting his hands on his hips.

“Bucky. This is between Awenha and-“

“Watch your tone.” warned Bucky. “This is our family, remember?”

Awenha’s eyes moved back and forth to the two men considering if it was worth the fight to continue with Steve. A big long sigh and a few seconds later Awenha let it go. She walked around Steve, strode passed Bucky toward the bedroom.

Her large stomach, stretched to the max felt tight under her hand as she opened the door and slammed it shut. Happy times, where were the joyous times promised by those who lived long lives. Who said that life was a series of moments strung together with the thinnest threads of hardship. Maybe her filaments were thicker than most? Birthed into an odd life gave way to an unusual woman but who wanted the typical life.

Awenha ambled further into the room thinking hard about the good. She shut her eyes, bowed her head with her hands rubbing the aching spots of her lower stomach. Azie was good. Love shot from her heart and exploded warmth down her torso.

Drea was good. Her sparkling and inspiring smile pulled forth in Awenha’s mind surrounding her with the feeling of safety. Her life was dashed away, but her spirit still clung to Awenha though. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Awenha could still feel her love and all that pride which Awenha wished she had seen before.

D’Kowe’s shark like grin, his dark eyes stewing with repressed lust – turned poisonous came forward. Not unlike Steve. But at least he was kind, as heavy handed as his actions were—there was a time she cared deeply and felt the first hints of love before it went to hell.

Awenha’s breath caught in her chest. Lungs tight with the speed of anxiety tearing through her body and total terror swept over her all at once. Steve’s eyes, the lasting gaze of endless promise to never leave lingered in her mind. She reminded herself, she repeated to her soul, that she had the upper hand. That she was in control of how far he was allowed near her heart.

It appeared to be working. Although, Bucky’s mood did little to help move them toward a more balanced home life. She didn’t blame him though. Azie was close to Steve for so long that at this point she had spent most of her life around him. But it was relieving to have Bucky back. Awenha wondered what went on in his mind, not that he would speak on it, she still considered what little he did give up to be a gift.

Awenha wiped the wetness from her cheeks and took a deep breath. And so their life thus far was of their making. However tedious it had become, Awenha had determined that in the end it could be _good_.

She opened her eyes at the creak of the bedroom door opening. Bucky poured into the room with his wide shoulders curving around the half open door. His blue eyes gazed at her with unkempt concern.

“Are you-“ Bucky saw the tears and rushed to her. “What’s wrong?”

He put his hands on the side of her face making her look at him even though she wanted to rebuff. She didn’t want him to see the raw hurt in them or the aching of loss that refused to stay back.

“I just want it to stop.” she begged.

“What?” he asked, Awenha’s eyes lazily blinked. More concerned than ever Bucky’s hands moved from her face to her shoulders as he leaned down to her face. “Sugar,”

Awenha blinked quicker at the use of the nick-name. It had been years since she heard it. It shocked her a bit, how with just his words could bring her back up for air from the lake of her murky ocean of memories. But it didn’t tamper the brutally of the emotions they left behind.

“D’Kowe’s—I fucking hate him.” She growled. Her voice was rough and open, it surprised Bucky to hear the words come from her lips.

Tears poured from her eyes, she snarled in huffs at a pain Bucky couldn’t see what was inflicting it. She clung to him as she fell into his chest. It freaked him out. Awenha rarely showed much when she broke, which wasn’t near as often as Bucky expected. But it gave him a good reason to allow his own thoughts of wringing the man’s neck to flow free in his mind. The familiar cold and hot sensation that taking a man’s life left was a particular feeling. It was one which he didn’t often reminiscence upon, but now as Awenha hung onto his shirt he allowed himself to remember with delight.


	9. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New addition, and back at the lab.

Awenha snored softly; she slept hard on the other side of the bed as Steve sat on the opposite end. He watched the rise and fall breaths of her chest. Exhausted but well tended to she slept peacefully.

The baby felt like nothing at all in Steve’s arm and yet he was everything. Steve looked down to his son who lay protect within big arms. Black hair swirled around a soft small face. He too slept, but smiled in his new dreams. Steve muttered under his breath soft words of love. Once or twice he stirred in Steve’s arms, long baby fingers curled in the air his face relaxed when Steve gently rocked him. Azie stood at the door and waved shortly toward Steve as she keenly observed the baby.

Steve motioned with his head for her to come.

“Stevie.” he whispered to his son. “Wanna meet your big sister?”

Azie’s bare feet walk silently toward them, her eyes at first are big and round but settle into wonderment. Steve patted the top of the cover to his left for her to sit.

Azie leaned over on Steve’s arm and stared at the top of her little brother’s head. “Can I hold him?” she asked quietly in her smallest voice.

Steve nodded as he said softy. “Sure, Azie.”

Steve stood and immediately Azie folded her arms like him, soothingly Steve placed the baby in her arms. He got to his knees in front of her to support her arm that held Stevie’s head.

Azie preened over Stevie, wide eyes narrowed in at his face and then scrunched her brows together.

“What’d think?” asked Steve, amused at her expression.

“He looks like he was born old.” She softly giggled. “Stevie has wrinkles.” She traced one of her fingers over the side of his face and down around his cheek. She leaned in sniffled his hair and nuzzled his ear with her nose. “He’s perfect.” She whispered and then lightly kissed the top of his head.

Bucky stopped at the threshold of the door with a tray in his hands. Azie held the new baby close near her face as Steve quietly instructed her. Like Steve knew how babies worked, Bucky laughed to himself. An amused grin pulled at the corner of his lips. He looked to the tray and then to Awenha who appeared to be stirring from sleep.

Just in time, he thought.

Bucky walked to the side of her bed. He held the tray at her level and pushed the button on the side of it. Automatically poles slowly glided out of the four corners underneath the tray to the exact level he held it.

Awenha rolled over and greeted him with a smile.

“Thank you Bucky. I’m starving.” She groaned and swung her feet to the floor.

Awenha stretched her neck from side to side and rubbed at her face.

“How are you feeling?” asked Bucky and sat to her side.

She fisted her hands at the crease of her thighs and continued to smile at him.

“I feel great.” She said. Though Bucky thought she sounded surprised. Awenha peered over her shoulder. Steve stared back at her with tender eyes.

“I’m hungry though.” she added and turned her eyes back to Bucky.

He leaned back on his palms sinking a bit into the bed as he watched her.

“Then eat.” He jerked his chin toward the plate. “Yuki brought this over before her shift.

Bucky brought up his metal hand and pushed a stray curl falling from her scarf out of her face.

“It smells great.” She said giving him one last grin before diving into the dish.

“Do I have to go to school today?” Azie implored quietly.

“Yes,” all three of them said at once.

Awenha laughed first with a bit of food in her mouth, Bucky’s body appeared to jar into a stifled laugh, and Steve pushed down a chuckle.

* * *

Three weeks had passed since the birth of Stevie and Awenha never felt better or more energized than had she felt at this moment. Her mind raced with the answers to her calculations. Her father’s lab was also cleaner than ever. Gone were the stacks of outdated schematic rolls thrown about in a chaotic fashion. They, along with the other bits left over from a few generations found a home she placed them in too.

A couple of days ago, Yuki had stared at her amazed that Awenha had not stayed at home during this delicate and life changing event. A few quips were thrown. Though Awenha wondered if Yuki ever thought before she spoke. 

But Awenha threw off the connotations that she was avoiding home life. In fact, she felt content with the decision to go back to her projects. And so she pushed herself into completing the preparations for D’Kowe’s mother. 

Awenha concentrated on the read out from converting the mapping of his mother’s brain to the device. The halo, as her father had named it, required basically the same procedure that she performed on Bucky’s treatment, though more honed.

Between overlays and synaptic engrams her mind wondered. Did her father feel this sometimes? The love was so strong and yet the disconnect from your children was easily accomplished. Was this a product of moving around the world? Awenha considered. At a younger age, she was never sure where to call home. And it was always a challenge adapting to new people. Sometimes to the point of avoiding it all together and focused upon the tangible. Yuki was the exception. 

She was home now. Not in New York where in the beginning she did nothing but worry about Azie. Bucky was home as Drea was the center of life for Tiakan.

Awenha rubbed her eyes, part of her couldn’t believe she would ever consider a person home. But she had his face, the smell of his skin, his particular heat and energy he brought into a room committed to memory. There was a gap, but despite that painful separation their life together had continued. And now, there was Stevie.

Awenha uploaded the new format and had no choice but to wait for it to integrate with the hardware. She walked away from her desk and through the small sitting area to the next room in the laboratory. Her eyes focused on the framed drawing she had taken from Steve that hung above a metal desk she hadn’t quite gotten around to cleaning. It was the sketch from the roof on Azie’s birthday.

What a strange man, she thought. How innocent his intentions appeared in the beginning. His manipulation of her was focused and pointed wholly on her. Hyperfixated though frugal with his intentions initially. He was smart, she thought clinically. As if he had a pathos of trauma not unlike Bucky before his treatment. Though Bucky still had those moments, however dark they might be, she knew he loved her.

Did Steve honestly love her? Was he capable of it?

While the questions were disconcerting. For her it was perhaps more troubling to consider that she loved him, and how that occurred. 

The thought sat on her heart as she continued to the small kitchenette near the desk. Simple by Wakandan standards, the recessed tech laid within the wall. The smooth black exterior automatically parted near the center as Awenha stuck a clean cup into an alcove where water began to pour into it.

“Cousin!” shouted Shuri. Awenha quickly blinked and snapped out of the haze of her thoughts.

Awenha stood awaiting her, leaned back against the desk sipping the water. Shuri entered the room wearing a shade of blue so bright that when Awenha blinked a bloom of sky lingered behind her lids.

Shuri’s surly expression and colorful top raised Awenha’s eyebrows. Shuri flipped a few braids over her shoulder, deep brown eyes regarded her confidently.

“You know mother has only seen Stevie once, right?” she asked, though it was no question Awenha needed an answer to.

Awenha said nothing and waited for Shuri to respond.

“Why is it always me that has to come and convince you to come to dinner?” Shuri raised her hands in the air– gripping at a clue, Awenha assumed.

“I have a lot to do Shuri.”

Shuri locked eyes with Awenha. “Do not throw my own excuses back at me cousin.” She said exacerbated.

“It’s not an excuse. I want to come, I have wanted to come. But there’s a new baby, this new project for Theis-“

“And two super enhanced soldiers…” Shuri prattled.

“Yes, Bucky and Steve.”

Shuri stepped in closer, she fingered a few bits of wire dangling from a shelf as she approached.

“So..how is that?” she asked innocently, and looked at Awenha curiously.

“How is what?” Awenha shook her head preparing for the worst and sat the cup down among the cutter of the desk.

“Well, call me old fashioned,” she imitated a soft gag before she continued. “But do you not see the oddity of living with two men?”

Awenha’s face fell.

“Shuri, you’re all of what nineteen?”

“Twenty-one.” The young woman corrected Awenha.

Awenha was not about to go into the convoluted details of the last six years. Let alone tell her about Steve and how much of turn he took toward the end.

“Okay. Well. Sometimes lives become entangled.” she offered.

Shuri grimaced. “That’s it?” she asked, and appeared a bit confused.

“That’s all I’m going to tell you.”

Shuri walked away toward the stretched out medical cot. “Fine. Keep your secrets.” She muttered.

“I’m just here to deliver this security feed.”

“The what?” it was Awenha’s turn to sound perplexed.

Shuri cleared her throat as she turned. She tilted her head, brown eyes bright swayed to the floor before settling back on Awenha. “Never mind.” She said quickly.

Shuri pushed off and started to walk back toward the entry. “I forgot it was supposed to go elsewhere.”

“Make sure you contact mother. She will be expecting it!” Shuri yelled back.


	10. Eavesdropper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontation and revelations
> 
> Warnings: violence, blood, dubious consent, voyeurism.

“You know I almost blew your cover.” said Shuri.

Bucky felt like he was simmering in his skin. He was quickly reading the information lining the screen in front of Shuri. But in the back of his head the struggle to hang on to his wrath for just a bit longer was busting to get out.

“I’m surprised she let it go.” said Bucky half paying attention.

“I only had to mention my mother,” she laughed, and her fingers on the spot flew into a furry of swipes as she completed the task.

“Well she might have seen through that rouse,” replied Bucky.

“Maybe, but I threw her off a bit before by asking about Steve, you and her.” said Shuri and leaned back taunting Bucky.

He gave her a fleeting look before returning to the feed.

“It’s complicated,” he muttered back.

“It’s only complicated if you make it that way.” She chimed back and shook her finger at him.

Bucky hummed back agreeing. “Is your brother in place?”

She nodded and twirled around in the chair.

“Good luck Bucky.” she said with a smile.

* * *

Bucky stood in the dark. Blanketed by night he stared down the incline of trees straddling a well trodden path.

He hadn’t nearly appreciated the rush this had given him in the past.The high-tailed rip right through the mind that comes with the imposing violence on another. He might not have been able to control his actions as a Hydra puppet, but Bucky was there within. He knew that now. He had been inside trapped behind a door, beating on his own subconscious crying and wailing to stop. Now that he extricated himself from that dark splintered mind, in control this time, it felt exhilarating.

The wind gusted, Bucky was too focused to notice the rustle of ferns and grass around him. His eyes zeroed in on the man who strode down the path below. Shoulders straight, head high with his nose in the air—D’Kowe.Bucky shifted, anxious to act, he glanced further down the path and began to walk with his target in the cover of night. 

D’Kowe stopped short of taking his regular left toward home. His beads would not work. Unusual for certain, like the sun they were an absolute reliability. He pressed one between his index finger and thumb and waited. Nothing.

The hair on the back of his neck stood up as a break of a stick from somewhere deep in the forest echoed. He hadn’t noticed how quiet it had become or how still his childhood forest now felt. 

D’Kowe shrugged it off and began to walk faster.Little pops of light in the distance became his guide. D’Kowe, now striding into an almost jog, didn’t look back at the forest which appeared to be descending into a peculiar foreboding.

“I didn’t know you could move that fast.” called a deep voice from his right.D’Kowe skidded to a stop and jerked his head in the direction of movement.

Bucky stepped out, moonlight reflected off his skin washing him out to that of a ghoul in D’Kowe’s opinion.

“What do you want?” D’Kowe relaxed visibly.

“I want nothing from you,” said Bucky, still walking toward D’Kowe.

D’Kowe looked at the lights of his home and then against his better judgment glanced behind him. He was truly alone. D’Kowe tried to press his beads once more.

“Those aren’t going to work.” said Bucky gesturing at D’Kowe’s fingers furiously pressing a bead.

His head jerked up, Bucky was still approaching. “Stop where you are!” D’Kowe demanded.

Bucky was closing in, a cocky grin plastered to the corner of mouth, eyes dark like the night he was cloaked in filled D’Kowe’s vision.

“Not a chance.” Grunted Bucky, and punched D’Kowe in the nose.

The man’s head snapped back, his arms whirled in the air desperate to catch his balance and accept the blinding pain now settling behind his eyes.

Stunned D’Kowe tasted blood and adjusted quickly as he stumbled back holding his nose. Bucky thought he should have hit him harder. So he strode back toward him.

D’Kowe stared at him, his eyes widened he felt them jerk deeper into their sockets when Bucky didn’t stop advancing. 

Bucky struck him in the gut with his metal arm with a sharp punch. And again into his ribs until he crumbled to the dirt gasping for air. 

Bucky ripped him by the collar of his robes, D’Kowe’s body limply fought back in the struggle to haul him back up to a standing position. Bucky chuckled, pulled back his flesh arm and pounded at his face. He punched D’Kowe in the eye, the cheek, and for good luck, in his fucking contemptuous mouth.

D’Kowe’s pain level overcame him he wretched as he fell back to the ground in a quivering mess.

“How dare you!” he spit.

“How dare _you_ , D’Kowe.”

The beaten man’s head sluggishly moved in the direction of another voice. A man, his respected tone brought hope and retribution to his heart.

“My King!” D’Kowe moaned. “This _outsider_ —this pile of goat shit attacked me!” he yelled and pointed up at Bucky.

D’Kowe’s pleading puffy eyes gazed at T’Challa. When the King stopped near Bucky, completely relaxed near him panic settled in D’Kowe’s core.

“What is this?!” he bellowed and gripped the dirt beneath his palms. “You turn me over to an outsider to do your dirty work!”

D’Kowe shuffled to a standing position, blood poured from his nose as he tried to wipe it away.

“The White Wolf has wanted this for sometime it is true.” said T’Challa with a smirk and glanced at Bucky.

But as he continued T’Challa fixed D’Kowe with a glare as he took a step toward him.

“But I had not given him permission…until now.”

D’Kowe refused to look at Bucky so he kept his eyes on T’Challa.

“You have stolen vibranium, D’Kowe. And it appears you have been doing it for years. It was your downfall that your inability to treat another with humility that drew the attention.”

D’Kowe shook his head violently. “No! I have never stolen-“

A tall, strong woman came to the king’s side and handed a thin device to him. T’Challa glanced at it and then threw the pad with the evidence on it to the ground at his feet.

“You have. And you sold them. You were exporting much more than goat cheese.”

D’Kowe’s heartbeat quickened, shocked and almost on the verge of puking again he stepped back. Hit a hard wall and turned to see another of the king’s guard standing behind him.

D’Kowe leered back at T’Challa.

“What about my family?” he said, and silently admitting to his crime. “Are you going to exile them?” he growled.

“No. But they are free to follow you.” said T’Challa lightly.

The guard standing behind him grabbed D’Kowe by the arms. He halfway twisted out of it, jerked his body but the guard was stronger than his struggling limbs.

“She should be grateful—that anyone wanted her—I should have ended her when I had the ch-“

The guard dragged D’Kowe close to Bucky as he continued to shout through his restraint. 

“Awenha—and your child they do not deserve the life Wakanda has to offer!” he yelled and pulled against the hold some more.

It was at the mention of his child that jolted Bucky. He stepped forward and hit D’Kowe in the face with enough force to knock him out cold.

D’Kowe’s body slumped immediately as second guard held his other arm. He dangled between them, feet skimming the ground leaving a track behind them in their wake. 

Steve caught himself staring at Awenha. He stood on the other side of the counter, lids low, blue eyes blown out to black pupils that were fixed on the curve of her hips as she reached into the bookshelf. Her ass bounced in the tight shorts that rode high on her thick waist. The crease stretched effortlessly along the split of the two glorious halves. And Steve felt a flustered sigh catch in his throat.

Drawn to her Steve walked toward her. Awenha still had her back turned as she read a few lines from the hardbound book. The movement of his eyes slithered like a snake from her ass, up the loose shirt she wore to the curls swaying from a messy bun. The ends looked like they tickled the nape of her neck. Where the swirling strands contacted skin, Steve leaned in close put his nose on that spot and inhaled.

Awenha jumped forward, dropped the book with a bang, and clung to the shelf. She peered over her shoulder to find Steve gazing down at her, his chin was almost tucked into his chest as his eyes moved over her body.

“What—“ she mumbled.

She turned around with her back hitting the shelf. Steve put his hands into his pockets as he stepped closer. Awenha’s eyes looked him up and down. She couldn’t still be afraid? Steve considered she just might be but it didn’t stop him from closing the distance between them. Steve withdrew a hand, itching to touch, and swept it down her temple to her chin. Those brown eyes, Steve remembered how they could look so frightened and lustful in the throes of his passion. Kind of how they appeared now. The bravery that had been there before, in the quinjet, had all but evaporated in the heat of his palm.

“Steve.” she said hastily and made to move, but Steve now fully caught up stuck an arm out blocking her in.

Sharply, Awenha glared at him and immediately Steve removed his arm. Both of his hands were in the air.

“Sorry…” he said quietly and his hands dropped. “It’s just—“Steve didn’t say anything, his eyes locked on to her face.

“It’s just, what?” she asked breathlessly.

His gaze finally moved down her neck. Steve noted Awenha rubbing her fingers together nervously. He caught the quick breaths fanning through her lips.

Steve leaned in and when she did not pull back he took it as permission to continue further. He bent his knees a bit as his lips moved closer to hers. Lightly, gently he kissed her. Slowly his hands rose to her ribcage automatically she tilted her neck back leaned into him. Steve pushed his hips and bulge into the soft plump of her belly.

Awenha’s head swam, her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest with anxiety and yet she began to cling to his chest as she deepened the kiss.

The front door swung open with a bang.

Awenha noticeably jumped in Steve’s arms. Heavy steps rounded the corner to the sitting room. There stood Bucky, chest heaving, face flushed pink. Awenha’s eyes dropped to his hands. They were covered in blood.

Bucky’s eyes met Awenha’s large shocked expression, but he broke it off when he shifted to Steve.

He said nothing and walked back the same direction. He slammed the front door shut, and Awenha suddenly broke out of Steve’s grasp following the sounds of Bucky’s foot falls.

The door to their bedroom was cracked, out of it poured dim light into the dark hall. She walked quickly inside saw the pieces of clothing on the floor he had shed on the way to the bathroom.

The whoosh of water drew her attention back to him, though she hesitated just outside the door.

Awenha peaked around the side. Bucky was there, shirtless, leaning over the stone and metal sink. Both of his hands gripped the rim of it as he stared at the water in the basin.

Bucky shut his eyes. He tried to let the sound of the water drown out the echoing impacts of his fist pounding D’Kowe’s face to no end. The rush from the hunt was dissipating but not the remnants of satisfaction. More than what gun fire and explosion could remind him of –it was the up close, ultra personal moment he knew that he bested D’Kowe that lingered.

And then there was that moment between Awenha and Steve he walked in on. He tried to let it go. Bucky knew this was part of it. But he couldn’t get Steve’s, _belongs to us_ , out of his head. After _what_ he did, _how_ he did it. Bucky’s anger peeled back to rage and stuck in deeper.

“Bucky…” she said quietly and moved into the small room.

Already the steam from the hot water coated the large mirror in front of him. Awenha stared at his hazy reflection, down cast eyes peered into the sink, his lips were drawn in tight and he said nothing. She could see the struggle play out in his posture. He was rigid, not like her Bucky at all, she thought. His shoulders were stiff as if he were resisting the strain of aggression; his sullen fixed gaze fell to his hands.

Awenha’s eyes moved to his hands as he plunged them into the water. Her bare feet brushed over the wood floor when she rushed to his side. She stared horrified down at the blood swirling away from his hands.

And _her_ —Awenha’s name churned in his mind. He could see the distress in her expression from the corner of his eye. All round eyed, mouth parted, the edge of her breast pressing against the smooth metal of his arm. How quickly she seemed to forget that he told her he wasn’t capable of half loving her. But seeing her in Steve’s arms, after thoroughly fucking up D’Kowe, set off a blast in his mind.

“What happened?” she asked frightfully and looked up at the profile of his face.

“Did you hurt somebody…” she trailed off.

“I took care of him.” he muttered.

“Who-“

Suddenly an explosion of water erupted in front of her followed by a bang of metal to stone as Bucky hit the sink.

He whipped around and grabbed Awenha’s jaw with his flesh hand.

“Are you happy now?”

Awenha’s hands flew to Bucky’s wrists. 

“It’s what you wanted, right?”

Bucky’s eyes, wild and furious beat down upon her confused wide open face. She recovered fast though, use to his moods, his temper she snatched her face out of his hold.

“I never asked you to hurt anyone!” she sniped back.

Awenha looked at the crumbling sink, she leaned passed Bucky and shut the faucet off. His eyes were still on her hot and all consuming, she didn’t bother to look at him. Instead, she began to walk away, Bucky stuck out his metal arm pushed her hard against the parallel wall cornering her completely.

“I did this for you.” He sneered.

Water pooled between her toes as Awenha slid slightly trying to regain balance. She held onto the side of the metal counter, her other hand was wrapped around his metal wrist at her side.

“What do you want?” she huffed back. “Want a ‘ _thank you_ ’?” her eyes narrowed up at him. “Thank you!”

Bucky shut his eyes against the tone of her sarcastic mouth and turned his head with scorn.

“But this isn’t about D’Kowe.” She said sounding profoundly astute.

Bucky raised his eyes back at her, stifling the urge to punch the wall next to her head he glowered.

“Is it?” she insisted. Her eyes roamed over his face as part of the aggression appeared to melt away.

“What are not telling me about Steve?” she asked quietly. “Is it what _you_ want? Do you think I love him more?” she continued to prod.

Awenha slid a bit forward and caressed his prickly jaw.

Bucky countered her loving stroke by grabbing her hand while wrapping his metal arm around her waist. He jerked her around and forced her face onto the cool wall. Stepping up closer and dipping his hips in further he pushed the weight of his body into her. Instinctively Awenha knocked her ass back to relieve the pressure in her chest. Desperate for distance and shocked by his shift she placed both her hands on the wall palm down. For leverage, she put one of her kneecaps into the wall and pushed back again.

Bucky was stronger, he took note of her clever thinking and pressed in harder. The ache in his groin grew the more he nudged the bulge against her. The way he could slip passed his pain and fall right into her had almost been forgotten. He had almost forgotten how transcendent it felt to quiet the battle raging in his head when he held her tight.

Bucky’s metal hand snaked under her left arm and held her around the throat. Awenha bucked again tried to turn her head but his other gripped her jaw. His lips were on her ear. Her shirt was crumpled up revealing one of her breast, the nipple hardened on contact with his arm. She didn’t know whether to cry or scream when he squeezed her jaw more as retaliation for her continued struggle.

Awenha’s vision in her right eye blurred against the wall Bucky’s face hovered over the left. She stopped fighting. The wave of wetness slid between her folds and she knew it wasn’t only for Bucky. How does this happen–she blamed her hang-ups created in the helplessness of assault. But the offensive conclusion she had come to did nothing to stop the feeling. The need to quiet her mind by losing it in the delicious the pang of muscle bruising under the skin, the force of his strength, and the powerless that came with it.

Moist warm air blanketed her ear and neck. “I do it better than Steve.” He growled.

She smelled so sweet. There at the nape of her neck as he left a trail of wet kisses. The hiss and moan of her subservience her complete submission to his need shot right to his dick. She always knew him better in that way, he thought as his lips parted into a wide smile upon her skin.

Bucky’s hand left her jaw and headed straight to her shorts. He tugged on them roughly until they slid over her wide ass to her round thighs. Quickly he unzipped the front of his dark military cargos releasing his wet tipped cock. Bucky’s metal hand flew to her hips, digging into the soft skin there and pulled her ass back to him as he lowered himself until he was at her entrance.

He sunk in all the way in one motion into her wetness. Bucky tumbled forward and pressed his forehead on to her temple with the feel of her clench sucking in around him. He savored her gasp. The surrender of her body was complete. Bucky cleared his mind, leaned back, hitched her hips within his hands and began pounding at a punishing pace.

“Bucky..” she groaned. “It’s too fast.”

He stopped, he leaned back into her, regained control of her neck with his flesh hand and pushed her face back into the wall. His breaths fall into her ear, he hisses as he slowly pumped into her. His tongue slid from his mouth along the shell of her ear sending a wave of shivers down her spine.

“But you love it.” He said harshly.

Bucky drew swipes of sweat with his metal hand down around to her front. He shoved his fingers between her sweat slick thighs to her wet cunt.

“Open up pretty girl,” he groaned into her ear.

Awenha obeyed she shifted her thighs apart and as soon as there was more than a centimeter there Bucky pushed his fingers deeper toward her clit. The warm metal pressed her hard, swirled her bundle with the quickness he knew she couldn’t resist. Awenha’s legs trembled, thighs shook as her ass bucked up into his pelvis.

Bucky’s keen eyes watched the side of her face. Awenha’s mouth parted, her breaths came quicker as did the tightening around his cock. Within seconds her eye shot open and a moan he would never forget ripped through her. He didn’t allow her to move though. Not even through her orgasm. He hadn’t gone soft on her. Bucky needed to be hard. He pulled his wet soaked fingers from her clit wrapped it around her throat with the other and began pounding her with his thrust.

His mind parted, the anger, the jealousy it stepped aside and suddenly he was only with his girl. The sweetest, most wonderful girl in the world Bucky chanted in his soul. The only one who could take the dark, his darkness, and turn it into something beautiful. Bucky’s hips snapped hard into her. He couldn’t keep his eyes open, the feeling burst open within him of absolute devotion.

Bucky sunk into her moaning cries letting it wash away the paranoia. He felt free. But his ultimate goal of lulling away the dark, for a time, was reaching an end. Bucky’s hands slipped from Awenha’s neck to her shoulders then down her back to her hips. His eyes cracked opened, he peered at the brown skin of her neck and shoulder. 

Bucky needed the reminder and he decided so did she. Of the power he could weld, of the love he felt, to satisfy the primal urge of marking what’s yours. Suddenly he leaned forward, the bare brown skin of her shoulder slipped under his lips until his teeth latched on. Awenha’s back arched to a curve, a painful lustful moan shuddered from her and Bucky bit down—hard.

Marking her skin, electric but marking her within the smooth walls of her core, it was loyalty. 

* * *

Steve had heard the shatter. Porcelain, stone, or whatever the sink was made of, it made a loud clatter. 

He had told himself that he was concerned. Not for Bucky so much as he was for Awenha. After all they were much stronger than her. As he knew first hand.

But what he couldn’t justify was why he stood half way into their bedroom. The civilized thing to do would have been to leave as soon as he heard she was okay.

That he once he ensured Awenha was safe with Bucky he could leave them to their argument.

 _But he didn’t_.


	11. Unassuming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: angst, smut

Midnight arrived with a whimper unlike the bang of earlier in the evening. With the late hour rolled in a storm, at first gentle rumbles soon turned to cracks of thunder. Fits of strong wind squalled upon their home, creaked wood beams within and showered the windows with soft pelts of rain.

Azie finally slept restfully despite the now dying storms last grumbling throes. Awenha raised her head from the pillow they shared and studied her daughter. Puffy cheeks parted into a small mouth that snored. Awenha caressed her cheek, placed a kiss and whispered _I love you_ , before she got up from the small bed.

Awenha slipped from her bedroom door and walked down the hall to the next room. The door was wide open; she crossed the threshold and entered the dim room. Steve’s full size bed was nearest to the door. She walked around to the other side where sat a bassinet, the smooth entwined wood curved into a small cradle. Little shields were drawn upon it, Azie’s handy work, always caught Awenha’s eye.

She stepped up to the cradle and peered inside. Stevie slept soundly, though soon, judging by the weight of her breasts she would need to feed him soon. Ensuring he was safe, Awenha bent down and kissed his head.

When she walked from the room the strong smell of coffee hit her. When she rounded the corner passed the front door she saw Steve. He stood tall, broad shoulders in a black tank top and loose shorts moving about the kitchen.

“Stevie’s still asleep,” Awenha said to him as she moved toward the fridge.

Steve glanced back at her while standing over the most advanced coffee machine he had ever seen. Even Tony would have marveled. Steve’s eyes returned to her figure as he waited for his cup to fill.

The flimsy nightgown, loose but it absolutely gave away everything she had to offer. The straps, mere threads in Steve’s opinion, draped over her shoulders revealing a mouth sized bruise. Almost healed, but he could still see the slight indentations of teeth.

Steve took a deep silent breath and moved his eyes down the soda bottle shape of her body. Bucky had his hands all over her. Steve didn’t know how long he had stood there in the bedroom. He only knew that it was more than enough time to capture her desperate moans. Sounds he had once pried from her supple body.

Awenha pulled out a wooden carton full of mixed berries and grapes. Steve, still facing the wall of the kitchen preened his head, tried to appear inconspicuous with his continued staring as she moved to the next cabinet.

His _girl_. Steve wouldn’t let the intentions behind the words go. He also wasn’t lying when he told Bucky they both could have what they want. But now, as her moans filled his head, the mark on her neck now appeared more healed, he couldn’t deny the jealousy. Bucky had her. For loss of better words Steve wondered when it would be his turn. He wondered when he would be graced with the love she poured onto Bucky so easily.

Steve thought back to their moment at the bookshelf. He saw the hopefulness in her eyes. How her body immediately submitted to him when he kissed her. Within his arms, she didn’t feel uncomfortable—maybe even safe.

Steve grabbed the cup from the machine. He splashed in a bit of milk and followed her to the open counter.

Awenha fingered the fruit with picky intent. Steve stood near her leaned his lower back on the counter and continued to study the bruise.

“Sink broken?” he asked.

Awenha hummed and nodded slightly and ignored his curious tone.

“Is Bucky asleep?” said Steve in an attempt to deflect from what they both knew happened.

“Nope.” she said.

Awenha looked at him while dropping the grapes of her choosing into her bowl. “He’s on a call with Sam.”

Steve’s demeanor shifted. He turned around, set the cup down on the counter and put both hands on the counter as he spoke to her.

“What did he want?” he asked looking slightly bewildered. “I expected Ross to give him a hard time with the shield…I didn’t consider he wouldn’t let him have it.”

Awenha turned slightly, leaned her hip against the counter. Steve’s eyes right away moved to the tugging effect of the gown around her right breast.

“Well, I hope that Bucky stays out of it. At least for a year. War crimes and all that..” she added.

Suddenly overcome with visions of her body laid beneath him Steve stood up, turned his body toward her and tried to remain passive. “Ya, of course.” said Steve.

Awenha popped a blueberry in her mouth as she stared wistfully into the kitchen. He felt for her. In actuality, Steve surprised himself with how much he cared about how it must be tearing at her to suddenly grapple with the idea of Bucky leaving.

“But I’m here, too.” He said, smiling half heartedly. “I’m through with all of that.” Steve’s hand grazed the back of her arm. Awenha’s eyes returned to Steve’s face as she listened.

“If this is going to work…” He said with hesitation. “You have to let me back in. You can’t keep all of this on you, Awenha.”

She rolled the berry between her fingers as she considered his meaning. She felt different about Steve compared to Bucky. She would argue that within the dream-world she touched his soul, if such things existed, then it had happened there. But with Steve the only thing she had come in contact with was his craven ideal of love. And as she allowed him to continue to touch her one thing was certain, he was dedicated.

Awenha nodded and plopped the blueberries from her hand back into her bowl on the counter.

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “Steve, I know what you want from me.”

“ _For_ you.” He corrected furtively.

“Well, you haven’t made it easy _for_ me.” She added.

Steve nodded, he retracted the touch and swept that hand over the bristles of his chin. “That’s over.” He continued. “It _will_ be easier. Bucky and I are on better terms. We are fathers to your children, and your partners. Where he can’t keep, I’ll stay and vice versa.”

“But what if I didn’t want you to stay?” she asked quietly.

She couldn’t have been serious; Steve thought, and brought his hand back to her arm. He held her gently and considered that her words came from hurt not her heart.

“Do you mean that?” Steve asked.

Awenha’s hard gaze softened to sadness, her eyes filled with tears.

“No.” she said even more softly.

“We can do this, together.” Steve drew her body in by the arm until his strong limbs enveloped her shoulders with warmth. “You’re never alone. Not anymore. And you will never be again.”

Awenha shivered, not from the cool stone tile she stood on, but from his words. It wasn’t an ominous feeling, but an acknowledgment from her spirit to his that his dedication could be useful. That passed the trauma they could build upon the pain with better intentions. But creating meant she needed to trust in him. That was something Awenha was uncertain she could promise to give.

Steve dipped his head near her ear, long strands of his beard brushed her temple.

“Think of me again as the man who loves you.” He whispered.

She trusted herself. Instinct, her gut, it was working overtime as Steve laid a gentle kiss on her neck near the bruise. Awenha’s hand brushed over his thick rib cage and to his back. She leaned into him and let go of some of the pressure building in her chest. He buried his face on her skin, his beard scrapped prickly against the edge of her jaw and she let him hold her. Or was she holding him? She felt safe in his arms. A concept she never would have imagined a few years ago. Awenha refused for the length of this moment to not wallow in what happened. She wanted to feel him.

The strength of his arms, his body wrapped around her protectively and shielded her from thoughts of the past. This was what Steve could be. She closed her eyes concentrated on the fast beat of his heart against her chest. The man she had first met was kind, thoughtful, a person to lean on. Who rescued others but rarely needed saving himself. Awenha felt a slight shift within from hard to soft when it came to Steve. Did he need saving? What did Steve Rogers need liberating from?

_Could they save each other?_

The soft cry called out, it was Stevie. Awenha shifted her head in the direction of the wail.

“He’s hungry.” She said softly.

Steve released her but not before kissing her near the mouth and grazing his knuckles down her neck.

“We’ll talk more,” she promised and went to take care of their son.

* * *

Steve dozed on his bed. Caught between memories of war, of his mother, and Awenha he let them come. His mind flooded with grief. He needed the feeling. More urgently now than in the past he needed them to remind him what he was fighting for.

This wasn’t life or death, it was heart and soul. For Steve at this moment in his life there was far more to lose than just his life. He was risking the greatest love he had felt in decades.

Peggy’s face hovered somewhere over the images of explosion, gun-fire and smoke within his mind. Tight fisted with affection as she was, Peggy could have been more. But like the depression era potato peel soup, and fascists—she belonged in the past.

Awenha was the future. Steve’s eyes slipped under relaxed lids as he dreamed of her. A woman bound to him by a non-corporeal tether. They were meant to be. She loved him, he was convinced she did. But he had hurt her, lost the trust she placed in him and broke her heart.

_Could she still love him anyway?_

Steve awoke with a startle. He sat up and glanced at the bassinet near his bed. Stevie slept soundly.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stood up from the bed. Steve required little sleep. Though the sleep he did get was never restful. He didn’t know what that word meant anymore.

Awenha was gone for the day, left an ample supply of breast milk for him to feed his son. Azie was at school for at least another five hours. Steve wondered why he suddenly woke up. And then distant movements from the kitchen confirmed the reason. Bucky was home early.

Steve slipped on a pair of jeans, a moderately clean cotton tee shirt as he looked back at his son. He was still sleeping.

Bucky was on his way out the front door when Steve stepped from his room. He opened it and walked out on to the porch. Steve followed hastily behind him.

“No luck at the lab?” he asked, eager to hear something new other than baby cries.

Bucky turned around with a grin.

“There’s so much to catch up on. I got frustrated. She told me to go take a break.” said Bucky.

Steve took a few steps near the ledge, crossed his arms and thought of how patient she was.

“She’s good at gauging our limits.” said Steve. “And better at pushing them when we need it.”

Bucky moved down the steps, Steve thought he was going to walk away without saying good-bye. But he turned and looked up at Steve. Bucky gazed at him noting the tightness of his stance, the worried stretch of his lips.

“So how has your day been?”

Steve relaxed, even managed a soft smile. “I’ve only called Awenha four times today. I think I’ve improved.”

“Used to be eight.” chided Bucky.

Steve nodded, and acknowledged his progress. He looked away from Bucky. Steve felt heavy inside like his spirit weighed a thousand pounds and was currently dragging him to the ground. But he stood against it. He had to in order to gain perspective of his ultimate goal. A peaceful family life.

“Have you told her?” said Steve rolling his head back to Bucky.

Bucky scoffed in his chest, he knew what Steve was asking but he wanted to hear him say it.

“Told her what?” he asked and sized Steve up. The question floated between them twirling in the anxious air around Steve. Bucky savored it.

Steve ran a hand over his lips and beard while still staring down Bucky.

“About the arrangement.” he reminded.

“Oh,” said Bucky he walked back up the stairs to the landing ignoring Steve’s growing scowl with every step. “That.”

He could feel Steve’s animosity between them. He imagined it wasn’t much unlike an invisible fog, dense, and tended to stick to the skin.

“We had a deal.” he said in a low voice.

Bucky dug his fists into his pockets and leaned back against the baluster. “Steve you live here.” He shrugged. “You want to sleep with my girl?”

“Our girl.” He corrected.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed at the reminder. Steve didn’t appear smug, but the words sounded like it to him.

“If she even wants you.” said Bucky, deciding to poke at Steve’s mood.

It worked. Steve dropped his arms and paced back toward the door.

“So, you haven’t tried?” said Bucky quietly, in an attempt to suss out if he had.

“Would I be here asking if I had?”

“Then what was that a few nights ago? A heavy handshake?” Bucky asked still eyeing Steve’s demeanor.

Steve couldn’t respond. Bucky was right. Steve sighed, broad shoulders slumped as he stared blankly at Bucky.

“If you really believed it was up to me, then you’re going about this whole _sharing_ thing wrong. You’re asking the wrong person.” said Bucky.

Bucky pushed off the rail. Maybe it was Steve’s stupid pathetically sad face that did it. But Bucky relinquished some of the hostility between them and took a step toward him.

“Why don’t you try talking to her yourself?” said Bucky.

* * *

“He was hungry.” whispered Steve in awe.

He never got enough of watching the motherly interaction. Not because he was a pervert. Although, he was unabashed with his gaze and the familiar yearn would pool in his groin anyway. His scruples prevented his mind from wandering further.

But it was because it was _her_ , with _his_ son and each second that he spent with just the two of them felt significant.

The moment also reminded him of the journey it took to get this far. A long series of choices where he had to forfeit his morals for the outcome he believed they deserved. What he considered now, against the nature of his stubbornness, is that she deserved better.

But he wouldn’t fully admit it, not yet. And certainly not before he knew that she was completely on board with their plan for a happy life together. It was too risky to drop his determined mindset to explore forgiveness.

Steve didn’t avert his eyes as Awenha pulled their son from her breast and placed his sleeping form back into his bassinet.

Steve moved forward, and rolled the cradle to its former spot in the corner of the room. When he turned she had fastened the strap of her gown back to her shoulder. She appeared tired to him with her eyes hooded, and the deep yawn that pulled deep from her lungs.

Steve walked back until he stood directly in front of her. The seconds were fleeting in the thoughts he had before he took action. Steve needed to know. At least, he thought he deserved some answer from her. By the time Awenha looked up at him he was already descending to his knees.

Awenha watched him wearily. Unsure what he was up to, she started to speak but Steve put a finger to his mouth to quiet her. He brought that hand to her face, she didn’t shrink away so Steve continued down the smooth column skin of her neck. His eyes were darkened by the evening light of the window as they traveled with the path of his hand.

Steve’s hands rested on the tops of her thighs. “You’re beautiful.” he said reverently.

Seriousness fell between the silence and their breaths. Steve’s eyes dropped to her legs, he stared at the tight brown skin he massaged under this thumbs. He could hear her breaths quicken, the soft gasp was glorious to his ears when he inched his hands up under the gown.

Steve’s eyes rose to Awenha’s cynical gaze. “A beautiful woman who has my heart.”

“Well you’re starting to act like it, finally,” said Awenha smoothly.

Steve’s eyes drop down to her lips. “Still afraid of me?” he asked as his eyes moved back to hers.

His charm, she hadn’t forgotten the effect it had on her. With those fathomless inquisitive eyes searching her face for the answer before she could speak it. It felt achingly familiar.

Awenha placed her hands on top of his. “No.” she said.

Steve smiled, bright though quickly vanished when he brought his hands up to her shoulders. He urged her to lay back on top of his bed. At first she resisted with a warning glare but relented.

Steve parted her thighs with wide swiping motions until her feet were planted on the edge of the bed. He licked his lips and sighed when he saw that she wore no panties.

He could not remember the last time he tasted her. But he heard, in his mind, the distant moans he could elicit from her sweet mouth. Steve sat back on his knees and stared at her mound, his eyes traveled along the valley of her thighs imprinting the sight.

His cock throbbed and without another second of hesitation dived lips first into her. Awenha’s hips jumped, legs shot straight into the air as she stifled a yell. Steve latched on to her hips keeping her still to his motions.

He licked quick, he sucked hard. He wasn’t trying to make it last. No, he wanted her to feel how much time had been stolen between them. That with each lash of his tongue he was penetrating her energy, mixing his want with her need and the raw uncensored fidelity that he offered was timeless. They were forever.

Sweat dampened her thighs; it stuck to his beard, his neck. Steve unhooked one hand from her hip pressed into the center of her inner thigh and forced her legs open to him. Moans, quiet mouse like squeaks poured from her lips as her back arched to the building climax.

Awenha’s hands shot to his long blond strands pushing his face harder into her cunt. Her breaths dropped from erratic to a steady rhythm. A tempo for the rise and fall of her impeding burst.

Steve slid his hand over her thigh toward her wetness, two fingers parted her dark folds at the same time he sucked her clit into his mouth.

Awenha jerked forward, legs attempted to slam shut in the fit of convulsing muscles but Steve kept them open as she rode out her orgasm.

Steve’s head rose from between her thighs.

God, she looked beautifully content in sensual rapture. Awenha’s legs pulled together as a light giggle shook her chest and she flopped onto her side.

Steve wiped his mouth and stood. It was too much of a temptation if he lingered any longer near her so he walked over to Stevie’s cradle and peered in. He was still sound asleep and unaware of his parents.

Awenha was there, suddenly and intimately by his side. She wrapped her fingers around the back of his arm and looked up at him with thinly veiled delight.

Steve fixated on the growing adoration in her gaze. Where he was concerned, they were once distant and unforgiving, but now they were focused upon him in the most endearing way.

The effect warmed his heart and it validated his intentions.

She did deserve better, thought Steve and put his hand over hers. But for now, and as long as she complied, he could show her how much he changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read it! <3


	12. Study

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home life continues to spiral. 
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Reminder that this story is 18+!! :: angst, SMUT, dubious/non-consent, anxiety

Bucky’s normally, soft blue eyes and that touch of sensitivity he would usually have where Awenha was concerned turned abrasive. Bucky snatched the knob of the front door, pushed it open and waited for her to enter first. She muttered a rebuttal low under her breath as she strode past him. He stared at the back of her head, he’d rather piss her off with his silence than give her the satisfaction of a reply.

Thankfully Azie was gone, down the street at her best friend’s home H’Hrome. And Steve, he decided to take Stevie on a walk to the market. Though Bucky suspected it was more to avoid Sam Wilson, who had arrived a few days ago along with a handful of others who had helped win the fight against Thanos for the King’s Festival.

But Sam wasn’t only here for the food or the women. Bucky tried to inch into the conversation with Awenha that Sam requested his help. To lessen the impact of saying he was going to accept Bucky he offered that he would only be gone for a few weeks. That was a mistake on his part, he admitted silently but refused to let her have that.

“Lay off, will you.” Bucky said fervently.

Awenha tossed the bag of fruit on the counter with a loud smack. Bucky drew himself up tall and watched her disdainfully as she walked across the kitchen and jerked open the fridge. His skin bristled at her attitude. She seared the edges of his anger too.

“You don’t get to pick for me, for our family,” said Awenha as she swung around.

Bucky stepped up to the island counter and pressed his hands onto the top hoping it would help ground his mood.

“Sam needs my help.” He wasn’t successful in hiding the irritation in his voice and it only increased the harshness of her tone.

“I need your help.” Her voice strained. “Bucky, you said you were done.” she snapped while angrily stuffing the rest of the fruit in the shelf. In her outrage she hastily moved about the kitchen in a tizzy. Bucky thought even her hair was shaking when she stood still long enough. She walked back across the small kitchen toward the dining area with her eyes roaming the floor.

“You know what that is?” She said quickly but before he could respond Awenha sniped back. “A liar!”

The accusation snapped through his mind. Bucky had enough; he struck the counter with his flesh hand and swiftly strode toward her.

Awenha automatically froze at the sound and when he caught her by the arm on impulse she pushed back. With sheer strength he nudged her backward by the hold of her upper arm until her ass bumped the edge of the table. Her gall, her outright refusal to understand that he needed this mission was too much to tolerate passively.

Locked in between their sitting table and his body Awenha stared at him like he had hit her.

He wagged his metal finger in her face. “You don’t get to choose.” Bucky reprimanded.

Awenha jerked her arm once and he let her go.

“No.” she said defiantly. “That’s not how all of this going to hold together. If you think leaving me here with Steve is a great plan—then you really have no idea.”

She pushed him away, he yielded easily to her. 

Bucky wanted to do what he was supposed to do. Walk away, rethink the situation—or whatever the therapist had said in the past to stop the onslaught. But emotions, the pressure was beginning to build faster than he could process them. He just wanted to be free of them. He wanted the release.

“And you are not going to bully me-“

Fuck, counting or deep breaths. Once again Bucky grabbed her by the forearm hauled her up against him and headed to the open door to the study just off from the dining area. When they entered he swung her hard into the room. She landed wedged between the wall and the metal bookshelf and he slammed the door behind him.

Awenha leaned against the wall, chest heaving, bracing her body for his impact. A sensual heat arose from her expression as her eyes crossed over his invading form. His roughness, his need to possess was all too familiar. She knew where this was going. He couldn’t be vulnerable, she thought, she felt ashamed that she had forgotten the dark interludes. Where the only emotion he risked with her was lust and not his hurt.

No words were uttered between them. Bucky cornered her there imposing the width of his body, pinning her movements with the weight of the near fury in his eyes. He held her face within his hands and kissed her hard. His lips bruised the tender inner flesh of her mouth with her teeth. She couldn’t breathe, could barely move her face so to relieve the pressure of her mouth by shaking her head. Bucky held her harder, squeezed her jaws tighter to keep her there. When she opened her mouth to protest Bucky slipped along the ridge of her bottom lip with his tongue.

He grunted when he felt her tongue touch his.

She fought tooth and nail against the heat building within her. It felt wrong. Awenha pushed on his face but he didn’t stop. He shouldn’t get to be the only one to decide anything she angrily thought and grabbed at his wrists. But he knew her body, she was carved within by him too and he willfully used it against her to get what he desired.

His hands, one metal the other flesh singed her warm skin, roughly they rubbed down her throat where he squeezed. The shock of it opened her mouth further allowing him better access. Bucky breathed into her mouth between kisses as his metal hand drifted down her thin dress to her breast and clamped down her nipple.

She hissed into flight and tried to jump away from Bucky but he held her in place with his metal arm wrapped securely around her waist. His hand dropped from her neck and then forced the hem of the dress up past the tops of her thighs. She was hot, but shook her head beseechingly anyway hoping he would relent. Bucky’s hungry glare consumed her expression as his fingers over took her underwear and slipped his hand to the cradle of her thick thighs.

His fingers slipped inside her. Bucky shot her a jeering smile while Awenha gasped at the fondling. It felt heavenly, but it was hurting her soul. Awenha shifted uncomfortably his palm brought her forearms to his chest and pushed. Bucky didn’t yield he continued to swirl two fingers over her clit. Awenha felt the fight starting to leave her. She tilted her head back against the wall as a long appalling moan pulled from her lips.

Passed the feeling in her groin, Awenha’s hands began to shake. She squeezed her eyes tight. A blast of color exploded behind her lids. Suddenly, cold swept through her. This was different, it felt different, he felt different. What was causing it, she didn’t know. But the effect was full throttle in sending her anxiety sky high.

Her eyes flew open in fear and stared at Bucky.

Lips trembling she said softly. “Stop” she implored.

When he didn’t her head rolled back to the wall. She couldn’t breathe. At least that was what it felt like when she tried to draw a breath. From the corners of her eyes the shiny metal to her left, the wall, yellow and flowers painted on it to the right. And Bucky, an immovable mass that trapped her in.

“Bucky..stop..” she mumbled.

Bucky saw her face twist into fear, something inside him froze in that moment. He withdrew his hands back up to her body as he tried to hug her but Awenha pushed on him. She wasn’t crying, but close and suddenly he felt the need to comfort her, to make her stay. He couldn’t let her go, not now, not ever.

Bucky cupped her face gently in his hands. “I moved too fast…” he whispered into her ear.

The banging realization that he was fucked up hit him hard. But the reality of it did nothing to pull him back from what he wanted. He had to make it right, somehow, rectify it—because if he made a mess of things, he would fix it. Had to, or else who could depend on him?

Feeling ashamed though still steadily focused he continued to console her for his tumultuous mood. Bucky planted kisses, light, longing pecks along her jaw.

“Please.” He whispered in her ear.

Bucky drew her wrists to his chest as he leaned into her, trapping her body against his. He tried to kiss her but she turned her face. Bucky laid his head down on her shoulder and he kissed and sucked upon her skin greedily. Not satisfied in the hold or the distance he held her shoulders and tried to prompt her to kiss him. But she pushed back against his chest in a fit of jerking motions.

“Doll, don’t,” he coaxed in the softest voice he could manage. He let go of her shoulders, his body still pressing against her his hands snatched up her dress.

“I said stop!” she shouted and then ducked from under his arms.

She clambered away toward the desk near the center of the small study. Almost out of breath Awenha held her hand out for him not to approach.

Bucky slowly turned, dragged his bottom lip between his teeth then licked it before settling on a grimace. If she only knew what Steve had planned. A slick cool calm coated his agitation, it was numbing. It allowed him to think more clearly, it smoothed out the edges of the crumpled mess they had made and to see it all laid out in front of him. With both of his hands he ran long fingers through his short hair as he stared at her. Steve was capable of taking what he deemed rightfully his. But so was he.

“Sometimes you look at me like I’m the best in the world.” she shuddered. Wet pebbles, thought Bucky, her eyes looked watery as she spoke. “And then there’s this…possessive, jealous man that comes out.”

Awenha’s hand dropped, her breathing finally steadied but she still appeared disturbed. Even as she readjusted her dress her dark eyes never moved from his frame.

“I can never be mad.” she said stuffily.

Bucky’s temper recovered mildly, the shame once again stepped forward at being discovered. But it did nothing for the longing, the part of him that never left the deep down primal need to ensure she never forgot twisted. He swore under his breath. Bucky tried to backpedal his thoughts, he attempted to give himself space in his mind that he didn’t need her so desperately.

Awenha could see his emotions bottoming out finally as the moment passed. His face and body seemed more relaxed now; more approachable now and she began to walk towards him.

But he was deceiving. Bucky wrapped his arms around her waist as his mind submitted to the greater influence. He picked her up forcing her to throw her arms around his shoulders and neck. He walked her back to the vibranium desk and lopped her down on it. She fell back knocking off a stack of books, papers feathered around her head, a few pens fell to the floor with her impact.

Awenha’s voice faltered when she stared aghast at Bucky. He unfastened his pants and stepped up between her thighs. He grabbed her hips and slid her down to his heavy cock. Easily he pushed her underwear to the side and entered her completely in one thrust. Awenha’s eyes rolled to the ceiling, her vision dipped at the sensation of fullness he brought with him.

“I asked nicely.” He groaned. “Didn’t I? I asked you..”

Awenha shook her head, drew her hands with her dress fisted tight back between her thighs.

Bucky hunched over her, grabbed her forearms securing his hold. The bumping motions of the desk could not distract her from the look in his eyes. It was dominance and power in them became her undoing. The expressions were interchangeable his blue eyes to the point that it sent her body toward the edge.

And with every thrust the pinch in his forehead deepened. But he felt electrified, Bucky felt like he had a million watts buzzing up his thighs at this act he had pressured her into. And when she shook with the uncoiling of her groin he felt vindicated. A dimpled grin emerged as he felt her legs shutter around his ribcage. Her walls sucked in around him with the flutter of her orgasm and he couldn’t hold back. It was too good, she felt good. And with nothing else to prove, Bucky let himself fill her hot core.

Sweat slid down his forehead to the tip of his nose. Bucky released her and put his weight on his hands on either side of her shoulders.

He hovered over her, still in her, as he stared at her. He felt the shame rise up once again when he noticed she would not look him in the eyes. He thought for a fleeting second that perhaps he should not have been so rough. And perhaps he shouldn’t have moved so fast, but for better men they could be patient but he was not one of those men today.

Their bodies parted and tucked himself back into his pants. She was quiet, disturbingly so as he leaned over and helped her into a sitting position. She pulled her dress back over her thighs. Still not looking at him Awenha stared distantly off to the right. Indignation was beginning to take root in her body language when he caressed her cheek. She slapped his hand away then hopped off the desk.

Finding each one of her shoes she held them close to her chest and before she walked out, turned to look at him. As predicted he was watching her again though this time he appeared relaxed. Disgust was written all over her expression as she turned and walked out.

“I’m going to pick up Azie.” She said softly.

Bucky appeared to be in a better mood when Awenha and Azie walked through the back door. He was a few feet away in the kitchen, half hidden by a stand mixing together salad greens. He stepped back stretched his neck smiled huge when his eyes landed on Azie.

“Hey buddy.” he said cheerfully.

Awenha turned to Steve, who was stepping into the kitchen with Stevie pressed against his chest and shoulder.

Awenha met him halfway. “There’s my baby,” she said as Steve handed him off.

“Alright, Azie—get to the table,” said Bucky, picking up the bowl he approached them and smiled at Awenha. Her face fell immediately.

Steve didn’t fail to notice the icy expression Awenha gave Bucky as he walked passed her to the table. An eyebrow cocked, and then he joined them as they pressed in around the table.

Bucky placed a small pile of salad on Azie’s plate.

“No chicken!” she yelled cheerfully. Bucky sat her plate in front of her with a fork. He leaned in and kissed her on the temple quickly.

“There’s beets on the plate I expect to see them gone.” said Bucky and waited for an answer. As he sat back he looked to Awenha hoping she had warmed up abit.

But she refused to meet his eyes.

Bucky’s eyes moved back to Azie she was happily chewing as she stared at the baby on Awenha’s shoulder. He gently tapped her on the arm until she looked up at him with a scrunched up smile.

“Ya, yaaaa.” she sang back.

After that dinner went on with light conversation. Though mostly between Bucky and Steve, with the occasional question from Azie. Awenha pushed her food around her plate took a few bites here and there. But she couldn’t find an appetite passed how shocking she found Bucky’s behavior to be. Though certainly it wasn’t new, by any means. But it appeared to be affecting her differently. Even as she tried to comfort Stevie, she sat back patting him and closed her eyes. Behind her lids, his eyes met her there.

The image reminded her of that terrible day.

And she knew to her core that she would wholly accept him again. Bucky was hers, after all. He had opened her up, waded into the dark parts that she kept hidden. But his was unrefined, that part of him was potent and had potential for destruction, treatment be damned.

When dinner was over, Awenha walked back into the kitchen with her plate in one hand and Stevie in her other arm. Just as she sat the plate into the basin of the sink, Bucky came over next to her he put his flesh hand around her wrist softly. His metal hand came to the other side of her face to press her head into his lips with a peck.

She wondered if he felt bad for the way he behaved. Did he know what it made her think of him?

“You okay?” He whispered in her ear delicately, almost tenderly as if he was afraid Awenha would yell back at him.

Bucky released her head and rested his hand on her lower back. Awenha wanted to be okay, she wanted to be content, but that would solve nothing.

“Yup.” She chipped off fast and turned to walk away.

* * *

“Hey I got our lot spacing-“

Awenha flinched so hard she dropped her tool with a shuttering clang to the floor.

“- for the King’s Festival.“ Yuki continued slowly.

“Damnit Yuki!” Awenha stepped back from the table. “Can’t you knock?” she snapped at Yuki.

“I did.”

Awenha turned her back to Yuki, covered her face waiting for her heart to stop beating so fast.

“Why are jumpy?”

The sound of her familiar voice gave her a reason to concentrate on something else other than the anxiety.

“Wenha,” said Yuki, squeezing between two giant cylinder repeater fillings that Awenha had been working on.

She was deep in the bowels of the mining facility. There on Shuri’s behalf to get a physical inspection on a failed uplink.

“Hey. You’ve been down here all day. If it was not for the beads—hey what is it?” she asked and began to rub her back.

When Awenha didn’t speak Yuki continued. “Remember when I refused to eat anything after my grandfather passed?” she asked and came in front of Awenha.

She nodded and gazed at Yuki.

“You dragged me from my home and brought me to the fish hut near the falls?”

Awenha suddenly chuckled at the memory coming to the surface of her inner discomfort.

“We got lost. You refused to use your beads-“

“So did you!” Yuki smiled and pointed at her.

“You said that if we need help to find our way then we never really discovered it.”

Yuki held her hands.

“But we should have used the beads, because we would have arrived faster and gotten to eat sooner.”

Awenha nodded slightly.

“Why are you so jumpy?” she asked.

Awenha unloaded. She told Yuki about Steve since his arrival. How his presence was taking more time to get used to than she anticipated. She cried to Yuki when she spoke about Azie and how initially she had trouble connecting with her father. And when the conversation shifted more to Bucky, Awenha went quiet for a few minutes to gather her thoughts. When she finally opened back up she whispered as though she couldn’t quite grasp the reality of her words.

“He’s moved backwards, Yuki. And I can’t heal or keep going forward because he brings me back with him.”


	13. Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: This chapter is longer and heavy. But I promise better times.- Their relationship continues to spiral to an ultimate point.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Reminder that this story is 18+!! :: angst, SMUT, dubious consent, anxiety, mentions of past assault, ptsd flashback.

King T’Challa opened Wakanda’s borders to the world, for the most part. Background checks were not negotiable, customs sweeps of course were required upon entering, and he only allowed one hundred to enter at any given time. But for the King’s Festival, an international event, more than one hundred and fifty countries were allowed to send representatives, celebrities, influencers to fill the halls of the visitor’s center.

There were a few new faces in their markets, in their equipment shops, and café’s. It was refreshing, though strange. With different nationalities, different customs it almost felt like being back in Brooklyn. Azie snatched her hand and squeezed it tight. Awenha glanced down, the girl was excited, all buzzing with unspent energy that sparked into a wide smile as she pointed.

“All of these people will learn so much from us,” she said cheerfully, with a dazzling smile plastered across her face. “People want chances, they get to learn more, and see how we live!”

“And where did you learn all this from?” Awenha asked bemused.

“The King. Books! And Dad lets me watch their movies.” she grinned. “So now I can ask his children if they have seen Alien!” Azie hopped as she spoke, fidgety always; the girl began to skip steadily ahead.

The pair of them was on the way to King T’Challa’s big cookout, as Clint put it, and they were bringing Azie’s favorite dessert kashata. Below the visitor’s center the park was sectioned off by lots for those who wished to cook, gather, and socialize.

Awenha watched her carefree daughter hop toward the garden nestled in between the towers of the center. Colorful tents dotted the green plain. Jubari wood crafted tables were spread out and surrounded by the new comers. By four o’clock the space was swathed in the fragrance of smoked meat, fried and baked bread, and alcohol, copious amounts of spirits.

Azie waved toward two boys and a girl who ran around a giant unfolding mobile jungle gym. Azie looked back once at Awenha who gestured for her to go join them.

Awenha approached the longest table, clearly the center of festivities as all other tables appeared to branch out from it. The King’s table had more people around it. At a quick glance she saw the archery expert Clint speaking with T’Challa with a beer in his hand. Laura, his wife, was stealing glances at him as she smiled while opening and sitting down bowls of food.

Sam was at the end of another the table, shorter with drink dispensers upon it, he was propped against tree as he spoke lively to Steve.

As she placed the large platter of the chewy bars her peripheral vision caught the shape of another person at the table.

“Good luck keeping Azie off this plate.” Bucky said casually and placed a peck on Awenha’s head.

“Oh, what is that? Looks tasty.” Laura stood on the other side of the wide table her eyes widening as she looked the dessert over.

“It’s kashata, sort of a peanut coconut brittle, but chewy. It’s full of sugar; your kids will love it.” said Awenha with a mischievous smiled parting her lips.

Bucky tugged at the ends of Awenha’s hair that grazed her back and he walked off toward Sam and Steve.

Things had been better between the three of them in the last week. Awenha had suggested he go back to therapy. While it was Steve, to her surprise, that reinforced the matter. Bucky joked that Steve too should have gone as well. Though Awenha secretly thought they all should go.

But it was mostly a mechanical response on his part. His anger had abated, at least he appeared to let petty arguments slide. Awenha had her doubts. Because no matter how cool and level headed he projected, he still was making a concerted effort to control how others perceived him. Especially when it came to how Awenha saw him. The quiet guy, the shy guy, the mysterious flirty guy of the 1940s had evolved into a possessive contentious lump.

If he was going to spill his guts to a stranger they would have to earn it first. And the more Bucky thought about what tortured him the more it bothered him. It was hard work keeping his mask enact and battling against the powerful thoughts that sent his emotions loose.

Bucky’s eyes lingered on Azie, playing with Clint’s children and then with a squeal H’Hrome joined with the anxiety inducing toy he hated. A hover board. A true, hover board—one that when stood upon could take the passenger at least one story high. But Azie was incredible on it, he had to remind himself, no need to caution her for the one thousandth time.

“Hey,” said Bucky courteously to Steve and Sam. He walked over to the table behind Sam and plucked out a cold beer from the icy barrel.

“How have you been?” called Sam. Dressed in colors of red and black patterns befitting the style of Wakanda Sam blended in well, thought Bucky. “Because I’ve been here for nearly two weeks and haven’t seen much of you.” He added.

Bucky shrugged and glanced at Steve before he chugged the first half of his beer.

Steve turned away and surveyed the landscape of people. “Lots turned out today.”

“I’ve been working,” said Bucky, it wasn’t a lie but lacked most of the truth as well.

“Well I’ve been waiting for that answer,” said Sam. “Are you coming back?” he asked.

Steve’s eyes were on Bucky.

“It’s not an easy answer,” started Bucky.

“We have kids, Sam,” Steve suddenly said.

The lightness of his posture changed, Sam stood tall as he spoke to Steve.

“I know,” he turned to Bucky. “There’s something else though right? I’ve known you two long enough. Things that bother you, bug me. So what is it?”

“We’re concentrating on our family,” said Bucky truthfully, though turned his eyes to the ground.

“It’s an odd arrangement.” added Steve. “Lots of moving parts.”

Sam chuckled. “I bet.” He said, and tossed his bottle into the bin.

He walked back over to the barrel and grabbed up another beer.

“So how is that working out?” he asked seriously.

Both Bucky and Steve were quiet, Sam caught the exchange of glances and decided to address Bucky.

“Bucky?” he encouraged. “Come on, talk to me old man.”

With the both of them quiet, Sam caught Awenha’s figure walking across the lawn. Dressed in eye catching yellow.

“Awenha looks beautiful today.” said Sam. Bucky peered over his shoulder towards Awenha as she spoke to Laura.

“She always does,” said Steve, who was staring at her as well.

“Both of you know that in a regular relationship there are hard times,” said Sam.

“I like to think that I know the two of you pretty well. You don’t give in very easily unless you trust that person,” he added.

“So do the two of you trust me?” Sam asked.

Both Bucky and Steve stirred but Bucky spoke up first.

“Of course Sam. I just- I think maybe what we have isn’t the same as you.” said Bucky, but wanted to say that they were well and truly screwed up beyond repair.

“Hey, we all have our own baggage. I had a lot of unpacking to do. And trust me it was not easy. And I had someone who kept me centered on healing, my sister. Eventually I found focus and trust in my decisions.” said Sam.

Bucky considered his words, rolled them around his mind. Who was the center of his life? He had been fighting since he was a kid and that had been enough to keep him grounded. Even when he was in deep with his emotions he fell back on the sturdy wall of military service to keep his mind off his thoughts. And now, all he had was his thoughts and time. Time to remember and consider every action he had done over the last fifty years as a weapon. And with those memories he only wanted to shut them out. But they weren’t to be ignored.

Sometimes he couldn’t believe two people as wholesome as Awenha and Azie could love him. But those were thoughts that went unshared, they belonged to him only. And Bucky always considered himself a collector of sorts, of moments, memories, and a couple of people in particular.

“Wenha keeps me sane.” he said after a long pause. “Otherwise it’s chaos in here.” Bucky gestured to his head. “And she doesn’t coddle me, which I respect.”

Steve shifted nervously, dug his hand into his pocket.

“So did you stop?” asked Steve. Both Sam and Bucky looked at him. The meaning was deeper for the two of them but Sam appeared slightly confused.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed at Steve. He couldn’t believe Steve was going to out his business. But instead of growing angry, like he wanted to, he decided to address right then.

“I can’t shake the feeling.” _Of Awenha belonging to me_ , Bucky’s thought continued the sentence in his head. “But then again, I doubt you have either,” he jabbed.

Sam looked between Bucky and Steve trying to understand the obvious subtext exchanged between the pair. But Awenha’s voice floated within the air breaking the tense moment.

“I said, the food is ready,” she called again.

The three of them turned to her, she was standing half way from them to the table. “You better get up because I think Clint is making quick work of the meat.” She laughed lightly and turned to see Laura yelling her children to come eat.

* * *

The warm blanket of night descended upon the crowd on the large dance floor. The sharp deep vocals of Wakanda’s premier singer rang out in rhymed pitches along with drums beats. T’Challa paired with Nakia danced close and intimately, while Clint snapped in rhythm as he watched Laura dance. Sam spun a pretty woman in lilac around the dance area. Awenha laughed as she watched him, the overt flirting nearly embarrassed her to no end. By the end of dinner the close friends of the King came to join in. Couples and singles mixed with each other in pleasant exchange as they enjoyed themselves.

She sat next to Bucky on a stone bench with his he metal hand wrapped around her lower back. From within the crowd Steve emerged with a smooth smile upon his lips.

A familiar smile, she thought, one where he used for moments just between them. Heat rose from her chest to face in a flash. Bucky must have noticed the change in her expression. His metal hand squeezed her tighter to his body. Awenha broke the gaze with Steve and looked at Bucky. He staring at Steve, disgruntled to say the least and it did not relax a bit when he came to collect Awenha.

Steve grabbed her hand, heart racing out of her chest he pulled her to him into a close swing. The song moved fast, and to her surprise so could Steve. Although, in his own way with loose shuffled steps that allowed him to hug her close at times.

Bucky bristled at watching her dance with Steve. He fought it, god knows how hard he tried, not to get jealous but it was happening.

“Bucky are you going to drink that or keep it warm?” said a man. Bucky tore his eyes from Steve and his girl to the commanding man at his right. Nick Fury, dressed in black with splashes of color sat down near the bench.

He turned his head back toward the crowd and tapped his boot to the beat.

Bucky slammed back the strong drink, and then pulled a bottle from under the bench poured half the container into his cup then drank that quickly. Nick watched him carefully and certainly aware that getting drunk for Bucky was unlikely unless he downed the whole bottle.

“Whoa, slow down.” Nick leaned forward and wrenched the high proof liquor from Bucky.

Bucky swayed in his seat but he stood up anyway which made him sway more. And he began to walk into the crowd. He nudged by couples as the song changed tempo into a slower beat. A love song Bucky had never heard before but the lyrics made him feel nostalgic for a time long in his past. Then he saw her there buried in the crowd looking worried as she hesitated to take Steve’s hand. He watched Awenha shake her head as she moved to walk away Bucky caught her around the waist smoothly spinning her into his able arms.

His eyes searched her face, resting finally on her lips and he kissed them. Bucky legs moved back and forth pressing Awenha against him. He took her right hand and raised it to the side as she rested her right on his shoulder. They swayed together as the beat set the pace and they both never looked away from each other’s eyes.

This was her favorite Bucky, she thought, the gentle man she fell in love with, the one with the power in his gaze to read through her. His right brow lifted mischievously as Awenha felt his left metal arm glide down her back to rest half on her lower back and rear. Blue eyes seemed dazzled and glossy but he danced steady enough, but it could not cover the smell of liquor on his breath.

She stroked the stubble of jaw with a small smile on her lips. Bucky’s eyes grew serious as he stared at her, and then moved into lust when his hand dipped further. Most would have not perceived his actions save those who might have been watching. With an eager grin his squeezed and returned to his previous position.

He dipped his head in to kiss her once more, this time longer and deeper as they moved together. Bucky put her hand on his other shoulder and his free hand held her between the shoulders. He wanted to feel her against him and he pressed Awenha in. He pushed his fuzzy beard against her cheek then his lips at the shell of her ear.

“I’m in love with you, doll.” Bucky’s husky voice hushed into her ear. Awenha felt the shivers start there and cross her shoulder blades.

Her nose met the skin under his jugular vein where blood pumped fast and leaned into smell his skin. The sensation of her subtle touch provoked Bucky to push his hip into her. Nothing has meant more to him since he came to Wakanda than her touch. He wanted to bottle the feeling she made him experience and use it on a rainy day. Bucky had never been excessive in his past life, for anything, but Awenha reminded him daily that he was in the midst of obsession.

He did not care if it hurt him, the continuous thoughts about what would happen if he lost her, Bucky just wanted all of it all the time the good and the bad. Awenha responded under his touch just as much as he did. And yes, he used those responses against his better judgment, but with purpose he felt justified. Bucky never wanted her to forget him, even if he was not perfect. He demanded she notice him, sometimes for the worse.

Bucky wandered how long it would take before she discovered how selfish he was. But then again, whatever made her happy he was on board anything to keep her adoration was enough. Anything to keep her looking at him, keep touching him, and loving him.

Before the song could end he took her by the hand and led her out of the crowd toward their seating. He sat down then pulled Awenha into his lap, his metal hand gripped the fat of her thigh keeping her in place on his leg.

“They’re being gross.”

Both Awenha and Bucky looked over at Azie who was standing near Lila with a disgusted expression.

“That’s love.” said Clint walking up.

“No, she’s right. It is gross.” Sam chimed in as he approached with a drink and a date.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be Sam?” Bucky cocked his head at Sam, annoyance and perhaps anger rose up unintentionally.

Sam put his hands up as if to signal a truce. He wrapped his large arm around the beautiful woman as they walked off.

“Lila wants me to come to their house. Can I?” Azie walked over to her parents and completely ignored that her mother was nuzzled on her father’s leg. Her dark eyes looked at Awenha first, then to Bucky with large pleading eyes.

“Azie we have to make sure it’s okay with-“ Bucky began but he caught Clint’s wave to them.

“Hey we have a whole situation going on over there. The kids are going out of their minds with this place, they keep asking for Azie to stay the night.”

Bucky glanced up to Awenha before he spoke, she looked ethereal and he considered it would be perfect for night alone with her.

Bucky looked back at Clint and nodded.

“Sounds good to me.” Bucky added.

“Yes, I think it will be okay. Let me go lay down some ground rules.”

Awenha stood from Bucky’s leg straightened her dress and walked off with Azie.

Clint pointed to the chair near Bucky as if to invite himself to sit.

“So not to get too into your business,” Clint began and Bucky barely turned his head away from the direction Awenha walked. Instead Clint was met with a half the attention. “But I think I see some things.”

Bucky fully turned to Clint, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Did Steve say something?” he asked, and kicked a leg out.

“Ya, he did. He thought you might take it better from someone who volunteered to do bad shit.”

Bucky did not stop him so he continued. He wanted to hear what Steve was there mouthing.

“So there isn’t any trick to it. You have to work through it, every day, and know what sets it off. With me, my family did it; I was constantly worried something I did would come back on them.”

“What I did, I never volunteered to participate in.” said Bucky levelly, keeping his cool.

“I get that. But it’s still stored in the same spot in the mind. It does the same damage.”

Bucky’s eyes moved to the ground.

“Like with me and Laura. I was a mess at first, and I can’t imagine with your circumstances that it would be easy. Sometimes I blamed her for being naïve, it wasn’t her fault though.”

Bucky’s blood began to boil at the mention of Awenha no matter how subtle. He felt sick too with the thought that Steve had said anything to Clint about what was occurring in their home.

“Look I think it’s natural to take feelings out on those closest to you. But you won’t like if it comes back around.”

Bucky stood up suddenly stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his pants he looked over at Clint.

“Thanks for the chat. Have a good night.” he said abruptly.

Bucky practically stomped as he walked from the gathering. Burning with embarrassment, cool wind hit the wet spots of his thin shirt where sweat had gathered. The fucking balls Steve has, thought Bucky. And so what if he and Awenha were having rough patches, yes he was having a flare up of sorts with the past. But that didn’t mean he was unstable, like apparently Steve had been telling people.

Bucky’s spine quilled at the thought of other people knowing his inner feelings. He felt exposed. The spilling of vulnerabilities that belonged to him had Bucky swearing under his breath.

He walked to the edge of the visitor’s center park and stood under the light of the moon. He pulled and bit at his bottom lip and allowed the darker thoughts to bloom. Bucky attempted to think through it all. He no longer wanted this to have power over how he reacted. It was a mistake, just move on, he told himself.

Within Bucky his insecurities had a small voice and in moments like this it only had one thing to say; a broken man with a broken mind.

Giving in to it, Bucky allowed his anger and embarrassment to take over. He banged around his thoughts about what else Clint was not saying. It could not have been all. Clint and his family had been here for days already allowing for plenty of time for Awenha to voice concerns too. Bucky threw his head back at the sky and inhaled deeply for a moment as he realized it was most likely _her_.

Dropping his head back down another thought popped up that did not blame her, but thanked her actually for seeking to vent to someone other than Steve.

He stiffened up suddenly at the feeling of warm hands around his waist. Awenha came around to face him. Pearl light shimmered over her brown skin giving her an unearthly glow. She beamed up at him hoping for the same, and when he did not her expression slipped.

“Are you okay?” Her voice sounded small, almost a whimper of hurt in it but Bucky ignored it.

Continuing to deny her a response he walked away.

“Bucky…”

He did not hear her foot steps behind him which prompted him to turn on his heel to face her. She was hugging herself suddenly cold in the warm night air. Bucky was not concerned with her comfort.

Awenha could barely make out his face but she sensed his irritation at what, she could not decipher. But she was sure the only reason he turned was to make sure she followed. A sigh left her lips at the potential this energy had when they got home.

Shaking her head Awenha started walking and passed him down to the path in the direction of their home. He walked behind her for about ten minutes, watching her hips sway and thinking that her time could have been spent better with him rather than strangers. He tried to rid himself of possessive thoughts to no avail. It only seemed logical that what happened in their home should stay that way. Why couldn’t she understand that?

Closer to their home Bucky caught up to Awenha who suddenly slowed when he placed his metal hand on her back. She ignored his touch, his mood. Awenha looked to the ground confusion settled in but decided that she was not going to deal with him tonight. The thought of a good cuddle from their bed sounded a much better option than an argument.

He stepped aside to let Awenha enter their gate first and repeated the same action as they walked into their home. It was dark save for a small lamp in the corner of the sitting room. Awenha hooked a left as they stepped in toward the bedrooms.

Half way down the hall she spoke over her shoulder. “Steve is on his way home with Stevie.” she muttered, mostly as a warning.

“Why are you talking about me to Clint.” He asked.

The confusion deepened. Awenha turned she saw Bucky standing there with his thumbs tucked into the waist of his pants. He met her gaze with eyes fiery for a fight.

“Did you hear me?” he demanded. She did not miss the volatile pitch.

Her eye brows traveled nearly to her curly hair line as she checked his tone.

“I won’t put up with it,” he added sharply and began to walk toward her slowly. His eyes narrowed toward her. She had trouble figuring out if his expression was one of threat or lust.

“I haven’t-“ she croaked, taken back that he would accuse her of violating his trust.

Bucky did not stop his approach when he noticed Awenha stepped back from him. He ignored it.

“I can speak to whomever I please Bucky about anything I please.” she began strongly. “But for the record, I haven’t said a word about you.” she admitted softly.

When he said nothing in response Awenha walked away down the hall to their bedroom. He chewed at his bottom lip as he considered her. Not one to let it go Bucky decided to push her more, get under her skin.

Bucky followed behind her, Awenha swung open the door while pulling pins out of the sleek bun atop her head.

She restlessly glanced back him, her shoulders were slumped like the weight of his stare was pressing down on her. “Bucky I want to lay down before they come back.” she said from across the room and then pulled the dress over her head and kicked her sandals off.

Bucky stopped at the threshold, her thick body caught his attention. Light eyes darken to gun-metal in the lamp light. He started from the smooth skin of her shoulders, rolled down the curve of her spine, when she moved to the side he greedily took in the swell of her breast and dark areola.

She slipped over a short nighty and tossed her hair until it spilled in lumpy curls over her shoulders.

Awenha turned to the bed and startled when she realized he was still standing there. Her face relaxed back to the tired expression. She thought he had relinquished the fight and left. But he was watching her again with that despondent air about him.

With his eyes still on her Bucky pulled his shirt over his head balled it up and threw it at her. The shirt hit her in the face and fell into her hands.

“What’s wrong with you?” she said in a tired voice and tossed it to the floor.

Awenha rubbed her face until her fingers slipped to her mouth.

“You know what, never mind. I don’t want to fight.” she surrendered, and moved toward the bed but Bucky started to walk toward her.

“Who said anything about fighting?” said Bucky, standing now in front of her blocking the path to the bed.

She blanched at the tight honey-kissed skin pulled over the sleek muscles of his chest. She tried not to look him in the eyes, because it was there she would lose the fight completely. At least now, staring at the light swirls of chest hair she could concentrate, partially. But her eyes continued to travel down to his underwear poking out the top of his pants and the delightful thick veins of his abdomen leading just below them.

That was a mistake, Awenha closed her eyes and attempted to get the image of his body out of her mind.

“Baby doll.” He said sweetly. “Look at me..”

Internally she groaned at the tone he used. It was the sweet devastating sound he would unleash when he was softening her. And it was working against the fight she was putting up. Bucky’s hands swept over the backs of her arms urging her to him.

Her eyes traveled up from his muscular waist, to his chiseled chest, thick neck and finally to his eyes. They had gone dark as they floated over parts of her body and with his touch brought an ache that burned within her. She wanted this image to be pure. That he was honest in his approach, but with the light peck turning into a passionate kiss she knew better.

He tasted the flesh of her mouth and then pressed his lips harder onto hers.

 _She gave in_. Bucky’s hand glided down her back and over the soft night gown. He tugged at the hem and pushed his hand under her panties. Gripping her ass hard he dove into the front with the other, hooking her in his grasp and forcing her to brace against his shoulders.

Bucky rubbed and slid his fingers inside her. She looked up to his face, half begging to be released and the other half pleaded to give her release pained her expression. Bucky’s eyes were surprisingly calm as he gauged her reaction. Her mouth hung open, panting breath of liquor and sweets, her legs shook with the flex of her thighs. A victorious dimpled smile emerged on his lips. He loved that with his touch she could not control her body.

He withdrew his hands and wiped them on his pants staining them with wetness. She dared not part her eyes from his face when she swayed slightly and flopped on the edge of the bed. Bucky stepped up to her, using the sides of his knees he pushed her legs wide open. She didn’t speak, she stayed still with her hands gripping the taut brown skin of her thighs. And she wondered how deep his hurt went. Even as he rubbed his flesh thumb across the bottom of her mouth, a sensual act, but within it a hardness she couldn’t ignore. He towered over her, lids heavy, he peered down at her and she felt wholly captured by their shared desire.

With a click of his metal hand he unbuttoned his pants, with the other he sunk his thumb into her mouth. Passed her full lips, she sucked, wantonly while dropping her eyes to the motion of his pants hugging the muscles of his thighs.

“You have a beautiful mouth.” He said softly, his finger slipped from wet lips to her chin.

Nudging forward Bucky’s eyes held her gaze. He gripped it hard pulling her toward his groin.

Awenha complied with the motion of his flesh hand gliding from her chin to the back of her neck. Never breaking eye contact she felt a rush from between her thighs as he gasped in delight.

Away went the anger, frustration, and resentment he felt earlier with every pump of his hips. Bucky only wanted to feel this wave of pleasure, the complete all encompassing experience of having her right where he wanted her.

Bucky felt her hand on his thigh and with his metal hand he twisted her wrist away. The faster he pushed and the deeper he dived Bucky couldn’t stop chanting in his mind: _she belongs to me_.

Unable to wait one more minute Bucky withdrew from her mouth, pulled her up by the forearms and kissed her hard. Awenha did not protest, even if she did, Bucky was not sure he could stop anyway. Every inch of his body tightened at the thought.

* * *

_Colors of teal, magenta, and tangerine varnish the landscape before her. She’s never been here before. And yet as the landscape melts to gray, black metal, and blue poured concrete, it is familiar. Pain and suffering are here. Screams rattle through her with frightening vibrancy. Awenha dug her toes into the unforgiving stone._

_His screams. Bucky’s screams tear through her tattering the edges of her being._

_And then she lay upon a floor. She knew this moment. Somewhere it had always been, in the back of her mind or willfully forgotten it had never vanished. She knew when her eyes dropped toward the door he would be standing there. And he was. The same lost boy gaze trapped within a monster soldier, unknowingly cruel—he now knows he was. He had raped her._

_What was he doing now? She asked, but no answer was said. She knew the answer like she knew his soul._

Awenha’s eyes shot open. She rolled over hugged the pillow between her body and the warmer larger body near her. Bucky.

Her throat felt raw, scratchy. Like she had screamed her way through the dream but had no evidence to prove it. The room was still. She was only left with this bloody tasting, swollen sensation at the back of her tongue. Her breaths steady to a deep sigh, unclenched her rigid fingers from atop the pillow and sat up. She hadn’t slept. Not well enough, she thought. It had been years since she slept truly and peacefully.

Awenha pulled the scarf from her head and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Her head swam with the images she witnessed. Within the darkened room she swore there were still hints of color at the edge of her vision. Like water color swirling, bright but opaque.

She rubbed her eyes, took one glance back at Bucky then decided to check on Stevie.

She passed Azie’s door. When she arrived at Steve’s room, the door was wide open, darkened but a pale light near his bed was enough for her to see the bassinet. Awenha glanced over Steve’s sleeping form as she moved into the room. She ignored the bristle of betrayal while seeing him lay there. It didn’t seem appropriate somehow, mixing the anger for Steve in with what she was feeling for Bucky.

Stevie, to her gratitude was sleeping. She swept her fingers over his cheeks staying for a few more seconds to ensure he was breathing.

A small light above the range clicked on as Awenha stepped into the kitchen. She went about making a cup of tea, but her thoughts were just as fluid as the water she poured into the mug.

It always ended the same. Bucky, his moods, his drive to rule over her. And coupled with Steve? It was an impossible situation.

Awenha waited the thirty seconds it took for the water to come to a steamy temperature, she tossed in a bag in and sat on the stool that emerged from the counter.

She slid a finger around the rim of the mug and thought about the dream. The beginning, she concentrated on the mountainous landscape of the dream. The colors reminded her of the dream world. They weren’t her dreams, she thought quickly, that image belonged to Bucky.

But the last, she shuddered when the vision of the winter soldier hovered in her mind. The fear of him chilled her to the bone.

Awenha took a sip of her tea she hoped it would warm her.

He wasn’t _that_ anymore, she reminded herself. No matter how much he liked to think he was hiding, she knew better. He was like her, using pleasure to cover pain. The sex, before it was unseen delights that she savored, it was intense, perversely entangling them within their own little world. Now, it felt _dirty_.

The previous night hung over her heart. No marks upon her skin, she could still feel it though, deep and tender. Personal evidence of his temper impressed upon her wrists and her thighs. And it plagued her heart to acknowledge that the encounter didn’t feel that much different than the ending of her horrible dream.

She resided herself to the thought that it was a process she had grown too used to. But it still refused to sit in her mind, no matter how much she willed it away the spark stayed, just waiting to combust.

She took the last lukewarm sip off the cup and went to take a shower. Hot water drummed over her body like the million little theories she used to distract her mind with. Thoughts of Azie, her power and abilities were showing now. Like her once, she thought, before it was buried deep within. And Stevie, the little love, what mysteries did he hold within?

But even as thoughts of her children poured through her thoughts, like a sieve, nothing much could be held on to. She immediately started thinking about Bucky once more. She had grown to depend on him. Ultimately she had gotten what she wanted, a family. And together they had made it through the worst of times, they helped each other. At least she thought they had. But he rarely spoke of the past and neither did she. You can still love a person and not know what truly hurts them, right?

Awenha pushed her face into the hot stream and held it there.

Love, how does it hold people together? She thought perhaps it doesn’t, love is the conclusion of coming together. But now it was barely enough to get by. The snapping, the animosity was stifling now. Who was she kidding? He was always intense, with an air of paranoia that tipped his possessiveness into obsession. It was nothing she couldn’t have handled, she told herself. Being consumed by a great man, an adoring warrior was more than she could have dreamed. A great love, like her parents.

She was different now. Felt herself slowly folding back into that shapeless form Bucky had found her as. And that scared her, he scared her.

Awenha stepped back from the stream and opened her eyes. She felt the nerves in her stomach twist. She hadn’t admitted that before. Hands hot from the near boiling water held her face. She tried to control her breathing, she hadn’t noticed the little puffs straining between her palms had become softer. Her chest tightened with an intensity like never before.

“Mornin’ beautiful.”

Awenha flinched at Bucky’s unusual chipper voice. She peeled her hands from her face just as he stepped underneath the water pouring from above.

Awenha studied him carefully noting his mood and the expressionless gaze of his eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” She suddenly asked ignoring the racing pace of her heart.

Bucky did not take his eyes away from her as he continued to spread the water around his body.

“Last night.” A beat past. “And–that day in the study instead of just speaking to me…you.”

He shifted fast as did the energy Awenha felt between them.

“I, what?” He challenged.

Bucky walked through the water to stand next to her. “What are you going to say?” Awenha saw the change in his eyes from blue skies to dark pupils. “SAY IT!” He shouted.

Awenha shrunk away, covered her breasts, and physically felt the anger in his voice.

“What do you think I did?” he asked again harsher.

His flesh hand reached out to grab her forearm but she quickly walked out of the shower. From the counter she grabbed a towel and she strode straight out of the bathroom.

Frantically, Awenha dried parts of her body as she walked to the closet door.

“Where are you going?” Bucky called from the bathroom.

Awenha fumbled the button to the closet. The door slid back, she needed it to go faster, she needed to be faster. 

She squeezed passed the door and pulled pants, a shirt by yanking them from the hanger.

By the time she retreated from the closet her eyes spun to Bucky. He had emerged from the bathroom still damp with a pair of pants on. His eyes dropped to the clothes in her hands and rose back to the panic in her eyes.

“You’re always running off to someplace, somewhere..”

“I have commitments.” She lied, and it showed. Awenha slipped on some underwear ignoring Bucky’s reaction. And then she pulled on a pair of pants. Bucky moved further into the room and she walked further from him.

“I have a life.” She said.

At that Bucky stopped where he stood and stared at her.

“And I don’t?” he provoked.

Awenha latched her bra with shaky fingers in the silence after. But it wasn’t the quiet urging her to be quicker, it was the sound of his voice. He was so obviously gearing up for a fight.

“That’s not what I meant.” she said apologetically.

Bucky whipped a hand through his short hair knocking drops into the air. He moved closer toward her but he noticed that she shied further away.

“Ya,” he started accusingly. “You were quick to move on like I never existed.”

Awenha popped her head through her shirt. “What? That-that’s not true!” she said, hurtfully.

She pulled the shirt down to her waist and tried to hold back tears.

“It’s not?” he looked around sardonically and gestured toward the door. Toward the direction of Steve’s room.

“I made a decision.” She said tearfully. “I committed myself to my son having a father-“

“To running away!” he said sharply and moved toward her, this time she did not back away.

“You know what our family means to me.” He hissed. “What you mean to me! And you make decisions like I don’t have a say. Did you even miss me?”

“I’m not running.” She shook. “And you do have a say! _You_ asked me about Steve, remember? That’s why he’s even here!” she shouted through her tears. Awenha stifled a sob, stepped back and pointed at him. “I thought about you eve-every day Bucky!” she stuttered.

“Then prove it.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. Bucky crashed his lips on to hers sliding his lips into her tears. She jerked back but he kept her there. He pressed his forehead to hers, willing her to give him peace. “Show me how devoted you are..” he begged.

She pushed him off her and he let her.

“That doesn’t solve anything.” She whimpered. He moved back, ran a hand over his mouth watched her.

“I just fell behind with you, didn’t I?” he spat and stepped back up to her.

“I missed you!” she sobbed. “I was doing everything I could think of just to-to hold myself together!” she stuttered.

“You ran away and dragged our daughter into it! You should have stayed here!” he blamed. “He would have never found you if you would have just stayed! And where are you going now? You’re running.” he accused.

Awenha shook. “I was needed there. You were gone!” She retorted swiftly. “And you don’t know the things I had to give up! What I’ve _gave_ up since.” she lamented.

“I supported you before! I still support you now!” he countered.

“When? Where? You’re suffocating! Drowning me out and now all I can hear is you! I’m a _ghost_!”

“I’ve always given you what you wanted.” he croaked.

“But it was always all or nothing with you!” she shouted back.

Bucky sensed she was on the move again and grabbed her arm. “Then fucking admit it!” he yelled. “Tell me you’re running away again. Fight for us!”

“Who wouldn’t run away?!” she bellowed, tears streamed down her cheeks and she rattled with anger.

He told himself he was crowding her, absorbing her space because she needed it. Bucky tried to hug her to him, reign in the emotions he could see pouring out of her eyes. But she pushed back on him despite the soft touch he used.

“Maybe you liked me better when I gave in.” she cried, and pushed on his chest. “Made you feel better about the _mess_ of your own life!”

Bucky stalled ripped her up from him by her forearms and locked eyes with her. “I didn’t ask for this..” he said low. “I didn’t want to be a prisoner,” he squeezed her harder. “-to be some fucking lab rat for a bunch of Nazi’s, stink in ways you couldn’t believe because they wouldn’t let me be human being.”

Awenha jerked at her arms but he wouldn’t let go.

“I didn’t live through all of that just to stand here and let you-‘

She twisted her body in his hold and he slipped to re-adjust. Fear, real fear was now coursing through her veins.

“I swear to god.” He groaned, tried to hold on to her tighter as they tussled. “I’m not going to let you drag her around. I’m not going to let you take our daughter.”

Awenha froze. Face slackened with astounding hurt she simply stared up at him. He wouldn’t. No, Bucky _couldn’t_ consider separating her from their child. And then fury arose. Within her she pictured their life together catching fire and burning to ash. In those few words he spoke in anger carried all the way to love she had for him.

Awenha jerked back from him but he pulled her forward and miss-stepped in the scuffle.

“Stop, you’re going to hurt yourself,” he hissed warningly, gripped her tighter.

Their motions became entangled as he tried not to hurt her but to subdue. It back fired as Awenha yanked her arms and used her weight as leverage to pry at his grip but he did not want to let go. As she pushed his flesh arm away he stumbled on her sandals and coming back up he elbowed her right in the nose and mouth.

He immediately released her.

“Are—you” he began in a stuttered. “Wenha, are you okay?” he asked, stunned.

But she stood there quietly shaking with her hands hugging the lower part of her face. Dark eyes wide open she stared at the floor. When she brought her hands down, she looked at them covered in bright red blood and gasped.

A pained whine whimpered from her.

Bucky took a step closer, she didn’t flinch—she ran.

“Wenha!” Bucky called to her softly and in a matter of seconds he had caught up to her at the end of the hall.

Bucky reached for her, he missed and ripped the back of her shirt, the sound tore through her psyche. And within the space of a breath Awenha’s memory plunged her back to the day she first met Bucky, and then the fright of Steve. The fight, the assault, the pleading on her end and his inability to stop, the smell of his breath in her nose, the punch to her face all hit her fast, and hard.

She whirled around to Bucky, knowing it was impossible to out maneuver him, and began to fight. It would not be like last time she promised, Awenha would leave her mark or die trying her mind raged. She could not hear his voice or the see the ache on his face as he watched her kick and scream under his hold.

“Wenha, baby, please..” He tried to pacify. Bucky held on to her arms keeping her body close to him. She pushed against him and then yanked her body back. Awenha’s eyes were frantically searching for help and his heart broke. Like an animal cornered, her motions turned feral with shaking and jerking away.

“Wenha!” A strangled cry from him didn’t reach her, she continued to resist. Bucky pressed her body into the front door, by then she was like a live wire twisting, and the kick-back left him breathless. Worried and sick with grief Bucky thought if he could just halt her actions she would relax to him. His anger had long subsided. He knew the use of her love for him had met its end.

He dragged Awenha to the floor of their home as she continued to slap at his face, using her knee to create distance but it did not stop his body from crushing on top of her. Bits of endearment clipped from him, pieces of terms of affection landed on deaf ears. Tears poured from Awenha’s scared wide eyes, and they pooled in Bucky’s.

He laid his body directly on her using his flesh and metal hands to pin her to the floor. “Stop.” He hushed down at her as his legs moved from pining to straddling her. Bucky’s eyes roamed her tear streaked face. Blood from her upper lip smeared across her nose and right cheek and stained the inside of her mouth as she spoke.

“You don’t have to do this,” She begged through a bloody mouth. “I-I don’t want to die.”

“I’m not goin’ to hurt you baby,” Bucky quietly begged her to come back to him.

Moans of apology continued to whispered down upon her but Awenha’s eyes were lost, whirling indiscreetly to unseen objects behind him and never looking at him directly. Bucky knew that look, it was the same one he had often when he saw his past. Vacancy, loss of control—transported. And in that moment Bucky figured out what she was seeing because he remembered that moment too. 

Then he noticed how he held her, not like the angel she was but as a common hostile enemy combatant. Bucky cried out as he let her go and fell away and scooted against the nearest wall not daring to look away. His mind flashed back to when he remembered what he had done, when he felt absolute misery in what Zemo had committed him to. She appeared nearly the same way on the floor now, the image of her disheveled form burned into his memory.

Awenha curled over on her side and she wept; through his horror, Bucky was instinctively drawn back to the love of his life.

“Oh baby,” He said with a teary deep voice.

Awenha flinched so hard that in her rushed to get away she slipped on her torn shirt. The feeling of being captured had her yelping. Bucky held her shoulders as she shuddered hysterically. He stroked the tops of her shoulders, hushing in a lulling stream willing her back to him. Attempting to soothe her back to reality he brushed her curls from her face but she turned around and tried to slap him but he caught her wrist with his flesh hand.

He released her, allowed her to crawl away.

“Stop!!” she screamed and cried. Wobbly Awenha stood and Bucky followed her to the sitting room.

Bucky was back in front her when Steve came clattering in. Wild eyes shift from Bucky to Awenha. He saw Bucky in just a pair of pants; he was holding Awenha’s face in his hands as he tried to talk softly to her. Steve’s eyes moved down her back, torn shirt barely covering her modesty. But she was not responding to his words Steve noticed, instead she begged for him to stop. Steve had to blink several times to understand the situation.

It wasn’t until his hands fell from her face, he could see blood. Steve lost it. He rushed over to her.

“Let go of her!” Steve yelled and he pulled Bucky’s hands off of her shoulders.

He shoved Bucky out of the way and grabbed her by the arms forcing her to look at him.

“What’s wrong? Did he do this? Talk to me sweetheart…” said Steve, desperately.

Awenha glanced up, blinked and again what little sanity she had left crumbled. Steve, imposing as always, controlling like clockwork, rocked her spirit further. His hands moved from her arms and held her face in the cup of his hot palms. He cradled her head, hoped she would talk but she didn’t. Tears flowed and her face wrenched into sorrow. She tried to pull away from him. Shaking her head she attempted to step back, and while he didn’t let her go he walked with her.

“What happened..” asked Steve again.

He jerked his head to Bucky. He was silently crying with his eyes focused on her. “What happened!” Steve shouted.

Awenha jumped, she wailed until he let her go. She ran through the kitchen, touched foot into the dinning area, and stumbled into the study. She whirled around, they hadn’t followed, and slammed the door. She locked it, took a few steps back until her head hit the side of the bookshelf.

She slid down the length of it, clutched her shirt into a ball in front as she listened to Steve and Bucky’s soft voices from the other side of the door.

She felt wide open. Raw and uncontained emotions hit every nerve and memory she never wanted to think of again.

And as she sat there, motionless, she couldn’t help but think that after this, she would never be the same again.


	14. Ruby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Bucky and Steve follow her lead.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Reminder that this story is 18+!! :: angst, mentions of past assault, flashbacks, dubious consent/non-con

Awenha had her legs folded in front of her, hands loosely clasped upon her thighs, and her head leaned against the bookshelf. Yuki had never seen anything like this in her friend before. She huddled next to Awenha’s side. She studied her vacant expression and the dried blood around her nose and upper lip. The occasional blink in a long drawn out stare was the only indication she was aware.

Tentatively she stroked a bunch of curls away from her face.

“Awenha?” she asked softly.

She heard shuffling at the door and turned to see, she hoped to Bast that the two soldiers would do as they were told and stay out. The only good they were useful for was lock picking and making babies as far as she was concerned.

Awenha shifted drawing Yuki back to her. Her friend lifted her head and looked Yuki in the eyes.

“He was upset when we walked home.” she rasped, Yuki thought the tone of her voice sounded like two bricks rubbing together. “He went on about Clint—blamed me about speaking to him on the situation in our home.” She coughed to clear her throat as she continued. “I let it go. He didn’t. I got the worst of it.”

Yuki put her hand on top of Awenha’s and listened.

“And this morning…” Awenha started to cry and held her mouth as she whispered through her fingers. “He was so angry with me. I wanted to talk to him about his moods. But by then I was so upset it came out wrong—and he reacted.”

She sniffled hard. “And then I reacted.”

Yuki pointed to the cracking blood on her cheek. “Did he do that?” she asked.

Awenha shook her head slightly. “It was an accident.” She said thickly. “I was trying to get away, he tripped or something…”

Yuki’s eyes narrowed in on her. “Get away?”

“I know what that sounds like. It’s not.” She said and looked away into the office.

“It sounds like something alright. Every syllable of it is detestable. What is going on here?”

Awenha’s head fell and she looked to her hands, her fingertips were flaked with blood.

“I had a flashback. After this-“ she gestured to her face. “I remembered Berlin.”

“You have to get away from these men. Awenha, look at your state, your face!” she said quietly.

There was distant voices’ coming from the other side of the door and a bit of scuffling. Both Awenha and Yuki stared at the intricate carved wood and waited for someone to knock or to open the door. When that did not happen Yuki turned back to Awenha, she leaned in.

“This has gone too far Wenha.” She said softly. “You cannot be sure this will not occur again.”

Yuki was most likely correct. Bucky and Steve were dangerous both for her mental state and for theirs. She had been concerned for awhile that bringing Steve in would prove to be the worst. And it happened. Guilt for this decision swelled. She had wanted to be right but it hurt more that she had her children living in it too. And with Bucky, who she depended on to see them through it only threw it back in her face. It only made her think he wasn’t committed from the beginning of her choice. What was he thinking? What was he hiding? And then an idea bloomed.

Her face brightened a bit, a small pull at the corner of her mouth cracked a streak of blood on her brown skin. “Maybe I can get a glimpse.” She said with awe.

“You cannot read minds, be serious Wenha.” she worriedly said, still clinically observing Awenha.

“Of course I can’t.” she said evasively. “But there is a way. Like with Bucky’s treatment.”

“A lot of good that did.” she snorted.

“No, that did work.” She corrected hastily. “Shuri was able to use it to her benefit to remove the programming. Within the halo I could see his memories. With it I can see more of them. I need to know them, Yuki, and they should see me.”

Yuki appeared puzzled. “How are you going to get them to do this? If it is true what you are saying, then how do you get them to volunteer these memories?” she said with a sigh.

Awenha grabbed at Yuki’s medical kit. She opened it and pulled out a soft gauze plied it with saline solution and began to wipe her face.

“They will do it.” She said pointedly. “They’ll do it or I’m leaving.”

* * *

The sun shone bright through the kitchen, dining room and on to the two men perilously scowling. Both refused to look away from each other and their cutting eyes. Once Yuki was behind the door there was little conversation. They waited, albeit not patiently, but they hung on for her to reemerge and hoped this would end. Bucky leaned against the table, ankles crossed, an arm over his chest as he nibbled the skin on his thumb and stared daggers into Steve.

Steve felt it, he was propped up on his forearms nursing a cup of coffee at the open counter. He rolled his eyes stood up straight and shrugged at Bucky.

“What?” he said quietly. “You think this is my fault?” he pointed to the closed study door.

Bucky whittled at his thumb some more and said nothing. Steve took a few steps closer.

“This is on you. She was going along with it. All you had to do was hold it together, Buck.”

“You’re jealous.” said Bucky, spitting out a bit of skin.

Steve’s cheeks turned pink. And that strong jaw, ripe for a punch, rolled around slightly before he spoke. “I haven’t been envious of you in a very long time.” said Steve.

“Bullshit.” said Bucky and stood up. “And this isn’t on me.”

He turned to the windows but centered on Awenha’s nook, his eyes fell on the purple and blue satin pillows there propped up in the light. She had always loved that spot. But he hadn’t seen her sit there since they had returned.

“This is on the both of us,” said Bucky and turned back to Steve’s thin lipped glower.

“I’m going to tell her.”

Steve’s head spun. He thought about how Awenha would never accept him if she knew how they both discussed sharing her. How he limited her choices at every turn because in the end he wanted her to only need him.

“We don’t have to do that.” said Steve in a mollifying tone.

Bucky squared his shoulders, lifted his chin at Steve’s obvious pacifying attitude.

“Oh ya, that’s right. You wouldn’t want her to know too much would ya, Steve.” He said. “Just like old times huh?”

Bucky’s blood began to pulse through his veins. If it wasn’t for his heart full of guilt he might have hit him. And despite the wave jealousy that rushed through him, Bucky tamed it with awareness. Because Steve’s selfishness was on full display.

The silence between them was only broken by the skin of Steve’s fists clenching.

“I love her,” said Bucky. “I’ve loved her better than you. And I trust her just like she used to have in me. I let you talk me into that behind her back and it’s eating me alive. I couldn’t think straight, I doubted her. I hurt her. But you knew I would, right? You relied on it.”

“You wanted it too,” said Steve scornfully.

His tone, his contemptuous posturing bested Bucky’s stability. He rushed in front of Steve and pointed his finger in Steve’s face.

“I fucking trusted you more.” He shouted. “You! You’ve been my best friend since the beginning.”

Bucky rocked back, leered at Steve. “I let that fact get in front of the woman I love to the point I never asked her. I never really pried it out of her to what you did to her.” He said.

“I should have,” said Bucky, nodding his head. “I will.”

The door opened with a whoosh. Awenha appeared in the doorway, curly hair blown back over her shoulders, brows drawn in tight, with determination in her eyes. She looked over Steve’s stance, squared off defensively though surprised. And Bucky, he relaxed when he gazed at her but Awenha could feel the distance between them at her core.

She stepped out with Yuki behind her. “We need to talk.” She glanced at them both and pulled out a chair at the table. “Sit down.” She said.

She sat with her back to them at the head of the table. Yuki took the opposite end. Bucky came immediately and sat at her right. While Steve, slow to move, eventually joined her left once everybody had sat.

Awenha studied her fingers for a moment in thought. Her heart was racing but she carefully set her mind to the objective. She sighed and folded her arms over the table and looked between Steve and Bucky.

“Are you okay?” asked Bucky gingerly.

She appeared to soften to him before shrugging slightly. “I think I will be.” She began softly. “But I need answers.”

Steve glanced at Bucky. He was staring at Awenha.

“Okay.” said Bucky. “Ask, I won’t hold back.”

Awenha shook her head and stared at the table. “No. Not that kind. I need to see them.”

At that Steve leaned forward and rested his hand on his thigh. “See them?” he asked.

“My father and I created a device, a halo, which we used in Bucky’s treatment. You wear it.” She motioned to her head in a circle. “The two of you will wear the output versions and I will wear the input. I will be able to see your memories.”

“To what end?” asked Steve, looking slightly nervous. “You only have to ask me, I’ll tell you what-“

“No.” she interrupted. “You do this Steve, or I will have you removed from Wakanda.”

“What about Buck?”

Awenha shifted to Bucky, he was already nodding and pushed his hand across the table to her arm.

“I’ll do it.” He said eagerly, and with his thumb rubbed her elbow.

Awenha turned back to Steve and waited for him to answer.

“What are you going to see?” he asked.

“I will see you.” Awenha replied, while she too had hesitations of what awaited her in his mind, she acknowledged it was certainly needed. “Your life, specifically moments that brought the most emotional impact. Those tend to stick out, and they also shape who you have become. The two of you have become that for me. I think it’s a fair ask.”

She leaned back in the chair and continued to wait for Steve’s answer. But he was silent. He dropped his eyes to the table for a few seconds she thought he might say ‘no’.

“I’ll do it.” He said finally.

* * *

Awenha thought that she might have felt elated that they agreed. But as she studied the smooth vibranium device she did not. The only feeling currently sweeping through was worry; concern for what she would see and distress about how it came to this.

Shuri’s lab was cleaner, offered more space for the task today. Awenha sat the halo back on the hovering table and walked over to Steve. He was sitting in a sleek chair and reclined slightly back to ensure comfort. Blue eyes, dark—his shade of blue, she thought, were on her as she approached. He appeared surprising aloof until Bucky walked near him headed to the other chair a few feet from him. Steve’s arms rested upon the thin edge of the chair, his fingers curled over the end and he looked away from her.

Awenha stood above him, she placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “This isn’t going to hurt.” She said softly.

She turned to the tray near his head and picked up the flat dark metal halo. Placing two fingers on either side she pressed upon it until swirls of colors twisted and churned upon the surface. Small padded nodes for the forehead and temples slipped down. Carefully she held it above the crown of his head, slowly it widened to the shape best for him and slid it down over his long strands.

Curiously, Steve thought she appeared peaceful. Her nose and lip now mostly healed within the last few hours her eyes were bright as she roamed the device ensuring it was properly attached. He wondered what power awaited him. If it was a matter of strength then he could overcome it. But within the mind, how could he keep his secrets intact.

“So, what do I concentrate on?” he asked with a breath.

“You don’t.” she said, sensing he was fishing for an out. “It doesn’t matter what you are concentrating on. Your memories will be laid out, all of them.”

Unknown foreboding laid over the muscles of his body and psyche. Steve’s eyes stay upon her and her movements, now near Bucky. They spoke softly to each other and Steve didn’t miss how Bucky’s metal fingers gently stroked the length of her arm as she sat the halo upon his head. He veiled the fear with jealousy. Envy felt better, it kept him in the seat and set his mind on what he was about to experience. Steve thought of his favorite day. He gazed at Awenha’s profile and then shut his eyes tight. They needed each other, he thought, she and him were in love. A rocky journey for sure, but Steve knew that it could be more. He hoped this wouldn’t break them. His secrets were, after all, his to keep.

Shuri stood next to Awenha. Her dark curious eyes moved between Bucky and Steve. One brow slightly raised, her mouth closed in thought, concerned she looked down at Awenha.

“Cousin, there must be a better way.” She pleaded. “You’ve never attempted this with three minds.” She glanced over to Bucky, studying his relaxed posture.

“It will work.” She ensured. “Count it down.”

Shuri nodded, and stepped back to her station. Awenha had hard wired the interfaces from her father’s lab straight into Shuri’s laboratory portal. Ample power, completely supported by the mines of Wakanda would support this experiment.

Shuri pressed the activation button and looked at the three halos. The whirled colors increased, the metal shimmered as it increased power toward the moment it would plunge them into another world.

She hovered over the last sequence. “Three, two, one…”

Awenha’s eyes rolled in her head, she could feel them, clicking back and forth, slick and yet dry around the lids as she tried to comprehend the images she was seeing. Colors shattered before her, primary and the mix of them bombed her vision.

Not her vision she remembered. She always had to remind herself that it was in her mind and not out in the world. And as soon as she remembered, her figure appeared falling through the blanket of colors.

In her decent she concentrated on Steve, his life. Faces began to float in the colors around her. A blond woman, thin, but her green eyes were humble, caring. Awenha shifted to another face. It was her own.

“I want to see you.” her voice slipped out silkily and filled the space around her in a resounding echo.

The colors floated around her until they began to settle around into shapes. They gave way to a city, dirty, men walked busy on the street. Laundry dangled on rope held securely with wooden pins, they strung precariously between buildings in rows. Once her feet touched the pavement she stood in the middle of a sidewalks as people passed her. Awenha searched the crowd, and while her eyes skimmed the blurry faces fear hit her. Not primal and not the kind that comes with being hunted. It felt worn in from time and opportunity to fester into insecurity.

“This…this is something,” said Bucky stepping to her side.

Tall, broad shouldered, he carried himself with authority. He appeared brighter, his smile, just as effervescent as the bubbly way he spoke.

It was Bucky as he saw himself. And with the updated device, there was no need to help him present a man with full memories. But the emotion, or feeling she was experiencing wasn’t coming from Bucky.

From within the moving people coming toward them, it parted slightly, leaving a thin man approaching them. He stared at the concrete, swept a hand over his parted hair and fisted a hand in his high waisted slacks.

The man stopped and looked up at Awenha. His intense gaze while soft remained just as fierce as she remembered him to be.

“This is from my memory.” He said.

Gone was the man who was forever imprinted on her mind as a patriotic statue. It was Steve, before the serum. And she felt him, the pool of emotions he kept hidden underneath all that prestige.

He pointed at the faded sign above them, and then gestured toward the window.

“Russell’s Bakery.” said Bucky.

Steve’s mind had taken them here, to this moment. Awenha stepped forward, feeling nostalgic and more efficient now with her ability, pulled the three of them through the scene as the city streaked around them binding at the edges with colors until it settled. They were within the bakery, days or weeks had passed in Steve’s memory allowing them to see a moment.

Bucky stood close to Awenha, but Steve he took a step forward with his mouth hung open. Awenha was hit with guilt, for what she did not know, she stared at Steve’s reaction.

He watched himself step into the bakery. Shy, but determined. He smiled at a pretty girl behind the counter. With a pink apron, pins barely containing a full curly head of blond hair, the girl with the glasses waved enthusiastic to Steve. She was pure, innocent and Steve smiled back at her, in his nervousness he knocked over a cup full of straws.

“Ruby,” said Bucky. Awenha turned to him but he wasn’t looking at her, his eyes were still on Ruby.

She sensed his apprehension; the bond between the three of them singed her senses. But it was Steve she felt the strongest. His base feelings drove them further into Steve’s history with Ruby. The scene changed Awenha stood near with Bucky and Steve at her flank.

It was a rooftop, in the middle of the hottest day of the year. Bucky, a young man and carefree of worry, lazily sat perched between the ledge and an exhaust vent, a dingy white tank, and a part of slacks were rolled up to his thighs. He reached over the smooth stone, plucked a cigarette from the pack and stuck it in his mouth, lit it as he spoke.

“ _So talk to her_ ,” he mumbled with a shrug.

Steve sat below Bucky on the floor of the roof, his pants were rolled up too with a threadbare tank top barely covering his boney chest. He leaned back against the warm bricks and drew his legs up. He stared up at the night sky and stole sniffs of Bucky’s thick white smoke. Somewhere a baseball game echoed passed the last of the days laundry, kids playing, and the bustle of life in the borough.

“ _Easy for you to say,”_ said Steve wiping the sweat off his upper lip.

_“’Can’t say she’s that cute. But hey she’s keen for ya, should be easy enough. Just say, can I take you out?”_

Feeling a bit more confident, Steve looked up at Bucky he nodded with a broad smile. _“I’ll try, just give me some time.”_

 _“And she’s beautiful by the way. You just can’t see it.”_ Steve chuckled.

The Bucky to her right shifted, as she turned to him the scene changed once again sweeping them into a darkened alley. Wet from rain, the brownstones dripped around them and reflected the light pouring from the back door of the bakery shop.

Awenha heard scuffling, desperate moans mewling ever so softly over the traffic driving by and into the evening moist air. Behind a dumpster, she could see heads moving one with dark slicked back hair and the other light caught the frizzy strands of yellow.

“ _See, kitten_.” Bucky grunted. “ _Just a little nick_ ,” he groaned. “ _Doesn’t hurt like you thought_.”

Next to her Steve appeared, the dream world variety took a few steps near the two lovers. Awenha followed behind him and witness the two entwined. Bucky’s pants drifted below the band of his white boxers, his waist was buried in between Ruby’s thick legs. The young women’s fingertips clung to his shoulders, eyes squeezed shut she rocked up and down the wet bricks with every short thrust. Green gartered socks hanging on for dear life as Bucky’s hands moved from the stone building to underneath her dress. He wrapped his hands around her ass and continued to rut into her.

Awenha looked back at Steve and Bucky. She wasn’t surprised to see that Bucky now refused to watch the scene play out while Steve, stood there gazing back at her. Betrayal stung deep within her until it grew to rage, it lodged in her chest buried itself in her soul. She resisted it. That pain didn’t belong to her. It was Steve’s she reminded herself and it wasn’t her job to heal, she just wanted to understand him.

The scene changed once more. It presented before the three of them as images of moments. Steve crying into his pillow, Steve angry and trying to punch a hole in the wall, Steve watching Ruby far too closely at the bakery. The rage resided to wrath, a silent killer in the mind of the insecure. And then the scene settled to a room. Light colors of pink, and lima bean green. A girl’s room, a well taken care of young woman’s room, with a vanity and a brass twin bed. Steve was there, on the fire escape, he opened the window to her room and let himself in.

Awenha stepped from Bucky and Steve. Anticipation fed the yearning hooked into her heart.

“I’m not this man anymore,” said Steve. Awenha ignored him partially; she couldn’t disregard his feelings, and watched as dream-world Steve crept to the girl’s bed quietly. He stared down her figure covered by a poppy flowered blanked. She felt his craving, unhealthy with its attachment. Though with young love it was often this, but with Steve it was dark, deviant in its expression. And as he continued to scrutinize her face, the soft lines of her neck he rubbed a hand over the growing mass in the front of his slacks.

“ _You won’t mind this, but it should have been mine first. Ruby_.” He whispered.

Steve quickly unbuttoned his pants and drew out his cock. He threw open her blanket revealing the thin cotton night slip hugging her thick figure. Steve stared at her large breasts, the pink nipple just underneath and stroked himself. Awenha’s eyes widened, bigger and bigger until she felt like her eyes burned with shock.

He slipped the pillow from underneath Ruby’s head. She began to stir and Steve pounced. His nerves ran rampant he became sloppy—he fumbled with the pillow and then pushed it over her face, yelps erupted so he pressed harder and jumped on top of her. Awenha moved half to the bed, held her hand out in hopes to stop him. But he pulled at Ruby’s nightgown scrapped at her underwear. And with his grip fast around his cock he shoved himself into Ruby’s tight cunt.

Steve stalled at the feeling, so lost in the sensation of her warmth he pushed harder onto her face. Awenha wanted to feel sick, by this time Steve’s emotions were so strong all she could sense was delight. Ruby jerked her body, she writhed underneath his hold but as Steve began to pump she seemed to slacken some. He didn’t last long though he wanted it to last longer. He needed her to feel him forever if he could. Just how strong he could be and how devoted he was willing to become. Steve began to imagine a life with Ruby where they could do this every day. Steve’s hips stopped when he came inside her. By then she was limp. While still inside her, he removed the pillow to see her pale face blue lipped, and lifeless. He jerked away, dropped the pillow to the floor as he hopped off the bed.

Steve stood there, pants around his ankles staring at Ruby’s near naked used body in horror.

“What the hell,” said Bucky behind Awenha.

Awenha startled at Bucky’s voice. And then the scene changed to Steve, that same night, in his small room. He was crying, hugging the wall with his face folded into his thin arm.

Awenha saw his hand move below his waist. She didn’t have to see what he was doing to know. She could feel him, a tangle of sorrow at what he had done and the lust of being inside her.

“ _Ruby_ ,” moaned Steve's image. “ _I loved you so much. Ruby why did you have to go and do that…_ ” he cried.

Awenha’s mind spun as the scene shifted. The three of them appeared in front of the Russell’s Bakery once again.

“Christ, Steve,” said Bucky disgusted.

Steve said nothing, he did not move. And Awenha refused to look at him.

The three saw dream-world Steve approach, they were pulled inside by his memory. They stood near him as he walked to the counter. Dream-world Steve appeared gaunter than normal, with bloodshot eyes, and pink rimmed lids. And then he blanched completely.

Awenha looked in the direction he was reacting to. Panic rocked through Awenha. There was Ruby, pale, dark circles under her eyes. Steve started to cough, the hollow barrel chested coughing fit erupted from him in pants of pain. Ruby saw, she ducked back behind the door to the kitchen and then reappeared with a clear glass of water.

Steve could only stand there, his eyes staring at her in shock as she approached him.

“ _Here Stevie_ ,” Ruby said weakly. “ _Don’t go dying in here_.” She joked, and attempted a small smile.

Awenha stepped back, her eyes moved from her Bucky and Steve. The scene tunneled through memory around them. Moments played out in flashes of his singular tastes. A few more women became his victims until he accepted the serum. And then Peggy, who caught his eye fast and would have been a target but he would never have the opportunity to fulfill his desire. And then to the moment after he rescued Bucky, he drowned his sorrows in a pretty nurse who prided herself as a fighter. He broke her down, and the result sent her back to America.

And now there was just the three of them. Awenha stood quietly with her eyes shut. The three figures stood in colors. Awenha pushed back Steve’s emotions, until she felt herself again. And what a welcomed cascade of knowing, she thought. She never realized, despite the anxiety, how pristine she had handled her own traumas.

“You did that to Ruby…” Bucky said angrily.

“I was wrong.” Steve retorted. “Honest—Buck, I see how wrong I was…”

Bucky’s voice faltered as he moved toward Steve but that too halted.

“ _Why don’t we discuss your home_?” said a man’s voice. Bucky recognized it immediately and looked to Awenha. She was still, head bowed, hands clasped in front of her.

“ _Your real home_.” The man’s voice said.

Colors began to channel around them in purple and black, gold spilled in around Awenha’s form surrounded Bucky and Steve. The three of them journeyed once more into memory, though this time, it belonged to Bucky.

Fearful, Awenha opened her eyes, stepped forward passed the two of them and stared at the scene. It was from her dream. Though this time it was much more filled out to complete what she assumed.

“I’ve seen this before.” She said, quietly. “I think I took on some of your memories.”

She dropped her eyes to the cold concrete floor, Bucky’s scream drew her back to the center of the room. Imminent danger coursed through her mind. It wasn’t hers, she thought, this devastating plague of sorrow belonged to Bucky. With his screams, the mangling of his memories, voices began to curl in around the three figures. Awenha drew close to Bucky.

_I’m with ya till the end of the line._

_What you did all those years, it wasn’t you._

_You didn’t have a choice._

Bucky’s voice, though not from the man standing at her side echoed around them.

_I know. But I did it._

Awenha wasn’t relieved when the scene changed. A terrifying rush poured through her when she realized just where Bucky’s memories had brought them. They stood at the end of a narrow hall. White on white flooring and walls, sterile, that only S.H.I.E.L.D. could offer. Bucky’s hulking form began to run toward the door her dream world figure retreated into.

Steve, still thin ran too while Bucky stayed next to Awenha. Steve braced against the flat surface of the open door and stared inside.

“ _Stop_!” Awenha startled to the sound of her own voice floating out into the hall. The reaction turned the scene again, though this time the images were not of Steve they were of Bucky’s memories.

They were plunged into the depths of color until it settled. The scene was familiar, though it was covered in debris from a fight. Awenha’s eyes moved from the crumbling window frame to Steve and Bucky. She walked from the pair behind her and approached the doubles from the side.

“Awenha, haven’t you seen enough?” asked Steve, he went to touch her but she jerked her arm away.

Fear sharpened and honed like a fine tool pursed through her. Steve, his emotions covered her.

“This is important.” She hissed. “This memory specifically is strong within the both of you. I want to know why.”

She returned to the moment and the ever expanding emotions that came with it.

“ _What makes you think she would even consider it_?” asked Bucky.

Awenha looked up at Steve’s pristinely willful expression. “ _She will go along with it_.”

She turned and stared at her Bucky. “ _How_?” asked his double.

If she had a palpable heart beat within the dream-world it would have been firing off in racing beats. Instead, it became a feeling, an uneasiness within that threatened to crumble the experience. Crippled with doubt, Awenha glanced to the dream-world Bucky.

“ _You have to first_ ,” said Steve.

She walked to the figment of Bucky, she stared at his face. There was pain there as he watched Steve. “ _What do you mean? I’m standing here. I’m talking about it. What else is there_?” Bucky’s image asked.

She turned her head to Steve, behind him stood the dream-world equivalents, both quiet and both unnerved at the proceedings.

“ _Say it out loud_.” Said Steve’s double. And Awenha continued to focused upon the thin man that Steve had transformed into.

“ _Awenha will be ours_ ,” said Bucky.

Her eyes shifted to her Bucky and his pleading eyes.

“ _Awenha belongs to us_ ,” said Steve.

And now Awenha, along with Bucky and Steve were carried once again through the funnel of colors. The shades flattened out to darkness. With it came emotions of confusion and love.

Bucky, slinking around cloaked in darkness came to stand on the other side of the window. He stared longing above her sleeping form within her reading nook. The need to protect overwhelmed her. She felt belonging to something bigger than oneself. The sensation warmed her within. It felt honest, genuine, though darkened by possessiveness.

Awenha turned to glance at Bucky. He wasn’t watching the scene instead he stared at the grass outside their home as it swept and swirled with pale colors.

Their life together emerged from the center of the two of them. Color burst forth erupting moments Bucky had never wanted to forget. The birth of their daughter had been one of them. She felt pure adoration in that moment and pride. Awenha became transfixed on the image. She had never known what it would have been like to be seen through the eyes of another. And with such care. 

And as she watched, she wondered if Steve had this. Did he have a moment where he loved true?

The scene jittered, became awash with color and agitated about like a whirl pool of fading hues.

The colors jerked open and presented a view of Awenha, in her Harlem home. She recognized it immediately as a time before Steve became intolerable. With it came an influence of fondness, a bottomless pool that awaited to be drunk from filled her soul. Within the dream-world’s image stood Awenha’s figment next to Steve’s. They were in the kitchen making an apple pie.

She hadn’t realized this was a prominent memory for him. Awenha took a step closer within the multidimensional world that blended color with thought and emotions. She peered at Steve as he lovingly admired her with blossoming fidelity.

Her energy stalled at the feeling as it swept over her senses. It was stronger than anything she had felt from him. It wasn’t tainted like with Ruby. He allowed himself to love Awenha, she felt it. And the payoff was different than with the girl from the bakery, he wasn’t jealous he was humbled.

She stared at the dream-world vision and dove deeper into his emotions for her. The love was still wholesome but twisted to obsession when he only wanted a singular thing—family. Deprived of connection and arrested emotional growth stunted his views. He pushed down responsibility of his actions, justified them by telling himself he was doing it for Awenha. But she could feel him, he couldn’t hide. What he did to Ruby, and what he did to Awenha, it hurt him too.

Fathomless sorrow encased her. Awenha stepped back, she turned to her Bucky and Steve. And by the time she moved her eyes to them they felt it. Bucky clutched his chest, Steve hunched over and grabbed his knees. Awenha poured into them each other’s emotions, she let them wallow in it. She stepped up to Steve, his eyes wide with shock and stared at her in a daze.

She let them hang in limbo of hurt and joy before she released them. But she brought on her own, all the pain, terror, dark lust connected with trauma played in her mind and she gave it to them.

Bucky collapsed to his knees and grabbed his head. A silent scream pulled on his face as he scrunched up his eyes to her. Steve sprang to the wall, he held onto it with his fingers and took the hurt.

And by the time she had finished unleashing the pain they were little more than crying wounds. Awenha felt big inside, she felt like her mind wasn’t big enough for the three of them so she pulled it back within her soul. The sorrow faded and hope floated forward, the raging surge left her and replaced it with the warm blanket of love.

Awenha stepped up to Bucky’s kneeling form. Her unlimited love rushed into him, colors flashed within the dream-world image of the kitchen. It whipped around the three of them. Gold, silver, blues and yellows whirled pushed through Bucky and Steve.

Awenha moved from Bucky to Steve. He leaned against the wall, tears streamed from his eyes.

“Please…” he whispered. “I’m sorry.” he said.

“Let me give you some relief.” she said lovingly.

The plethora of hues struck Steve and moved through his image. She touched his soul, his mind, the eternal energy that was Steve Rogers and put her love into him.

She knew it wouldn’t be perfect. That what she had seen would not go unnoticed for any of them. But it was hope that kept her. What looked like a crumb of sanity within him was his prime motivation and the strongest part of him. And she could use that hopefulness, that Steve would be the man he truly was and not this crooked hearted boy of his past.

And Bucky, while loving could do so without possessiveness or demand she take in his dark. And perhaps he would feel the guilt, as raw and hurtful as it was, and effectively forgive himself for his past.

It wouldn’t be perfect. How could it? But she was willing to try.


	15. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions run high after the experience in the dream-world.
> 
> Chapter Warning: 18+ as always, SMUT

Awenha, Bucky and Steve emerged from the dream-world. She sat up and looked across the space at them in their chairs. As technicians removed their halos they both stared back with unspoken emotions haunting their eyes. Steve began to nod slightly, acknowledging that he too was struggling with the turmoil within. But Bucky, his eyes hard as glass shattered the moment he caught her focus. He hopped off the chair once his device was gone with her only in his mind.

“What happened?” asked Shuri at the control station. “Are you alright, cousin?” she asked again.

Bucky was there, tenderly helping her to a standing position. Awenha cleared her throat before she spoke. 

“Yes.” She croaked.“I’ve completed what I set out to accomplish.”

On the way home, not much was said between them. It was a good healthy silence turned inward toward insightful thought. Her skin buzzed, the electric sensation carried all the way to the center of her chest. And she was glad her children were not at home when they arrived to see her like this. She felt open again though this time it was freeing. Like she was willing to accept what the future held and take it without trepidation. 

Relief spread, she knew their secrets, their pain, and their history. And for the first time, they knew her too. Perhaps they gained more from it, she gathered. She knew the path they were on was one bound to self-destruct, and now they knew it too. And the experience still left her reeling in the aftermath and she imagined it was shaking them from within too.

Bucky opened the door to their home, Awenha stepped over the threshold followed by Steve. She stood in the sitting room in astounded silence. Burnt colored eyes swept over the floor for purpose in all of it. Steve moved to the bookshelf and leaned on it with his hand in his pocket. His reddish dirty blond beard smoothed down with a shaky hand and then pushed a few long strands out of his eyes. He glanced at Bucky as he walked in after shutting the door, and he shuffled between them. He sat on the small table in front of the couch and he immediately glanced at Steve, and then to Awenha.

“I felt you,” said Bucky, breaking the pliant silence. Awenha’s head swarmed with images from the dream-world, for the faintest second she thought perhaps she could still feel him. She nodded acceptingly and gazed at Steve. He wasn’t looking at her, but at the floor, biting his bottom lip as he thought.

“Now I know,”she announced softly, still looking at Steve. “Do you still feel it?” she asked. “Steve?” she inquired.

He pushed off the smooth wood and stood with his head still slightly bowed. “I felt it. I still feel Bucky,” Steve’s head rose and stared at her sadly. “I feel you, too.” 

His admission soothed the fear that was left. Fear of him and fear of what he might do. Like her, he could feel the crystalline tethers between them. It was an incontestable and an unblurred bond that they all shared. He wouldn’t be able to break it so easily. And like with Bucky, she felt his devotion brush against her own.

“I can’t hide from you,” Steve’s voice agonized as he continued. “What I am,” he said penitently.

The bond ran deep, she was drawn to them, became more compassionate to their guilt. She stepped toward them, stood almost between them as she spoke.

“You don’t have to, not anymore.” she reassured.

She glanced at Bucky, eyes glistening and a heart full of want. “Neither of you have to hide. As long, from this day forward, as we remain open to each other.”

Bucky’s icy blues lit up with wonderment and suddenly stood. “You still want this?” he prodded gently. “Even after what you’ve seen of us?”

On the point of the question she abruptly remembered bits. Steve’s face, tight with happiness as he gazed at her in the kitchen in Harlem. And the moments of Bucky’s kindness, his caring heart rushed through her, all of it hit her and it rattled her bones. Their loyalty was intoxicating. She felt high.

The intense dips and heights, the tight curves of riding emotions not her own was life changing. And the effect of it left her different, it spared her no sympathy and it left her body tingling to touch them.

“Yes,” she mumbled, and fell into Bucky stringing her arms around his neck. And when he enveloped her the biggest, fulfilling sigh puffed out of her.

They had to feel the feathery tendrils she had imparted, she hoped. That they too rode on the silky wave to the core of their beings. And when she pulled back it was confirmed with Bucky’s lips touching hers. Soothing, and hard with purpose he took her mouth reminding her that he was still hers.

He closed his eyes on contact, moaned into her mouth savoring the fading sensation.

“I feel everything,” Bucky groaned deep and pushed his lips against her harder.

Silver flashed over his features with his metal hand reaching for the nape of her neck and tangling in her curls. He peeled her lips away peering into the depths of her dark eyes. Delicately she swept a finger over the prickly stubble under his bottom lip. He could see it in there looking back at him. The want was pooling all around the edges of her need and influencing his brittle refrain.

Bucky flicked his eyes over her shoulder to Steve. He had come closer watching pensively with his own need growing as fast as it was in Bucky by the looks of it. The shift of her head to his metal arm drew his attention back. With a sigh he watched as she kissed the dark metal leaving a little coaxing moist trail. Her eyes, now smoldering and burning away his resolve and he thought he could almost taste the ash of it in his mouth. Bucky locked onto her mouth one more time searing in the moment she became his whole world.

And as their lips slid together, her fingers skimmed along the fabric of his shirt, drawing tiny circles near his nipples, over the lean muscle of his abs and slipped a few fingers into the band of his pants.

“Please.” she begged on a breath.

_ Don’t hold back, please have me, please accept me _ , she pleaded wordlessly. Bucky’s moan ground in his throat as he reasserted the hold on the back of her head with a gentle yank. He stared at the smoothness of her neck and how much better it would look with his little reminders dotting it. And her voice, that begging tone to take her triggered that part of him, the part that would have him used that against her. But he went back to the well fort of feeling he cultivated in the dream-world. He didn’t have to use her, he could join her and lowered his head to her neck. His teeth scraped along her skin. Her shuddering moan met his deep growl sending her further into the abyss. She grabbed his shoulders held onto him tight and pushed her chest upon him.

A pleading whimper mixed with his sigh as he held her back with tug of his metal hand keeping her in place. Clicking and clacking of his belt unhooking, the wisp of a zipper becoming undone she opened her eyes to the ceiling. A rush of wetness, soft against the skin of her lips, rubbed achingly against her underwear. When he receded from blistering her skin with the heat of his mouth, leaving indentations in her supple skin, Awenha slightly nodded. Silently asking for him to give her more. His eyes moved back to Steve, he watched him watching them, and with his flesh hand Bucky motioned for Steve.

Heat on her back and even a more molten core in her front the two men sandwiched her between them. His presence there sends chills up her spine awashed her mind with visions of bodies entwined. She arched her back hard grazing her ass into Steve’s groin making softly grunt.

Steve’s whimper sends her further into darker thoughts. Held down, restrained liked he was always primed to do. Control was his vice. Complete sensory devastation was his aim. And she was his target, and she flooded more just imagining him doing just that again.

With the grip at the back of her head, Bucky moved her to face Steve. Steve swallowed hard and sighed deep, heavy lidded blues once impenetrable became exposed. They move over her face like it was the first time he had truly seen her until they rested at her wanton mouth. He could see the pink inside, wet, like the velvet hot skin of her core. He didn’t plan, he acted first, so unlike the other times but Steve crashed upon her mouth unable to hold back.

But this time it wasn’t to stop her from escaping, no, it was to show her how much she means. With a kiss and a heavy tongue licking around underneath her lips, consuming her and releasing him to give freely. He needed her to know that. She freed him from his dark. With his kiss frenzied, a tad aggressive, hands automatically scaled her curves sending her tumbling her toward his passionate embrace. She gulped down his whimpers, threw her arms over his shoulders and leaned into their frantic desire.

She remembered him, how he fit perfectly against her, hard muscles on soft breasts and how their warmth mingled with one another naturally. Bast, it felt good,  _ he _ felt good. Her, Steve, flicking his tongue over the rim of her lips, sucking in her heat and devouring her want. She missed him, she missed belonging.

Heat gathered behind Awenha, her breath hitched and fanned out into a whimper when hands glide underneath her shirt and squeezing along her ribcage.

“Do you want us both?” Bucky whispered into her ear.

The question plowed through her hitting sensitive nerves and better intentions along the way. She ignored the indecency, the shell of modesty she had left was cast aside and all she wanted was to be touched.

“Yes,” she muttered, shook her head frantically into Steve’s lips. “Please,” she moaned into his mouth.

And they don’t disappoint, how could they? Big hands, long fingers leave her breathless. Bucky with his rough hands dug around to the front of her pants, jerked them down to her ankles and plunged his fingers inside her. The stroke took her breath, the curl of his digits had her mumbling. She clung to Steve, barely, the cotton slipped between her fingers but he palmed her cheeks directing her to him. He dropped his lips onto hers and savored her moans. Bucky snaked his metal arm underneath Steve’s wrists and wrapped around her neck and shoulder holding her there. She could feel Bucky’s thickness hanging out his pants, rubbing her raw with the fabric and urging her to realize just how much he needed her. It was the same with Steve, the thin slacks couldn’t hide the length of him now brushing against her thigh.

His voice rolled out deep, thick. “Are you wet?” asked Steve. One of his hands dipped below, his thick fingers pressed against her hard clit and began to rub. Slick, dripping down his fingers Steve stepped closer his eyes fixed on the soft tug of her teeth biting her bottom lip. She nodded against his palm, strained against Bucky’s hold and his crooked fingers.

Knowing that he had her, it didn’t stop him from asking again. “You want us honey?” Steve asked huskily.

She nodded. “I-do, I want you both.” she stuttered.

Their movements dissolved into a series of tugging at clothes, pinching at her hips and directing her lips to theirs. Slowly they shuffled to the couch snatched kisses along the way in their haze. Their bodies collided with a sharp moan, for at last, their skin touched her bareness. Heat, unimaginable, sweltering energy moved with the three of them as they collapsed to the couch cushions.

Gently, Bucky caught her by the waist while her legs fell to his sides. Steve was not far behind, his weight pushed upon her back and ass pressing her wetness on to Bucky’s cock. Bucky grunted heavy, rocked back and forth along her slick entrance waiting for the moment he could have her again. Steve’s breath was deep in her ear as he gripped the back of the couch and straddled Bucky’s thighs with one foot on the floor. Closer, Steve needed to be melted into her. He wrapped his arm around her neck, tilted her chin up. He lowered his lips to her ear, licking the skin leading up to her lobe he whispered softly.

“Honey, put him inside you,”

Her skin blazed under his breath. The intimacy of it, the pivotal moment between yesterday and today left her overwhelmed, left her wetter. “I want to see you cum, baby.” Steve muttered against her ear.

With the promise to fulfill his command she nodded lazily, pushed her hand between the hot skin of Bucky’s body and her moist valley. At the same time Steve’s hand slid down to her waist and held her with his arm and he pushed her down upon Bucky’s cock.

Awenha whined with the spreading of her folds. Eyes big, cavernous with the amount love she had for him, she stared at Bucky. He stretched her within, it always surprised, he always felt so heavy inside her. And now, with Steve so near her mind swam with sensations never dreamed of.

Steve began to urge her to move, his arm held her tight until eventually she followed his lead. Slowly, bumping thick hips against Bucky’s lean pelvis she cried out with every bounce. Every so often he would thrust up, meet her mid way sending her further into bliss. His heat, their heat mixed with hers.

Steve never stopped touching her, never stopped the worshipful way he caressed her breasts until he wrapped both arms around her tight. He pressed the side of his face into her mass of black hair, he shut his eyes while he held her there bouncing up and down, pleasing her. With every shake of her ass, his cock wedged further in between, slick with precum he rubbed his cock along her split. She can only think of the need he has for her, what she has to offer and it pushed her further toward the edge.

Sweat and moist air around them swirled to crackling intensity the moment Steve’s hand drifted down, passed her belly button, to her clit. Awenha rocked forward, bounced faster when Steve began to rub, he pressed in harder and she threw her head back against his shoulder with a whimper. She has never looked more beautiful, more alive than at this moment and Bucky refused to keep his hands off her. Cool metal fingertips squeezed her breast, kneaded the softness until they warmed to her skin.

She clenched around him, the more she moved the harder it became for him to hold on. She was fluttering around him, gripping him tight to the point he curled his toes. Somewhere in the mix of her pants and Bucky’s groans, Steve slowed her down, he placed his hands on her hips pacing her back. Tenderly, he urged her to rock at an agonizing motion while his hand swept over her hip to her round ass and dipped his fingers around her lips. Swollen, and stretched with Bucky, Steve gathered her wetness up the fleshy bridge and gently began to rub her tighter entrance.

Awenha’s eyes shot open when his finger, one knuckle deep, entered her. She shuddered forward and fell on top of Bucky in a heap of moans. The unexplored pleasure, panged the further he went and it knocked the breath out her crumbling what little resolve she had. She desperately murmured,  _ yes _ on the cusp of coming apart. But Bucky was right there to put her back together by cupping her face within his palms. He continued to build her up with little kisses around her mouth, he focused her attention on the sensations and not the pain. He stroked her walls in languid long thrusts, and pulled her puffy lips to kiss him. Steve joined a second finger, deeper and faster until she clung to Bucky’s naked chest.

“You’ve worked so hard doll.” Bucky said softly into her mouth.

Steve’s fingers slipped from her, one hand grasped her hip the other held the hilt of his cock.

“Honey, you’re the heart of this family.” said Steve with a groan, and pushed his purple head into her tight ass.

Her eyes swirled everywhere but at Bucky as Steve’s hands locked onto her hips and pushed himself deeper into her with Bucky’s continued pump. Full, the feeling of being taken completely—ravished, inundated her with sensations beyond the pale of what she was used to. Her fingers scraped Bucky’s skin slick with sweat until she made fists. She looked to Bucky’s beautiful face, his shimmering blue eyes now dark as fathomless depths swallowed her. The submersion was complete the moment both Bucky and Steve buried themselves to the hilt inside her.

“You don’t have to worry anymore, okay? I have you.” said Bucky, determined to ease her mind he kissed the words into her mouth plying her desperate whimpers into a moan.

Steve’s thrust offset Bucky’s. One in and one out, pistoning repeatedly, each devotedly reducing the woman they loved to a quivery mass of hysterical moans. Awenha, dizzy with ecstasy leaned back against Steve’s chest, he wrapped his arms around her while Bucky gripped the fat of her hips.

“And we’ll always be here.” moaned Steve.


	16. Sunny Side Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Their little family is coming together.  
> Chapter Warnings: Reminder that this story is 18+!! :: language, angst

Steve woke up first, early in the morning before the heat of the sun had a chance to knock off the dew from the grass he stepped on. Bare footed, hot mug of blended coffee in one hand he stared at the opaque sky.

Layered rings of cornflower blue faded to a honey center the longer he gazed at the sun crawling into the sky. He had been all over the world, seen as many sun rises as he had witnessed sun sets, but this. Golden rays sprung out in shooting bronze bands into the lilac sky. Cream gave way to amber, as the sun peeked over the horizon fire cast over the landscape radiating the moist air into a royal yellow.

He thought of how eternal it all felt, as if the sun always was and he was just a speck in its existence. But he felt haunted too. Steve peeled his eyes from the sunrise to the black and white foam swirling in his cup.

Awenha had seen the highlights, as did Bucky. But it didn’t seem one-sided, the experience wasn’t divisive as it could have been for the three of them. He had seen them as well. Steve breathed in deep taking in the smell of green and earth, inside him there was a pervasive knowing. That he could feel them too.

Even as he stood freely with his toes nudging the wet strands he felt trapped in his shame. He still felt the jealousy, the possessive thoughts when it came to her. He was adamantly captivated and wholly charmed by a force within her that couldn’t curb this darkness. In his mind, the experience simply leveled the playing field. Now she knew what he was capable of, they both had insight.

No lying in wait or observing her movements throughout the day was necessary anymore. He wouldn’t have to worry that she wanted to leave, that held back most of the itch to keep her. And her love for Bucky, it didn’t curl the edges of his spirit anymore. It became an afterthought, an of course she does, to Steve. That seemed strong enough too and it helped control the spite he felt when he thought of them together.

The door behind him opened and shut.

Steve didn’t bother to turn around to see who it was, he simply blinked a couple of times to clear the thoughts away.

“Hey,” said Bucky.

He walked to Steve’s side with his own cup in hand. The yellow sun washed out some of his features but his eyes now gray were as sharp as ever.

“’You thinking about yesterday?” he asked and took a few steps further into the grass.

He turned back around, face to face with Steve and waited for him to answer.

“What if I was?” said Steve quietly staring into Bucky’s eyes.

“I would say that’s normal. It was a lot.” He said and took a sip of his coffee. “Especially after what we all saw.”

Bucky looked toward the sunrise, now far above the horizon, he studied it for a moment. The silence between them lingered until he looked back at Steve.

“I’m not proud of any of it.”

“But you still want to do it.” said Bucky.

At first Steve felt shocked that Bucky knew deep down he was still the same man. The same depravity never left, it only shifted around after becoming exposed to the light.

“So do you.” Steve retorted. “It’s not gone. I just feel it less.”

Bucky nodded slowly, he acknowledged his sentiments with heaviness in his eyes.

“I saw what you did to Awenha.” said Bucky. “I felt her fear.”

“So did I.” added Steve quickly. “I know what I did.”

“And now I know.” said Bucky, taking a few steps nearer. “I had a feeling it was something like with the nurses. But I never let myself consider you would go that far…with her.”

“I thought it was necessary-”

“For what?” Bucky interrupted bitterly.

“I wanted to take care of her. She just wouldn’t let me. I’m a good man, Buck. I wouldn’t have hurt her-“

“You sound like it’s her fault.”

“What about you?” said Steve defensively. “You fucked Ruby. Why? You could have had any woman in the city. Why her? So you tell me. Why did you do it?”

Bucky got quiet. All the loneliness, resentment swelled inside of him along with the guilt.

“You looked happy.” said Bucky.

Steve appeared confused and started to speak but Bucky piped up.

“I wanted that too. You saw something in her I didn’t. ‘Got me to thinking that maybe I’ve missed so much more in life. She was sweet,” he said quietly, still thinking. “She was so soft in my hands, until I had her. Then I felt left out, she was for you, not me.”

“She was innocent.” added Steve turning his eyes to the ground. “I think I took more from her than I gave. I hurt her because of you.”

“Because of you. Don’t blame me because of your hang-ups.” said Bucky quickly. “You could have just walked away, got angry with me and ignored her. But you took it further and punished her. That’s all on you. Steve, you did the same with Awenha.”

“Punished her?” Steve spat out. “What were you doing then? I saw you too.”

“Ya,” Bucky paused, thinking about Steve’s words. “I did.” He admitted but continued to stare at Steve. “But I wouldn’t have done what you did. I didn’t trap her, drug her-”

“She’s afraid of me,” butted in Steve, pondering the latent memories of the day before. “But she’s afraid of you too.”

Bucky distinctly recalled her fear, it sat in his gut and crawled up his back.

He nodded slightly. “I think it’s our responsibility,” Bucky began in a thick voice. “We need to make her feel safe from this day forward.”

Bucky stepped back with his eyes wandering the yard and sky. “We have to try, Steve. It won’t be easy, but we should be open with her.”

Bucky looked back at Steve. He ran a steady hand through his rumbled blonde strands.

“This won’t work any other way. We’ve seen what happens with secrets. Do you want to lose your family?” asked Bucky.

Steve brushed at his face and shook his head. The two men stood quiet until Bucky could no longer take in the sullen expression on Steve’s face. He took a sip of his coffee, swirled the bottom of it and stared at it.

“Do you think she will love me?” asked Steve quietly and Bucky’s eyes moved toward him. Steve gestured with his pointer finger and the mug. “How she loves you?”

“She already does, Steve.”

* * *

Bucky paced the length of the living room. The sleek phone was pressed to his ear; hand stuffed and fisted into a ball in his pocket, he listened to the voice on the other end.

“I understand.” replied Bucky just as Awenha walked in headed toward the kitchen.

She paused half way there and turned to look at him curiously. Bucky made a motion with his head that said he was almost done.

“As long as I’m not arrested when I get there,” he laughed lightly and gazed at Awenha.

“Okay. I’ll let him know.” He retorted and hung up the phone.

Awenha turned back toward the kitchen space, to the small refrigerator as Bucky came up behind her.

“Well I’m not a war criminal anymore.” He said placing the phone on the island counter.

She spun away from the door with the rounded basket of eggs in hand and stared shocked at Bucky. She crossed the space as he walked near the counter. 

Awenha wrapped her arms around Bucky’s neck pulling him down into her curls. “I’m glad the government understands-“ she began, her voice thick with concern.

His hands rubbed up her back holding her tighter. “It doesn’t.” he interrupted and raised his head. “It’s conditional for now.”

Before Awenha could form a sentence to ask what, Azie’s annoyed, sleepy voice echoed from the hallway.

Bushy hair tumbled around a heart shaped face. Down turned eyes squinted in the light pouring in from the windows as she padded into the kitchen.

“I want cereal.” She gazed at her mother. “Do we have that?” she asked again.

Awenha pecked Bucky’s cheek, she smiled at Azie. “We have eggs, toast and fruit.”

Azie grumbled and hugged around her father’s waist.

The family sat down at the table Awenha held three month old Stevie as he fed from her breast. She took a large bite of the buttery toast and listened amused as Azie lamented about her project at school.

Bucky and Steve chimed in occasionally offering their perspectives Awenha’s lip twitched into a satisfied grin.

“Time for eggs.” She whispered down to Stevie.

Awenha placed dark haired Stevie into his wooden high chair. Immediately he began to smile and look around at the faces at the table.

“So, dinner will be at 7 tomorrow.” announced Awenha taking a bite of egg.

Steve stopped chewing his fruit and gazed at her from across the table. He shifted uncomfortably.

“Everybody is invited.” She added with a smile.

“Shuri said she had a laser she wanted to show me!” perked up Azie as she finished the last of her strawberries.

“I need to find that handle! She said it could be mounted.” Azie hopped out of the chair with a piece of toast in her hand. She walked through the living room and headed for her room.

“Are you sure about that?” asked Steve as soon as Azie was out of ear shot.

Bucky rolled a mouthful of hot eggs in his mouth as he spoke. “You wouldn’t have been invited otherwise,” he muttered.

Steve started chewing again, his eyes lowered to his plate and thought about the last words between himself and T’Challa.

“It’s been a month, I’m not sure I can hold them off any longer,” said Awenha with a chuckle.

“But I already left an impression,” he said, avoiding Awenha’s gaze and picking at his eggs.

Awenha sat up higher. “Yes. But you’re Steve Rogers, aren’t you used to proving people wrong?” she asked.

Begrudgingly, he agreed with a curt nod. He acknowledged the underlying meaning behind her words with little resentment. That was new. If he was going to see this through, at all levels, he needed to deal with his actions and the repercussions.

“It’ll be okay,” he said and continued to eat.

“T’Challa may have words to say,” said Bucky.

But at that moment the three of them heard the front door open and close. At the head of the table, Bucky leaned back in the chair and stared toward the living room waiting.

Sam stepped in with a stride in his step.

“Morning,” he chipped brightly. “What’s for breakfast?”

Bucky smiled and motioned for him to join them at the table. Sam reached in front of Steve for the fruit and put a pile on a fresh plate. He scooped up some scrambled eggs, and grabbed a slice of toast.

“I heard the news,” said Sam looking toward Bucky at his right.

“What news?” asked Steve and put his fork down.

Sam turned to Steve, “He’s a free man.” said Sam hooking his fork toward Bucky.

“Of sorts,” added Bucky, swallowing the rest of his bite.

His blue eyes moved to Awenha and then back to Steve.

“What?” asked Steve, eager to hear the reason.

“This other guy they have,” said Bucky and leaned forward. “He needs help.”

“He’s not cutting it,” mumbled Sam and stabbed at his eggs.

“He’s not you Sam.” said Bucky.

“You are Captain America,” Steve interjected. “Do you believe it?” he asked Sam.

Sam shot him a unnerving look, he put down the fork and leaned back in the chair. “I do. But the catch is getting other people to.”

“I was a two-bit side show,” said Steve. “Part of me knew I could be really helping and I couldn’t.”

Steve turned in his chair toward Sam catching him in the eyes.

“The time will come when people know they need you,” he continued. “And you will embrace it, _Cap_.”

* * *

Steve sat on a thick blanket in the backyard, between his legs Stevie struggled to sit up on his own. Careful hands held chubby legs as fits of garbles, and coos erupted out of a frustrated Stevie.

“I think you’re a natural,” laughed Sam.

Bucky stood within the house and stared out at the scene. Steve appeared stable enough, his smile easily stretched across his face as he gazed at his son.

The ball of anxiety in his gut had long subsided when he thought of Steve now. Blonde hair, a sharp smile, he looked like the boy he grew up with.

He had to believe Steve was well passed the hell he brought down on Awenha. But as Bucky continued to study his friend his girl stepped to his side.

And when she placed a soft hand on his metal shoulder he finally broke from staring.

“When do you leave?” she asked, her voice soft, perhaps it was sadness he heard.

“What?”

Bucky turned and swept his knuckles down her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

Awenha scoffed lightly, rolled her eyes out toward Sam and Steve beyond the glass.

“He needs your help,” she said. “We’ll be fine here if that’s what was keeping you back.” She reassured as her eyes fell back to his.

Bucky was silent, his eyes dropped to her mouth and then to the floor in thought.

“Are _you_ ready to get back into the fight?” she asked, nudging his chin up with the back of her hand.

She caressed the few days’ worth of stubble under soft fingertips.

“’You sure about Steve?” he asked, bringing his eyes up to meet her tender expression.

She nodded, smiled a bit too before placing a light peck on his bottom lip. “You?” she asked.

Bucky turned his head back to the window. “Yes.”

“And I am ready,” he said and looked back at her. “For anything they throw at us.”


	17. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the family.  
> Chapter Warnings: angst, smut

Awenha held Stevie within her arms as she stood in front of the entrance to the royal family’s home. Azie managed to squeeze in far closer to the large wooden door, staring at the intricate carving upon it. Bucky lightly brushed Awenha’s lower back as he came up beside her, giving her a reassuring expression. And Steve, though ready to confront any underlying hostilities, lingered behind them with his hands stuffed inside his pockets.

Azie’s small hand brushed against a particular engraved scene above her head.

“I like this bit.” She said. “He has this long sword,” and she made a motion with her fisted hand as though she were slashing through the air.

“Calm down, Errol Flynn,” said Steve nervously.

Azie looked back at him still swishing through the air, this time with sound effects.

“Who?” she said with a giggle.

“Remind me to show you the movie after this is over.” He said softly.

“Captain Blood?” asked Bucky looking over his shoulder.

“Blood!!” cackled Azie.

“Okay. That’s enough,” said Awenha, staring down at her daughter.

“Is it like Ghost Ship?” asked Azie staring back at Steve.

Awenha whipped around toward him. Her dark eyes focused upon him with unbridled annoyance. 

“Why would you let her-“ she started to hiss heatedly, and moved toward Steve with the promise of a longer conversation later in her eyes.

“There was so much blood in that one!” interrupted Azie.

“Steve.” said Bucky low, rolling his eyes.

The door opened just as Awenha stepped next to Steve for a stern talking to.

“Why are all of you standing out here?” called Ramonda.

Awenha’s eyes widened, the hint of a frown curled into a light smile as Azie rushed forward to hug the Queen.

“So tall!” said Ramonda cheerfully. “It’s been long since I have seen you.” 

Awenha caught her bright smile as it turned into pursed lips.

“She was here two weeks ago.” said Awenha. “With H’Hrome, remember?”

Ramonda shrugged haughtily. “It was so quick I can hardly recall.” She said and began to pull away from the entrance.

Azie finally let go, she headed the procession with her head tilted high up at the walls. Round eyes stared at the figurines and the tapestries as she walked. Awenha followed behind her with Stevie in tow, Bucky gave Ramonda a small nod when he passed her.

“Are you coming in?” asked Ramonda in a raised voice.

Azie kept going but Awenha stopped, she turned to see Steve had not entered.

“Yes ma’am.” said Steve and finally stepped in the entry.

“Ramonda will suffice.” she said shortly.

Once he was through, Ramonda began to walk toward them and then passed them. She strode beside Azie, who stole glances up at her. The little girl imitated the queenly strides, with her hands clasped in front of her, eyes focused on the path before her.

“We will be having dinner in the hall tonight. There is quite a large crowd.” She said, looking back at Awenha with a glance.

The group rounded a tall ornate corner of the family home, led by Ramonda, she ushered them down another short hall. To their left beyond an open door way a rather large rectangular table sat covered with trays and dishes of food.

“Where is everyone?” asked Awenha.

Ramonda stopped, spoke lightly to an attendant and then turned back to Awenha.

“They are on the way.” She said and pointed to the right side of the table. “There is a chair for the little one, your arms must be tired,” she added and approached Awenha with her arms held open.

“But first he needs some Ramonda love,” she cooed at him and lifted him out of Awenha’s arms.

She jerked her head toward the door at the end of the hall. The familiar doors at the end led out to the family patio.

“Everyone is out there,” she said, Ramonda leaned her head down to Stevie and placed a kiss on his chubby round cheek.

Azie buzzed, her braids bouncing as she took off from the group towards the patio.

Awenha glanced at the doors, watching Azie throw one open as Ramonda spoke. “Why are you still standing here? Go, he is perfectly fine with his Aunt,” she smiled down at him and nuzzled him cheek to cheek.

When the three of them entered the terrace Shuri called to them from the group near the balcony. The cut out section of the royal palace swooped down, lined and dotted with small trees, bushes and wild flowers. Azie stood near a blossoming tree, on her tip-toes while she struggled to look down at the city. T’Challa stood near with a wrinkle in his nose as Sam spoke lively toward him.

“Sam!” said Steve, his mood brightening.

The trio approached, Bucky stood to Awenha’s left, Steve to the right as he shook Sam’s hand.

“We were just discussing the mechanics of the wings,” started Sam. “Apparently I’ve been doing-“

“You are falling, though slowly, but it is still falling,” chimed Shuri.

She snuck over to Azie and started to tickle her.

“We can improve that!” she laughed as Azie ran away shrieking and giggling.

“Old fashioned?” chuckled Steve, grinning at Sam.

“Perhaps, but even old ways can be improved.” said T’Challa.

Steve fell silent; he leaned inward as he spoke. “Never hurts to learn,” he said.

T’Challa said nothing in return, he simply eyed the tall man unperturbed and moved off back toward the home.

The group sat around the table. T’Challa was at one end and his mother sat on the opposite end. Awenha sat flanked by Bucky and Steve, the small carrier was wedged between with Stevie fast asleep.

Steve wasn’t even sure how long it took the tension in his shoulders to finally relax, but he was certain that the last twenty minutes was the first time he felt near peaceful. He was thankful that Awenha sat to his left with his son and Sam on his right.

But as soon as General Okoye walked in, Steve noted she definitely appeared different. Gone was the crimson armor and weapons, in their place she wore a light blue top, and tight pants as she strode behind the opposite side of the table. She respectfully nodded at each of the members of the family until lastly her dark eyes fell upon Sam and smiled big.

After losing his chat partner to a swift kiss from her Steve peered across the table and over the dishes of food.

“Sam, when will you be leaving us?” asked T’Challa in a resonant voice.

The entire table stared at him, including Steve.

Sam cleared his throat before he spoke. “Depends on my back up.” He said, leaning back and stared down the line of chairs toward Bucky.

He was on the spot. Suddenly under the gaze of most at the table Bucky took a quick drink to wash down the bread. One giant wave of repressed capriciousness had him leering back at Sam brashly.It passed as his eyes wandered the table, seeing their faces but also not registering them as he thought. So he sat his fork down and looked at T’Challa.

“In the morning.” he announced and with it a tiny gasp from across from him. Bucky’s eyes moved to Azie, her black brows crinkled together as she stared at her father.

“Three weeks tops,” he said toward her. “I promise,” he added watching the sadness welling up in her eyes.

“Azie, your father is a great warrior.” said T’Challa softly toward her.

“I know,” she said in a small voice. “It’s just-“ said Azie as she suddenly glanced at Awenha and then to T’Challa.

“I’ll miss him.”

Bucky couldn’t shake the guilt or the look in his daughter’s eyes when they met him. He didn’t want to blindside her, but that was what happened and now he had to deal with it.

“Come here,” he called gently.

Azie immediately left her chair and walked around the table toward her father. Shuri mentioned an extended stay in the lab and the discussion automatically raised Ramonda’s voice at her. The table once again began to chatter as Azie approached. Bucky scooted out a bit and she stood between his knees.

“It’s okay,” he whispered and tugged on a braid.

She didn’t speak. Azie leaned in and wrapped her arms around her father’s neck.

* * *

The evening with the family grew to an end without the bang Steve expected, or the overly intrusive questions Awenha knew Ramonda was capable of. Bucky appeared to perk up toward the end too, though Awenha suspected it was for Azie mostly.

When their family arrived back at their home Azie lazily hung around Bucky. She shadowed him until Awenha finally told her to go to sleep for the night.

After feeding Stevie she placed him in his standing crib within the room he shared with Azie.

The wind down to the night came slow between the three. Awenha clicked off the lamp and flopped into the bed sleepily. Mind racing with what would come after Bucky left didn’t escape the adulterated comfort of her bed. She slid her legs back and forth between sheets. Restless and impossibly uneasy in her thoughts. And within seconds the old panic spiked, the dread of being in close quarters with Steve again pulled at the fear in her heart. He wouldn’t do it again, she reminded. Not with everything she had seen, had shared.

Steve was entirely open to a new way. He no longer sulked, or plotted. 

She could see it in his actions and more importantly she could _feel_ it too.

Shuffling from the open bedroom door pulled her attention. It was a bit too early for them to sleep. Curiously, her head picked up from the pillow as Bucky walked in followed by Steve.

“Coming to bed already?” she muttered under her breath as Bucky slipped into bed, his warm body cuddled in close to her left.

Bucky wrapped his metal arm around her waist, he leaned in and pressed his lips upon her neck.

She hummed under the sensation, his breath sent shivers down her chest tightening her nipples. Steve slowly walked around to the other side of the bed, in the dark, shadows crossed over his features as he stared down at the bed.

Awenha’s head rolled, she locked her eyes on his tall figure; he raised his hands to his hips, though paused and after a few seconds removed his sweats.

He watched Bucky’s hand glide up and down over her body under the covers. Part of him resented it, the other half, the piece of him that begged for peace knew this is what love looked like. This is what the three of them decided their love would look like. The intense, out-of-your-mind, need to ferociously and lovingly tear her apart from the inside out. While she, enveloping them within her, they built her back up.

Steve peeled back the covers, slid in next to her, his hand reached for her face pulling her near his.

He kissed her, not softly but eagerly he swiped his tongue over her bottom lip. He hoped she could taste his want, he prayed she could feel how desperate he needed to love her. And when she parted her lips to receive him, mouth open tongue slick against his, Steve’s self imposed composure broke.

Steve’s hand pushed under Bucky’s, he grabbed her hips turning her on her side. He pressed his bare chest to her back.

“Kiss him,” he breathed, “Kiss him hard honey.” said Steve as he tugged down her panties.

Awenha reached for Bucky at the same time he dove into her. Steve pushed in, groped her hips as he stared at the shadows of Awenha’s and Bucky’s heads.

“She tastes so good,” mumbled Bucky.

Steve began to pump at the same time their lips returned to each other. Overcome by the heat of her center, the wetness he buried his face into her hair. “She feels—“ he moaned, and began to thrust harder. “She feels so warm inside.”

“Do you want to taste me baby?” whispered Bucky continuing to devour her tiny greedy whimpers.

Bucky jerked the pillow away from under her head and replaced it with his thigh. He scooted in as she began to stroke his cock. He tilted his head back, rolled his eyes behind fluttering eyelids when her mouth connected.

Awenha’s tongue swirled along the shaft of his cock. “I’m going to miss you,” he hissed while trying to steady himself. Awenha’s mouth nudged further down while Steve began to pump into her harder.

Her lips swept down his shaft as his hips jerked up. “I love you,” she moaned, worshipfully she angled her tongue to a point and slicked it around his skin before taking him back into her mouth.

His hips rocked up as her body bumped in rhythmic motion to Steve’s pointed hits. Sloppily she sucked and licked Bucky’s cock as the ache between her thighs grew.

She clenched, squeezed her thighs and popped her ass out more willing Steve to go deeper. But he grabbed at the back of her knee, kicked the covers off and spread her open. Her bent leg up in the air, toes pointed and Steve leaned in, pushed his hand down to the front of her mound. A heated sigh dribbled from around Bucky’s cock, the only indication Steve had hit the spot. Slowly he stroked her clit in short languid circles. 

“Honey,” Steve groaned. “Don’t stop—sucking him. Fuck, it makes you squeeze me so tight.” He licked his dry lips, pressed them against the cotton of her shirt and hoped he could hold on.

“Fuck,” he groaned into her skin.

Awenha’s hips twitched; the leg in the air began to shake and her toes curled.

“Come on honey,” he encouraged, “Cum all over me, love.” He rumbled.

Bucky’s brine seeped from the corners of her mouth. She pushed him into her throat, like he loved, and rode the feeling. The tiny cluster of lust grew, his voice soft and shuttered drove her to please him more. But it was the touch of him with his metal hand holding the crown of her head, his flesh hand kneading her breasts that pushed her over the edge.

Her orgasm rolled through her cunt and into her belly as she pulled Bucky’s cock from her mouth with a blissful shout.

Awenha’s head fell back between Bucky’s hip and the mattress as her body shook. Steve held on to her hips, he couldn’t last any longer, he thumped into her spilling himself into her completely.

Steve didn’t have much time to come down when he felt Bucky jerk her hips away from him. He slid Awenha’s body on to her back, gripped her legs apart and pushed into her.

Steve stared at the sight of them. If it wasn’t for the starlight he might not have fully appreciated the scene. Awenha’s moans poured from her like the remains of Steve’s seed. The sound of slapping skin filled the air, her soaked cunt splashed with every deep plunge.

“Need me in you?” Bucky’s voice shook. “Do you?” he asked again when she said nothing.

“Yes!” she mewled and drew him in closer. She moaned deep at the feeling of his warm skin wrapping around her.

His face fell into her shoulder, he buried his lips in the crook of her neck and shoulder. Bucky’s teeth skidded along her skin, he opened his mouth and bit down hard. Awenha jerked, her body spasmed underneath his as the sensation of his teeth nearly breaking skin took over. Another orgasm bubbled through her core as Bucky grinded his hips against hers.

Their girl, so soft in his arms, so beautiful.

His pent up energy surged through him guiding him toward the release he craved. Bucky raised his head up to her and brought up his hands to Awenha’s face, he cupped her cheeks. In the dark, white light from stars cast a glow upon her smooth skin. Compelled to connect, to be in her as much as possible, Bucky pushed his tongue into her mouth. Upon tongues touching and licking his body went rigid, he spurted hard within her core.

He laid inside her. Peppered her neck and face with kisses as his heart rate returned to a restful pace. He could hear the smile in her little moans, the small giggles as she too relaxed under him.

Bucky rose up by the palms of his hands and turned to look at Steve’s gray silhouette sitting up on his side of the bed.

“Take care of our girl while I’m gone.” He said quietly.

Steve leaned down, he dipped his head under Buck’s and kissed Awenha from the side.

“You know I will.” whispered Steve and kissed her again.

* * *

Awenha awoke to the sound of movement in the dark bedroom. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes as a shadow shifted in the corner. The shape was familiar as it turned toward her. Awenha clicked her beads to check the time; 2 a.m. A few whimpers floated into the room from down the hall signaling that Stevie was awake.

Pulling back the blanket from her body Awenha, careful not to wake Steve, she got to her feet.

“Good luck, Buck,” said Steve quietly.

Awenha turned back to the bed to see Steve’s darkened figure propped up on his arm. She turned on the small sconce near the end table as Bucky stuffed a pair of socks into his bag.

“You should still be sleeping.” Bucky’s voice was deep but alert.

“I’m not sure I could if I wanted to.” she whispered back.

Awenha slipped on a pair of blue shorts.

“I’ll get him,” said Steve as he shuffled out of the bed and pulled on his sweats. He clapped Bucky on the shoulder when he passed by and walked out of the room.

Bucky’s heavy booted foot falls paced through the room as he gathered items. She watched him move about the room then walk out the door with a large duffle. Awenha followed Bucky down the darkened hall. At the end a small light from the living room illuminated a stack of bags by the front door.

She heard a stir from Azie’s room and returned back down the hall to their daughter’s door. A child’s silhouette moved from the bed. Awenha stepped quietly and with a hushed voice addressed her.

“Come to say goodbye?” She asked tenderly.

Azie gave a soft ‘uh-huh’ as she walked passed Awenha and into the hall in the direction of the sounds coming from the kitchen.

When Awenha caught up to them in the living room. Bucky was sitting in the chair near one of the large windows with Azie in his lap, her arms were draped over his chest and head buried in his neck. There were no tears as she spoke to him in whispers. Bucky murmured a reply to her as he rubbed her back. 

“I just need to warm this?” asked Steve from the kitchen.

Awenha broke from watching them, slowly she pulled her eyes across the room to Steve. He was shirtless and holding Stevie in one arm and a bottle in the other. Stevie started to fuss, chubby cheeks scrunched as his lips parted into a snoring wail.

“Put it on the range. Hold for two seconds Steve. It will heat it perfectly.” she said quietly. “But remember to test it.” she added.

By the time she returned to her silent observing lights from a distant vehicle flashed across their figures. Bucky’s eyes were glassy as he looked in their direction.

Azie whipped her head up from Bucky’s shoulder to look out the window.

She squeezed his neck and pressed the side of her face to his. “Goodbye Dad.” she said regretfully. 

“Everything will be okay Winnie.” said Bucky. “You’ll see.”

Azie got off his lap in one motion and stood near Awenha by the front door.

There was a quick knock and Sam appeared. He peeked his head in and jerked his chin up at Bucky. Azie’s eyes darted away to the floor as Bucky stood up from the chair. He walked toward them with a sag in his shoulders.

“Time to roll old man.” said Sam.

Bucky bent down and hitched a bag on his shoulder. Sam walked in and grabbed the last bag. But when moved to walk out Awenha touched his right arm.

“Come back in one piece.” She insisted. Sam turned to her, his eyes full of pride and hope.

“I wouldn’t be out there without him.” said Sam and glanced behind him at Bucky. “We have each other’s back.”

Awenha gave him a strong grin and nodded. Her eyes moved to Bucky in time to catch his encouraging gaze. He leaned in and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Together they walked out the front door with Azie steadily following behind. With quick steps she caught up to his metal hand and grabbed it. They walked down the stone path with little more than lantern light from the porch to see their way. In the distance, early risers were up and moving about within Birnin Zana. 

To Awenha it felt as if he had a regular job. Or at least for a few seconds pretend that was the case. That Bucky was simply off to work in another section of the city. But that fantasy didn’t last long. At the edge of the yard Bucky squeezed her shoulder before letting go. 

He took Azie’s hand and put it within Awenha’s as he knelt down to her level.

“It will only be for a few weeks Winnie.” said Bucky with a small grin.

The little girl tried not to cry as she wiped her nose on the back of her hand. She nodded encouragingly and hugged his neck; a quick peck on his cheek Bucky pushed her mop of curls from her face.

Bucky stood and moved in front of Awenha. He took a moment to soak her in. It was a first for him. He hadn’t been separated from her for this long. Bucky considered how hard this was for her to once again have to say goodbye. But this wasn’t forever with no end insight. Awenha’s smooth skin glided in the palm of his metal hand as she smiled up at him. He took a deep breath as he burned her face at this moment into his memory.

“I’ll contact when I can. But always expect the best when I can’t okay?”

She gave a small nod as he cupped her face in his hands and he pulled her in. His lips now free of scruff but still scratchy, he moved his lips over her soft full mouth in a chaste kiss. Bucky savored the feeling, the sweet smell of her hair, and the warmth of her brown skin.

“Be careful.” She said, and moved her hands to his face.

Bucky mouthed I will as he stood back observing Awenha and Azie. From behind them, on the porch, Steve emerged with his son in his arm.

Bucky waved lightly and returned to Awenha’s hopeful but sad face.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said and turned to the vehicle.

Bucky tossed the bag into the vehicle. The moonlight glared off her white top in the dark becoming a beacon of sorts to Bucky. Even when they were nearly to the end of the road he could see her silhouette in the distance. A soft twinkle in the darkness, a graceful symbol of hope and loyalty that he was grateful would be waiting for him to return.


	18. Still Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Awenha and Steve are left alone in the absences of Bucky.  
> Chapter Warnings: angst, SMUT

Steve stared down at the bag of infant supplies. His eyes and mind moved through the motions of checking he had everything to leave. A couple bottles, a cooling bag with breast milk inside, a few toys, a canteen of water. He was forgetting something, a lifetime ago this would have been easier with combat gear than this. And Bucky would have told him he would forget his head if it wasn’t attached.

Stevie gurgled in his arms and his eyes glanced at his son.

Dark eyes stared up at Steve.

Diapers.

Steve tucked his son back in the makeshift bassinet on the floor of cushions and blankets. He rolls his eyes and walks away back down the hall to his now empty room. They share a bed now, her bed. He grabbed a few disposable gray diapers from the closet when his open satchel caught his eye.

He hadn’t remembered going through it lately so he bunched up the pile of diapers under his arm and squatted down to the worn leather bag.

Thick pieces of sketching paper were pulled up, drawings were out of order and Steve wondered if Azie had been in them.

He fingered the papers while pushing some back into place when he saw the corner of a stick figure on an almost blank sheet. Steve picked it out and looked at it. Upon it, crudely drawn, a man was squatting over a shield. While his body was nothing but lines the balls and dick were very prominent, and largely disproportionate to the rest of him. Out of his stick body a pile of crap poured like a river onto the disc. The figure had a bigger arm, Steve chuckled as his eyes moved to the other side of the drawing.

_Don’t mess this up, dum dum or that shield will be your face._

Steve hiccupped a laugh out at what passed as Bucky’s humor and put it back in the satchel. At least they were on better terms, he sighed as he walked out of the room. Bucky was probably thinking of her now, Steve considered and walked to his son. He was most likely itching to see her face, hear her voice but because of the particulars of the mission he couldn’t.

Steve couldn’t help but think, bitterly, that finally Bucky got a taste of what he experienced all those weeks on the border.

And he could see it with Awenha too, that she missed Bucky. This morning was a lack-luster attempt to get her to himself. He was gentle, attentive, he almost begged for it—if he was honest with himself to admit that out loud. Instead she shied away from him, told him it was just too soon and left for her lab.

It took every bit of restraint he had inside of him, what they went through, to back off. To let her words be enough to stay his hand.

Steve slung the long strap over his chest. He picked up the light sleek foldable bed for his son as he held Stevie close, on his shoulder.

He wasn’t going to let her keep that distance for long. But for now, Steve glanced down at his watch and the little shield in the corner glinted off the sunlight as regretfully acknowledged he was going to be late, again. He would let her come to him, he thought.

Steve’s lip curled into a grin at the thought of her finally accepting him. He walked out the door into the late morning sun. Stevie whimpered with the jostling as Steve began to walk down the road toward the city center. Maybe the instructor would be kinder this time. After a few sessions in the art studio with Stevie in tow the other students had become more welcoming. But what really threw him off was the instruction to draw what comes to mind. He hadn’t thought about anything else other than Awenha in so long. Even with still life, the paint and lines were influenced by the shade of her skin, the shape of her body. He wasn’t sure what else he had to offer.

But he wouldn’t let a little thing like single mindedness deter him.

Half way through a stroke in a recreation of the familiar Brooklyn landscape Stevie stirred. He started low, a growl in his tiny chest, before abruptly roaring into a wail of a cry.

Steve hurriedly puts down the brush and picks up his son but not before fumbling over his glass of water. The sound crashes into the quiet space, heads turn, eyes flow from the crying baby to Steve’s pink face. The trickle of water pouring of his small table only adds to the inflamed embarrassment Steve felt at that moment.

He grabbed the bag and his son. Feeding time.

Steve sat outside of the studio on a thick wooden bench as he struggled with bottles and milk. He was all hands at that moment, his thoughts of Awenha rushed through his mind while his son now screamed.

The moment he thought he had a good grasp on the bottle it slipped from his hand, dinged and skidded across the floor.

It only made Stevie cry more and fidget within Steve’s arms.

Steve tried to hush him, he spoke softly to his son, rocked him gently as he completely ignored the passer byers and the bottle on the ground.

He bent down and reached for another bottle, and the pack of milk within the thin cooler. Just as he was about to almost drop another bottle he felt a hand over his that was wrapped around Stevie.

“Need a hand?” she said.

Steve smells her first, sweet with a bit of spice. Her lotion, the fragrance that he often enjoyed between her thighs. When he sat back up Awenha was there, she scooted in closer on the bench and made to grab inside the bag between his ankles.

Steve continued to rock their son as he watched her quickly and efficiently make his bottle. She handed it to him with a smile.

“Oh, he’s cranky,” she cooed at Stevie. “Grumpy ‘lil hungry guy aren’t you?” she said as her eyes flicked up to meet Steve already watching her.

Steve lowered his eyes to Stevie as his face flushed to a darker pink. “What are you doing here?” he asked as he placed the soft end into his mouth.

“Thought you were tired of being around me already?”

The air around Steve feels cold even though his face says differently. Awenha observed his brows set low, the flex in the muscles of his jaw as his attempt at a quiet rebuff.

Awenha tugged at her bottom lip between her teeth before she spoke. “I’m sorry about this morning,” she said finally.

Steve continued not to look at her. His eyes drifted off from Stevie as his head rose and he stared across the hallway.

“I—I was in a funny head space. It’s no big deal.” She said softly.

Steve rolled his jaw, annoyance sat hard in his voice. “’Could have spoken up.” He turned to look at her beautiful face, dark eyes like his son stared back at him. That wide mouth of hers with natural upturned corners were pulled down and he hated that he did that. Steve studied her face a bit longer before he can no longer look at her.

“I just want to know what makes you tick.” He said, though kinder.

The irritation had all but gone when he considered that maybe he is what doesn’t do it for her anymore. How is this all supposed to work if the woman he loved no longer wanted him? Worry replaces the annoyance as he stares down at Stevie making sure he was drinking well.

“We can work on it.” She said and he felt the back of her hand slide down his face and over his beard.

Even though she sounded hopeful, Steve doesn’t allow it all the way in.

He only nodded and gave her a side smile to ease the expression of worry on her face.

He would try harder, he promised.

* * *

Crowded halls, children’s laughter, some yelling with excitement filled the expo center. Steve’s eyes moved in and out between people, décor, and rows of tables with projects on top of them. Parents with their kids, who stood proudly near their creations, passed him as he walked.

His eyes turned down to Azie. Black curls bounced as she strode alongside her mother. She tried to look unconcerned, but Steve noted the fidget in her small hands, how her eyes widened when she looked at other’s projects.

When they arrived a short time later to her booth H’Hrome was there. Awenha stood next to Steve as they both watched Azie begin to instruct her friend when to boot up the machine. Steve’s eyes wandered to the object. It was peculiar for certain. At least with the other children’s projects he could guess what they did. A volcano, landslide simulations, or even electricity demonstrations. But this thing, Steve curiously took in the odd diamond shape of metal wrapped around cogs, wires, and he couldn’t guess what else.

The judges appeared, though Awenha let him know quickly that they were not. They were professors here to observe the achievements of their students.

“Looks like a contest to me,” said Steve to Awenha just before a very tall woman spoke.

“Student H’Hrome and Azie, please explain what you have created.” She said.

H’Hrome spoke first as Azie stared up at Steve and then to Awenha. Steve caught half of what the little girl said. At the end of it he gathered it was some sort of weather machine.

Azie began to talk about the materials of the object, how long it took them to put it together, and the mechanics. Steve stood in awe of her, he even managed a proud grin as she moved around the small table to a remote. Azie picked it up and announced she would demonstrate.

The object turned on with a glow of green. The metal began to spin around the smaller center until it rose a few feet from the table. Steve heard the noise behind him go quiet and chanced a glance over his shoulder only to see those near watching closely.

A loud hiss of air blew out from the object ruffling his hair, he saw it gust around Awenha’s curls as she stepped back and closer to Steve.

Instantly he remembered not so long ago a television that didn’t stand a chance with the little girl. His eyes darted back to Azie, she was smiling huge her eyes wide with victory as the object continued to glow green over her face.

Steve thought he saw smoke around her, but it was her breath and as soon as he registered it he noticed he could see his breath as well. And slowly all around them white began to fall. They were small bits of flakes like powdered sugar and then a cascade of thick pellets of snow.

“As you can see,” called Azie over the sound of hissing. “You can manipulate the condensation within the air, even the moisture from breath!”

Steve heard a stifled shout from the side. One of the professors was gasping and waving for Azie to shut it down. The snow fell thicker, it began to collect on the floor, the display, and anyone within twelve feet of the machine. It whirled faster, kicked out and sparked at its center.

Awenha stepped forward, “Okay, let’s get it to shut down now Azie.” She said trying to keep the concern out of her tone. “The both of you did an amazing job!” she said cheerfully.

Azie nodded quickly and began to pick at the controls. She turned her head back up at the object but it hadn’t obeyed her commands. The machine continued to produce even more snow until the whole area was filled in a white out.

“Azie!” shouted H’Hrome, the girl ran to Azie. “Turn it off!”

“I’m trying!” Azie yelled back through the blizzard.

Awenha wadded through the piling snow to the girls. H’Hrome’s mother arrived at the same time Awenha did as she held on to her daughter’s arm.

“Baby, shut it down.” said Awenha as she fell to her knees near Azie. But she turned to her mother, Awenha could barely make out Azie’s face as she yelled. “I can’t turn it off!”

“I think I have to-“ stared Azie but Awenha cut her off with a sharp shake of her head.

But as Awenha tried to think what to do next there was a loud pop followed by the abrupt flash of light from the object. Snow began to dissipate. Awenha and Azie peered up where the machine had been only to find Steve standing there with a vibranium pole in his hand with the rounded creation stuck at the top.

Steve jumped from the table to the floor with a skid. He walked over to them just as the professors made their way also.

“That was brilliant,” said the tall woman breathlessly. The sound of applause began to fill the hall along with hoots and calls for more.

“How ever did the two of you come up with this?” ask another professor.

Awenha stood, her eyes shifted from Azie and H’Hrome uncomfortably.

“H’Hrome’s only been to J’Abari mountain once. She liked the snow.” Began Azie.

“She drew the schematics and corrected my math, and I built it.” Added Azie as her eyes suddenly lit up with excitement.

Snow melted down her cheeks as she turned to her mother and Steve.

“I can fix the hole,” she pointed at the machine held by Steve. “I think I can make it switch over to heat. Do you want to see it?”

Steve and Awenha both shook their heads and mumbled _no_ before the professors could get a word in.

Awenha walked through their home; it was darkened within mostly however a lone light near the door to the study lit the space. No sound, Stevie must be asleep she thought when guilt hit her that maybe he had wanted her before he closed his eyes.

She was H’Hrome’s house settling her parents’ nerves and passively assuring them that Azie would keep them in the loop next time. Finally after a few jokes about a white out they eased up.

Though Awenha could see the subtle fear in their eyes, it was mostly worry on their part. Awenha had seen that look before, when she was a girl, with her only friends’ parents. Drea and Tiakan had also imparted their version of the truth like she had tonight.

As quickly as her parents entered her mind the actions of Steve tonight entered it too. He was a good father, great even. And then, this morning came back full force. His gentleness, the light kisses with a promise of tender motion laced underneath.

When she walked to the refrigerator for a drink a shadow in the dark beyond the back door caught her eye. A tall, broad shouldered figure sat slumped on the furniture on the other side of the dining room window, Steve.

Awenha passed over the threshold of the back door. She couldn’t see his eyes well enough to judge his mood. But his body said it all.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked and approached slowly.

He didn’t speak and only shifted lazily in the shadow of the dim light from within the house.

“I spoke to her parents. Everything is okay, you don’t have to worry,” she offered.

When he still did not speak Awenha moved to sit near him on the cushioned bench. Her legs touched him and he sighed. She squinted in the dark hoping to catch any bit of emotion upon his face, but she saw very little.

“Have you heard from Bucky?” he said and swallowed hard.

“No. Have you?”

Steve’s hair moving from a small breeze became the only indication that he shook his head.

“I was thinking about him though.” He said. Steve sounded neither angry or sad as he spoke as Awenha listened. “He said we need to make you feel safe.”

The darkened outline of his head turned to her. She was sure he could see her better than she saw him.

“I do.”

“I tried to do that this morning. I—wanted you to feel,” but his voice fizzled out.

Awenha stilted next to Steve. In all her thoughts of self preservation she hadn’t thought of the after. That maybe it would not be as easy as she thought coming to Steve with honesty. Her mind lately was filled with Bucky, how he was, what he was doing and thought very little about how Steve felt. He made it easy to push him off. The lenient Steve, the gentler man was hardly a cause for concern.

In some ways he was like the man she first met. A kind stranger, a person to listen to her woes. And now without Bucky to act as a buffer it became harder to ignore the growing nervousness.

“Remember when you took Azie for ice cream? When I was out of my mind with that project, you came to see me?”

Steve mumbled under his breath.

“I feel like I’m still there with you. Even though after everything we’ve gone through, sometimes I still see you as that.”

Steve turned his body, he put his arm over the back of the bench listening to her.

“But then I know what you feel and how I feel. The dream-world showed me that. It’s just a matter of my body catching up with my mind.”

“I’m sorry about what you saw.”

“I’m not.” She said quickly. “I—sometimes think about how deep your emotions went with the young woman.”

Awenha rubbed her face and partially covered her mouth so her words came out in muffled tones.

“It’s the same you have for me. And part of me knows it’s not right, but I want it.”

Steve reeled for a moment. His heart began to pump faster.

“I want the control, I need the release from not knowing what will come next. I—sound insane.” She trailed off and looked into the dark away from Steve, even started to move away.

But he doesn’t let her break contact, Steve wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. He is not Bucky. As messed up as that man could be Steve only knows the dark in his own heart. Where he was brash, Steve softened, or at least attempted a more benign approach. Whatever demands Bucky put on her in the beginning were in the past but not the effects. The same could be said for him too. And boy, did he do it.

And here it was, pouring from her mouth like fledgling prayers. He wouldn’t ignore them.

Steve held her face with his other hand. He could smell the toffee in her lip gloss, could feel the heat of her breath move over his nose as he dipped in. When she recoiled with a whimper he shushed her and kept going until his lips touched hers.

Awenha couldn’t see his eyes when he pulled away. But she felt them, unyielding and dark tampering around the edges as always.

On a breath Steve let go of her face, he grabbed her thigh and held her back pulling her to straddle his hips. Those large hands used to break jaws, snap bones of his enemies, glide up her thighs and under the soft fabric of her skirt.

He gripped her hips hard, squeezed and kneaded the curve until she whined low, under her breath. Steve tried to bite down on his lip to cage the growl in his throat, but it didn’t work. It came out harsh, bothered, tempted. Awenha rocked back and forth along the bulge of his jeans. And in Steve’s mind he remembered how she looked underneath him. The quiet fear in her watery eyes, her body writhing with pleasure despite the terror and it made him miss those times.

_Does he dare now?_

She was clawing down his cotton tee, moaning and desperately kissing up the scruff of his neck. If she could see his face at this moment, witness the tight focus in his eyes on the arch of her back, how his nose flared at the sweat of her neck she might not be so indulgent. So free with her attention. She was so unaware at how hard he was holding on to the last bit of the respectability he was trying to train into himself.

Awenha’s voice floated up, like it was emerging from the pit of her chest. “You did to me what you did to Ruby,”

Steve stilled at the accusation, his hands stopped rubbing her ass as the woman’s name passed into his mind.

“It’s what you like though?” she continued, her hand scratched over his shirt and shoved it between their bodies. “Give it to me again…” she uttered and her voice combusted in his mind and heart.

The indecisiveness within him dried up. Steve’s hands immediately moved to Awenha’s neck where he held her tight. A wisp of a breath shot out as he jerked her body up straight.

Her pulse raced under the pads of his fingers and sent a wild fire of desires through his mind. Awenha didn’t struggle, she merely wrapped a hand around his wrist. The other unzipped his jeans, she tugged at his cock freeing it from below.

Steve stared at the shadows of her face. Was she scared? Part of him hoped so.

She wanted this.

Her hand pulled at her skirt, she rose a bit and within seconds he was sheathed within her.

She dripped around him and his hands tightened. A low hum softly vibrated in her throat and she began to move.

He tried to stamp down the need to thrust up. He wanted to feel her move, feel her accept him as he was.

“Tell me how much you missed this.” he said, grinding his teeth.

She began to bounce on his thighs.

“Tied in the dark with only your mind to keep you company.”

Both her hands pulled on his wrists, her head tilted back as a sorrowful whimper thudded out of her mouth.

She rolled her hips, sank down on him further. “And me, so deep inside you…” he grunted.

“Yes…”

Steve slunk down, spread his legs further as he yanked her down to his face. He thrusted up hard and kept going even through her cries.

“You’d cum so hard for me even if you didn’t want it. Didn’t you?” he accused.

She shuddered all over at the memory of it. He took it as an invitation.

With his hands still wrapped around her neck Steve pulled her body back onto the bench cushions. He pounced on top of her splitting her legs with his weight and all she can do is hang on. To his shirt, a hand on his wrist as she tried to ground herself against his onslaught. He took her fast, buried himself deep inside her without another thought of the pain he wrought down.

At the corner of her mind the shadow pulled back. Her mind cleared and she felt nothing but him. Steve with his heavy body assailing her senses. His lips grazed her chin, his beard scratched her neck as he pushed himself harder into her.

“My honey,” he whispered breathlessly. “I feel you clenching.”

Her body shook with every pump.

“Your needy little hole,” he groaned.

There was an explosion behind her lids, lights rained down like stardust. For one sweet minute she thought nothing at all but bliss as the coil snapped inside her core. And Steve didn’t stop; he grabbed her wrists with one of his hands above her head. He took the leg hanging out over the ledge and pressed it into her chest along with himself. Steve rolled his hips, snapped the rhythm up in smooth strokes.

“Want more of my babies?” his voice floated down to her with promise. “I’ll give them to you.”

His body began to lose the beat and the thought of filling her up became too much. She was so wet, too tight and he lost control.

Steve leaned into her at the same time his breath stuttered in his chest.

“I’ll give you everything,” he said through a heavy pant. “Nothing is off limits,”

Steve wrapped his arms around her shoulder and pushed his softening cock deeper.

“I’ll give it all.” He whispered.

* * *

Three weeks were gone. Actually three weeks plus two days to be exact. And she was precise. Azie sat on the ledge of the open living room window. She waited. For the last two days she came home from school with hope in her heart only to find that her father had not returned.

Today was no different.

Her mother walked into the living room, again. Azie ignored her concerned gaze and continued to stare out onto the road.

In the distance, coming from the city, a vehicle approached. It passed houses, shops, until finally he came to a stop in front of their home. Awenha stood behind her, hugging her shoulders as she began to jump out of the window.

“Azie! Use the door!” corrected Awenha.

The girl swatted at her mother’s helpful hand and ran through the house to the front door. She tore it open and ran out into the evening light.

“Dad!” she shouted running at full speed through the yard.

Bucky stepped out of the vehicle and slammed the door behind him. He looked worse for wear. Dark circles under his eyes, his hair looked unwashed, but he smiled at Azie. He held his arms out as she jumped for him.

Her eyes burned, tears soon slid down her hot cheeks.

Bucky hushed her with a quick peck to her temple. He put her back on the ground and held her face in his hands.

“Hey,” he said and got down to her level. “No tears, I’m home okay.” He gently smiled.

“How was your project?” he asked quickly, Bucky wiped her tears with his thumbs.

Azie coughed with another sob. She cried harder as she spoke. “I made it snow.”

“Good!” he said excitedly. “Did you do the thing I told you? Give it that extra kick?”

Azie huffed into a steady breath, a smile cracked along her frown. She nodded slowly.

She giggled lightly. “It Brooklyn blizzard’ like in ’25.” she said, imitating Bucky’s accent.


	19. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Seems to be getting crowded. ;)  
> Chapter Warnings: Reminder that this story is 18+!! :: angst, heavy-petting

Awenha reached out and traced the curve of Bucky’s elbow with one finger as he slept.

At least she thought he was sleeping. Dark hair ruffled at the top of his head, his face restful but not fully taken by exhaustion he laid there snoring softly. She chanced his awakening, her finger joined by three touched his metal shoulder then continued with the back of her hand as she caressed the stubble of his neck.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said in a thick voice.

Bucky’s eyes barely opened to a crack. Pointed blues were already looking at her under heavy lids as she perched her chin on his metal arm.

“It’s rude to watch people,” A smile began to grow at the corner of his lips. His words did not deter her from doing just that.

His eyes searched hers when Awenha did not speak. Worry sat in them, next to it love and possibly hesitation.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered and turned over in bed. Awenha sat up and looked down at him, the anxiety appeared to double as she considered him.

“Is it Steve?” he asked and this time he too sat up. Bucky scooted closer, folded one of his legs under the other while he slid the other around her on the bed.

Awenha shook her head as Bucky moved closer and wrapped his arms around her. It scared him, the reason behind her apprehension, he hoped that this, whatever it was, the circumstances would be merciful.

So he clung to her. Bucky’s hands moved from her wrist to her face pulling her eyes back to him.

“What is it?” he said in a breath, the anticipation eating away at his resolve.

Awenha sighed, blinked quickly as she spoke. “I’m pregnant.” She said softly.

“Stevie is three months old, and I’m pregnant again.” She said breathlessly.

Bucky released the breath he hadn’t realized was caught. He buried his face in Awenha’s neck, curls brushed his eyes, his forehead and she smelled sweet as always. Daring, strong, and just her. The worry melted from within him but it did not seem to do so from her. Awenha sat still a bit rigid.

His nose nudged her earlobe as he sank further in her scent. She was here, telling him, but not Steve. He wondered why.

“You didn’t tell Steve?” he asked quietly and pulled his head back to look at her once again.

“I will,” she said with her eyes turning away from his critical gaze. “One of them is yours.”

Bucky’s brows moved far up his forehead and he didn’t move.

“They are twins.” she said, though he still did not react.

“It’s too soon right? I—I’m not sure what you would-“ she stammered, her soft voice died away.

“No.” he said finally.

Bucky’s words cut through the silence between them. He thought she would confess to loving Steve more, that Azie was tired of him, or maybe all of this was a dream and he was still sleeping. But this, her having his child, it was the stuff of his dreams. Awenha’s shoulders sagged, he could tell her thoughts were moving like the speed of light, in the space of his silence.

“It’s not.” He said, his voice delicate as he stared at her. Oddly he thought of the fragile tapestries hanging within the palace. Torn around the edges, could fall apart if you touched too hard, but beautiful nonetheless.

“It’s not unexpected.” Bucky blushed as he spoke. His hand dropped from her cheek as he rubbed his lower face. “I mean, we weren’t exactly careful.” He said with a smile.

“No,” she said with her voice a mere breath.

Sunlight poured in throughout the room. Steve opened the door, Awenha’s eyes slowly widened and then turned away from Bucky to the wall behind the bed. She could feel him behind her, without even looking at him she could sense his presences crawling up the bones of her spine.

“’Bout time you woke up,” Steve’s voice was neither light nor serious. It sat in the room, it pushed their energy around and demanded them to notice.

Bucky stared at Steve unbothered, unaffected and rubbed Awenha’s back.

“What’s wrong?” Steve echoed Bucky’s concern.

Shuffling into the room turned to quick steps to the side of the bed where Awenha’s legs dangled off. Steve knelt down on his knees, his hands went to her thigh as he stared up at her waiting.

When she turned to him he was slick with sweat from his morning run. Blue shirt dark under the armpits, his face flushed with pink around his eyes, but she could see the worry quickly filling the edges of his tolerance.

“I was telling Bucky some news.” She said quickly. Awenha brushed over his beard, laid a kiss on his sticky forehead. It seemed to relax him enough. Steve slowly nodded, his thumb gently rubbed upon her skin.

“I’m pregnant.”

Steve’s head jerked back slightly and then he began to smile immediately. Any stress that was held in his eyes melted away as he grabbed for her arms. Steve stood up and at the same time pulled her up with him.

His smile pursed into a tight grin as his hands dropped to hers. He brought her palms to his lips and kissed each of them before grabbing her waist. Steve held her tight. Eyes watery, a bit of a pant later he pushed his face into her neck.

“This—this is wonderful news.” He said with a shaky voice.

Awenha turned her head back to Bucky with a pleasant, though dazed expression. “There’s two,” she said to the air.

Steve pulled away, his hands still holding her, the smile dropped away.

“There are two!” she said with excitement filling her voice. “You’re the father of the girl.” She said to Steve, and tilted her head back to Bucky. “You are the father of the other, a boy.”

The sleepiness now fully away Bucky threw back the covers, as Steve began to gently shake her waist his smile busted back across his face in a silent laugh. Bucky stepped out of bed, his hand already out stretched for her face he cupped her face and dipped in toward her lips.

She stood there. Soaking up their happiness, their collective joy. Distress at their reaction plummeted within her as Steve wrapped his body around the side of her while Bucky’s hand went to her belly.

“How’d we—“ said Steve with a hitch of bliss in his tone. “We’re so lucky.” Bucky finished the sentence for him.

Her heart fluttered, she had ached that this would be their reaction. Their words take hold deep within and she let go of the stress, the overworked thoughts and just held on to them both.

“Luckiest punks on Earth,” said Steve.

Soon their light touches become measured strokes. Awenha tangled her fingers in Steve’s damp dark strands. Bucky’s body moved to her back and quickly she was consumed in them. Their heat, their endless attention takes over any more cause for concern on her part.

Bucky’s gritty stubble rubbed along the nape of her neck with the silk kisses he laid there. Her breaths came out shorter as Steve’s hand pushed down the front of her pants.

One hand on the back of Bucky’s head, the other on Steve’s she burrowed into them.

They had her and they held her up.

Her family.

* * *

Steve was uncomfortable to say the least of how he felt currently. But he was here, in T’Challa’s office waiting for the moment to be over.

That’s what he got for agreeing to follow Bucky, thought Steve.

T’Challa’s eyes stared at the mud falling off of Steve’s boots and on to his pristine stone floor. Bucky shifted in front of him, held his hand out to shake the King’s hand and T’Challa received it easily.

“I will approve it.” Announced T’Challa. “Not that she would ever allow me to do differently.” He said.

His typical tone, devoid of bigger emotions somehow rolled out cheerful. It caught Steve’s attention and he stared at the King.

T’Challa’s stern gaze was on him when Steve met his eyes.

“That is, if it is true that you are willing?” added T’Challa and walked passed Bucky to Steve. The air around him stifles, it numbs his hands, Steve felt the hesitation in his own voice before it came up.

“Of course.” Said Steve, his expression was blank and level as he could manage.

T’Challa glanced at him from the side of his eye and turned his back to the two of them.

“However,” he said briskly. “If my cousin does not communicate with us.” His head tilted with a thought as he stared out the large window leading to the balcony. “Or if she so much as hesitates in her decision and wishes to return. It would be in your best interest to let her do so.”

Steve’s face burned. His eyes did not leave the back of T’Challa’s head.

“I will come for you otherwise.” He said, and turned his head to the side.

Bucky stepped forward. “Nothing like that will happen.”

“Not from you, White Wolf.” Said T’Challa, he turned with his eyes only on the former captain.

Steve rolled his jaw as he nodded.

“I won’t do that,” said Steve and stepped next to Bucky. He sit his shoulders straight and prepared for what could come. “I won’t do that again,” he admitted.

T’Challa’s expression of stone does not blanch. His eyes roved over Steve’s attempt at a curt, simple nod. But it fell flat, looked over the top and T’Challa suspected perhaps Steve tried to apologize in his own way.

“Our wife,” said Steve, with his voice stronger, more confident than his body language. “Awenha is in no danger with us. She’s our world, the mother of our children. She is safe with us.”

And she was, thought Steve. He chanced a furtive glance at Bucky when T’Challa did not speak. That despite the rough beginnings, both he and Bucky’s love for her remained true, it was the center of everything they did. Pure.

“I trust her judgment,” said T’Challa.

He began to walk toward the door of his large, though finely decorated, office.

He passed them but halted just behind.

“I trust that connection will do all of you justice.” He added.

* * *

“Are you seriously taking all of this with you?” asked Awenha.

Casually she lifted a thin bag stuffed with no telling how many socks. Yuki came next to her quickly and snatched it from her hands.

“I have never been to New York. Who knows if they have my type of sock.”

Awenha sat on the edge of Yuki’s bed, she smoothed her hand over the marigold colored bed spread.

“Do you want to take this too?” she laughed softly.

Yuki glared back at her and placed the bag within a sleek metal trunk.

“Will he be joining you too?” Awenha called in a delicate, sickly sweet voice.

Yuki’s mouth resisted the grin, she bit her lip and did not meet Awenha’s prying stare.

“His name is Richard, he has the kindest eyes, the best smile,”

“You’re in love!” Awenha bellowed.

Yuki shot up straight from the trunk, mouth open wide with shock. “I’m not!” she yelled back.

Awenha eye balled her with judgment. “If you say so.” She said, disbelievingly.

“I do. And I’m not.”

Awenha hummed an _uh huh_ and rolled her eyes.

“You’re only going to New York with a very handsome man, who told you that ‘ _the stars hung only for you_ ’…”

Yuki narrowed her eyes. Her friend always the source of understanding became different before Awenha’s eyes. Yuki’s soft edges showed for a moment. The short, combative at times, medic slunk back a bit. She sighed.

“He is wonderful.” She said. “I enjoy his company. I look for him at the civilian center even though I know he is already in New York.”

Yuki’s words drifted off as she bent back down and closed the trunk.

“But…” said Awenha stringing the end out playfully. 

“I am not sure love is for me.” said Yuki.

“I’ve never seen you insecure about any choice in your life. And the fact you are thinking this hard about Richard just shows how much he means to you.”

Awenha stood up from the bed and walked across Yuki’s room toward her. “Love is love.” She said with a sigh.

“You’ll know it.” said Awenha.

“Do you?” asked Yuki.

Awenha stilled at the question. Her thoughts came rough like the tense gaze in Bucky’s eyes just before he wrapped his metal hand around the base of her throat. Her breath came slow and steadied as Steve’s ever present, rigid voice urging her to take him deeper than before. And her, in the middle of them, with a gasp slamming its way through her lungs like the beating of her heart now.

She _knew_ it. 


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Final peek into their life.  
> Chapter Warnings: Reminder that this story is 18+!! :: none, language maybe

_Brooklyn, New York 2028 (5 years later)_

Awenha didn’t know who started it first.

But her head split with the shrieking from the back yard. She rushed from the kitchen down the hall. Cool spring afternoon air gusted across her face as she preened passed the screen door.

A tall five year old ran fast, barely looked back as he leapt away from his very angry sister.

“Stevie!” she screamed and ducked toward him determined to cut off his escape. He pivoted, just in time, to the left throwing her balance off and right into a pile of earth for the garden.

“I’m going—“ she hissed from the dirt. “I’m going to _kill_ you!”

“Azie has a boyfriend!” yelled the boy. He fisted a piece of paper in a thick little hand, chubby cheeks bounced as he made for the back door of their home.

Awenha opened the door in time for him to step up the stairs two at a time toward her.

“Stevie!” Azie’s voice carried across the yard.

Awenha looked down at the boy. He wasn’t out of breath, barely even looked disheveled as he shoved the paper into his mother’s hand.

“What did I tell you?” Awenha berated. “Why are you still going through your sister’s personal stuff.”

The boy ducked inside the house as Azie came running fast toward them. Awenha grabbed the collar of his shirt, stopping him completely.

“Apologize!” she hissed, pulling back down the hall to face his sister.

“I’m sorry.” He said, rolling his eyes but Awenha thumped him on the ear.

“Okay!” and he looked up at Azie’s imperious glare. “I’m sorry I went through your _love letters_.”

Azie moved to hit him but Awenha put up her hand.

“Sounds like another book report to me.”

Steve’s voice moved through the hall before he rounded the corner from the hallway.

“A thousand words on the Privacy Act of 2023?” he scolded.

Stevie shrugged. “She didn’t even hide the shit-“

“Stevie!” Awenha barked.

“Fifteen hundred then, minus the colorful language.” said Steve gruffly.

Stevie whined but shut it up as soon as he saw the expression on his father’s face.

He looked back up at Azie. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

Azie waved him off, her eyes drifted to the piece of paper in her mother’s hand. “Can I have that back?”

Awenha unrolled from its clumpy form and handed it back to Azie. Stevie walked off down the hall taking care to bypass his father without direct eye contact.

Behind Azie the screen door slammed. Bucky took a step in, sweat drenched, wood chips splintered across one side of his cheek. He smelled of sweat, work, and from the look in his eyes a bit of annoyance.

“What the shit was all that yelling?” he bit off, took a dirty red rag from his back pocket and began to wipe his hands. “I could hear it in the next house.” He grumbled.

“Stevie and Azie-“

Azie huffed. “It was Stevie, sticking his big, fat-“

“Easy.” Bucky mumbled.

“He was in my stuff!” she said tearfully.

“He won’t do it again,” Awenha stepped up to Azie but her arm over her shoulders.

The two of them walked down the hall to the kitchen as Awenha spoke softly to her.

Steve and Bucky exchanged knowing expressions. Their kids, them to the core but tampered by Awenha’s care were them through and through.

“Remember when you hid my baseball card?” said Steve as he leaned against the wall.

Bucky kicked a leg out, stuffed the rag back down in his pocket. “I remember buying that card. Can’t steal what’s yours.”

“I was eight. You said it was a birthday present.” Corrected Steve.

Bucky opened his mouth to retort, to defend his actions when Awenha called from the kitchen.

“Can one of you please, get them-“

But her voice was cut off by a sudden crash from the other side of the house. Bucky pushed off from the wall, he walked through the kitchen while Steve took the path down the hall to the living room.

Two four year olds took turns swinging a bat. The little boy held it in his hands, pulled it back like he had seen his father do once before. Bucky’s eyes moved from the bat to the book shelf, it was in pieces.

“Took after you.” said Steve as he walked in and picked up his daughter.

Bucky pulled the bat by the thick end out of his hands before he could connect again. “Well she took after you,” he countered. “Didn’t she shit all over your favorite jersey the other day.”

“Serves you right for talking all that garbage about my team.” Bucky laughed.

Their family pinched in around the small table. Azie grabbed for a slice of pizza, apparently the same piece Stevie reached for.

“Get the other one,” said Steve heading off another squabble. He nudged his son with his elbow and pointed at the one beside it.

Stevie did as he was told. Bucky sat hunched over his plate hovering the slice, sucking in air as the cheese practically melted the roof of his mouth. Awenha placed a few pieces of pepperoni on the twin’s plates along with a couple of crusts. Steve slung his arm around the top of Awenha’s chair as he gnawed on his own crust.

Her eyes floated over the faces of her children seeing both Bucky and Steve in their features along the way.

Around them, the room seemed to breathe with them as the breeze swept through the cracked window. It came alive with the creaking of the chairs when they shifted in their seats. Soft gold of the wallpaper beamed back happily with the sun dancing from the shimmer from a homemade wind chime. 

Awenha leaned into the nook of Steve’s arm with a satisfied sigh. Bucky sat back in his chair, still chewing, and under the table he placed his hand on her thigh. She grinned, popped another piece of crust into her mouth as he squeezed lightly.

Their little perfect, imperfect family. Flawed, but stronger, accepting and loving. They were content, happy.

_The End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for deciding to read this story. It's been fun and terrifying at times to bring it to you lol. I'm glad there was something in it that made it worth the read. Thank you <3


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